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Thread ID: 143478	2017-01-23 07:52:00	Monday Laughs: .....A touch of Holy Humour......Not to be taken seriously...........	Billy T (70)	PC World Chat

Post ID	Timestamp	Content	User
1430974	2017-01-23 07:52:00	. . HOLY HUMOUR During these serious and troubled times, people of all faiths should remember these four great religious truths: 1. Muslims do not recognise Jews as God's Chosen People. 2. Jews do not recognise Jesus as the Messiah. 3. Protestants do not recognise the Pope as the leader of the Christian world. 4. Baptists do not recognise each other at the liquor store. ********************************* After Jesus dies he goes up to Heaven, the first thing he does is look for his father, as he has never met the man before and is curious as to what he looks like. Naturally, he wants to know whether he looks like his mother or father, etc. so he searches high and low but cannot find him. He asks St. Peter "Where is my father?" But St. Peter says he doesn't know. He asks the Archangel Gabriel "Where is my father?" But Gabriel doesn't know. He asks John the Baptist "Where is my father?" But John does not know. So he wanders Heaven, impatiently searching. Suddenly he sees out of the mist an old man coming toward him. The man is very old, with white hair, stooped over a little. "Stop!" Jesus calls. "Who are you?" " Oh, please help me, I am an old man in search of my son." come the reply! Jesus is very excited. Could this be his father? "Tell me of your son, old man," he asks. "Oh, you would know him if you saw him. Holes in his hands where the nails used to be, he was hung from a cross, you know..." "Father!!!!!" Screams Jesus. "Pinocchio!!!!!!!" cries the old man. ********************************* Jesus and Moses are sitting in heaven one day, bored out of their skulls. Moses pipes up, "Hey Jesus, how about we go down and do some fishing?" Jesus replies, "sure!" and they head down to a beautiful mountain lake. After casting lines for a while with no bites, Moses says, "Hey Jesus, why don't you walk out on the water to where the big ones are." Jesus says "Sounds like a good idea," and proceeds to head out past the shore. He gets a few feet out and is knee deep. Moses says "Why don't you try from the dock, at least there you've kind of got a start." Jesus heads out from the dock, takes his first step and SPLASH! He's up to his neck in the water. He clambers back to shore very disgruntled, and Moses says, "Why don't we take the boat out, and you can go from there?" So they row out to the center of the lake where all the big fish are and Jesus takes a step out and falls to the bottom of the lake. Moses parts the water and hauls Jesus back into the boat and says, "I know what the problem is! You didn't have those damned holes in your feet the last time we went fishing!" ********************************* Little Zachary was doing very badly in mathematics. His parents had tried everything......tutors, mentors, flash cards, special learning centers. In short, everything they could think of to help his maths, the finally, in a last ditch effort, they took Zachary down and enrolled him in the local Catholic school. After the first day, little Zachary came home with a very serious look on his face. He didn't even kiss his mother hello. Instead, he went straight to his room and started studying. Books and papers were spread out all over the room and little Zachary was hard at work. His mother was amazed. She called him down to dinner.. To her shock, the minute he was done, he marched back to his room without a word, and in no time, he was back hitting the books as hard as before. This went on for some time, day after day, while the mother tried to understand what made all the difference. Finally, little Zachary brought home his Report Card.. He quietly laid it on the table, went up to his room and hit the books.. With much trepidation, his Mother looked at it and to her great surprise, Little Zachary got an 'A' in maths. She could no longer hold her curiosity. She went to his room and said, 'Son, what was it? Was it the Nuns?' Little Zachary looked at her and shook his head, no. 'Well, then,' she replied. 'Was it the books, the discipline, the structure, the uniforms? What was it?' Little Zachary looked at her and said, 'Well, on the first day of school when I saw that guy nailed to the plus sign, I knew they weren't fooling around.' Cheers Billy 8-{) :devil	Billy T (70)
1430975	2017-01-23 18:18:00	"4. Baptists do not recognise each other at the liquor store. 'Well, on the first day of school when I saw that guy nailed to the plus sign, I knew they weren't fooling around.'" LOL, very good.	pctek (84)
1430976	2017-01-23 18:49:00	Thanks Billy	gary67 (56)
1430977	2017-01-25 02:46:00	Holy moley that is good.	Bobh (5192)
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