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Thread ID: 72934	2006-10-01 19:14:00	Monday Laughs: Sisters.......	Billy T (70)	PC World Chat

Post ID	Timestamp	Content	User
488466	2006-10-01 19:14:00	TEXAN SISTERS A cowgirl, who moved to Arkansas from Texas, walks into a bar and orders three handles of Bud. She sits in the back of the room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn. When she finishes them, she comes back to the bar and orders three more. The bartender approaches and tells the cowgirl, "You know, a handle goes flat pretty quick after it's drawn. It would taste better if you bought your drinks one at a time." The cowgirl replies, "Well, you see, I have two sisters. One is in New Zealand, the other is in London. When we all left our home in Texas, we promised that we'd drink this way to remember the days when we drank together. So I'm drinking one beer for each of my sisters and one for myself." The bartender admits that this is a nice custom, and leaves it at that. The cowgirl becomes a regular in the bar, and always drinks the same way. She orders three handles and drinks them in turn. One day, she comes in and only orders two handles. All the regulars take notice and fall silent. When she comes back to the bar for the second round, the bartender says, "I don't want to intrude on your grief, but I wanted to offer my condolences on your loss." The cowgirl looks quite puzzled for a moment, then a light dawns in her eyes and she laughs. "Oh, no, everybody's just fine," she explains, "it's just that my husband and I joined the Baptist Church and I had to quit drinking." "Hasn't affected my sisters though." Cheers Billy 8-{)	Billy T (70)
488467	2006-10-01 20:13:00	She came home early and found her husband in their bedroom making love to a very attractive young woman . The wife was VERY upset! "You are a disrespectful pig!" she cried . "How dare you do this to me - a faithful wife, the mother of your children! I'm leaving you . I want a divorce straight away!" And he replied: "Hang on just a minute luv, so at least I can tell you what happened" "Fine, go ahead", she sobbed, " but they'll be the last words you'll say to me!" And he began: "Well, I was getting into the car to drive home and this young lady here asked me for a lift . She looked so down and out and defenceless that I took pity on her and let her into the car . I noticed that she was very thin, not well dressed and very dirty . She told me that she hadn't eaten for three days! So, in my compassion, I brought her home and warmed up the enchiladas I made for you last night, the ones you wouldn't eat because you're afraid you'll put on weight . The poor thing devoured them in moments . Since she needed a good clean-up I suggested a shower and while she was doing that I noticed her clothes were dirty and full of holes so I threw them away . Then, as she needed clothes, I gave her the designer jeans that you have had for a few years, but don't wear because you say they are too tight . I also gave her the underwear that was your annivers-ary present, which you don't wear because I don't have good taste . I found the sexy blouse my sister gave you for Christmas that you don't wear just to annoy her and I also donated those boots you bought at the expensive boutique and don't wear because someone at work has a pair like them . . " He took a quick breath and continued: "She was so grateful for my understanding and help and as I walked her to the door she turned to me with tears in her eyes and said '"Please . . . . . . . . do you have anything else that your wife doesn't use!" :D	smithie 38 (6684)
488468	2006-10-01 22:26:00	Hahaha smithie that's a very good joke :thumbs:	Fishy (10540)
488469	2006-10-01 23:01:00	Two sisters, one blonde and one brunette, inherit the family ranch. Unfortunately, after just a few years, they are in financial trouble. In order to keep the bank from repossessing the ranch, they need to purchase a bull so that they can breed their own stock. The brunette balances their checkbook, then takes their last $600 dollars out west to another ranch where a man has a prize bull for sale. Upon leaving, she tells her sister, "When I get there, if I decide to buy the bull, I'll contact you to drive out after me and haul it home." The brunette arrives at the man's ranch, inspects the bull, and decides she does want to buy it. The man tells her that he can sell it for $599, no less. After paying him, she drives to the nearest town to send her sister a telegram to tell her the news. She walks into the telegraph office, and says, "I want to send a telegram to my sister telling her that I've bought a bull for our ranch. I need her to hitch the trailer to our pickup truck and drive out here so we can haul it home." The telegraph operator explains that he'll be glad to help her, then adds, "It's just 99 cents a word." Well, after paying for the bull, the brunette only has $1 left. She realizes that she'll only be able to send her sister one word. After thinking for a few minutes, she nods, and says, "I want you to send her the word, 'comfortable.'" The telegraph operator shakes his head. "How is she ever going to know that you want her to hitch the trailer to your pickup truck and drive out here to haul that bull back to your ranch if you send her the word, 'comfortable'?" The brunette explains, "My sister's blonde, she'll read it very slow."	KiwiTT_NZ (233)
488470	2006-10-04 04:45:00	A skinny little white guy goes into an elevator, looks up and sees this HUGE black guy standing next to him . The big guy sees the little guy staring at him looks down and says: I'm 7 feet 6 inches tall, 350 pounds, 20 inch private, 3 Pound left testicle, 3 pound right testicle, Turner Brown . " The white man faints and falls to the floor . The big guy kneels down and brings him to, shaking him . When he's fully awake again, the big guy says, "What's wrong with you?" In a weak voice the little guy says, "What EXACTLY did you say to me?" The big dude says: "I saw your curious look and figured I'd just give you the answers to the questions everyone always asks me . I'm 7 feet tall, I weigh 350 pounds, I have a 20 inch private, my left testicle weighs 3 pounds, my right testicle weighs 3 pounds, and my name is Turner Brown . " The small guy gasps, "Turner Brown"?!!! . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . I thought you said, "Turn around"! Cheers Billy 8-{) :eek:	Billy T (70)
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