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Thread ID: 74169	2006-11-13 20:16:00	Monday Laughs: Tuesday edition.......	Billy T (70)	PC World Chat

Post ID	Timestamp	Content	User
498846	2006-11-14 18:42:00	That's actually quite logical. You plug in a USB keyboard, THEN press F2, or whatever.	pcuser42 (130)
498847	2006-11-15 02:27:00	Bit of a silly question really, the return key is the Enter key, the one with the arrow pointing backwards. Also known as "carriage return" from typewriter days, hence "return key" because it returns the cursor to the left margin and starts a new line. That one fell flat on its face didn't it! Cheers Billy 8-{) :illogical Well that was lame. The "return key" doesn't have "return" written on it anywhere. If someone managed to figure all of that^^^^ out, then they would be able to figure out that any key means any key. :logical	roddy_boy (4115)
498848	2006-11-15 02:55:00	Uhm..... Isnt the "Return " key next to the "Any" key????? :)	smithie 38 (6684)
498849	2006-11-15 03:04:00	Unrelated: www.dbooth.net	pcuser42 (130)
498850	2006-11-15 06:14:00	The "return key" doesn't have "return" written on it anywhere . If someone managed to figure all of that^^^^ out, then they would be able to figure out that any key means any key . :logical Not so roddy boy, carriage returns are still an integral part of WP terminology, and the emblem on the key aptly illustrated the function . That it is also the enter key simply reflects society's increasing dependence on technology, which segues nicely to the "Any Key" thing, which is almost certainly an urban myth, though it may have its roots in the apocryphal struggles of some poor individual genetically unsuited to life in modern society . People who can't figure out ^^^^ will still be looking for their toothbrush and saying "what th' . . . . . . . " when the last spaceship has left and the earth hits the Sun . It is so ordained in the Book of Billy, Chapter 10, Verse 7: "And I say unto you that verily, they who found not the Any Key, who forsaketh punctuation, spelleth not in the manner ordained by the Elders, useth not the Carriage Return and acquireth not the sense of humour as passed down through centuries untold in the great works of our Lord John Cleese shall verily burn in the fires of the big round red thing that hangeth in the sky and shall be searching for implements of oral hygiene, yea verily as the last train leaves for Cleeseville . " They too shall be ex-parrots, and we shall know them no more . Cheers Billy <8-{) ;)	Billy T (70)
498851	2006-11-15 07:36:00	These are genuine clips from British Council Flat tenants complaining to the Council about problems with their flats . My bush is really overgrown round the front and my back passage has fungus growing in it . He's got this huge tool that vibrates the whole house and I just can't take it anymore . It's the dog's mess that I find hard to swallow . I want some repairs done to my cooker as it has backfired and burnt my knob off . I wish to complain that my father hurt his ankle very badly when he put his foot in the hole in his back passage . And their 18-year-old son is continually banging his balls against my fence . I wish to report that tiles are missing from the outside toilet roof . I think it was bad wind the other night that blew them off . My lavatory seat is cracked, where do I stand? I am writing on behalf of my sink, which is coming away from the wall . Will you please send someone to mend the garden path? My wife tripped and fell on it yesterday and now she is pregnant . I request permission to remove my drawers in the kitchen . 50% of the walls are damp, 50% have crumbling plaster and 50% are plain filthy . I am still having problems with smoke in my new drawers . The toilet is blocked and we cannot bath the children until it is cleared . Will you please send a man to look at my water; it is a funny colour and not fit to drink . Our lavatory seat is broken in half and is now in three pieces . I want to complain about the farmer across the road; every morning at 5 am his cock wakes me up and its now getting too much for me . The man next door has a large erection in the back garden, which is unsightly and dangerous . Our kitchen floor is damp . We have two children and would like a third so please send someone round to do something about it . I am a single woman living in a downstairs flat and would you please do something about the noise made by the man on top of me every night . Please send a man with the right tool to finish the job and satisfy my wife . I have had the clerk of works down on the floor six times but I still have no satisfaction .	Cicero (40)
498852	2006-11-15 20:16:00	It's a very sad world we live in when Sir Paul McCartney and his wife are facing divorce and all anyone seems to want to do is make jokes about her false leg. Personally, I think it's prosthetic. News reports have confirmed that Paul McCartney has separated from his wife Heather Mills-McCartney. Mrs Mills-McCartney is said to be distraught over the split. "He has been my crutch for so long"! She said in an earlier briefing, "I have no idea why this has happened, I'm really stumped" "She's running around in circles", according to a close friend, "she will need all the support she can get. It's not like it's easy to walk out on a relationship like this" After his break up with Heather, Paul was asked if he would ever consider going down on one knee again. Paul said he would prefer it if we called her Heather. It is not known whether a pre-nuptial agreement was signed prior to the marriage. Paul McCartney is one of the richest men in the world, and if an agreement has been signed it is believed that she won't have a leg to stand on. Rumours abound over the split which have suggested that infidelity may have been the cause. "She's terrible" a source stated, "always trying to get her leg over". Another source has suggested that her battle with alcoholism was the cause. "Macca couldn't handle it anymore" a friend said, "he would get home at night and find her legless" Many have attributed this to a problem which started with the present that Paul bought her prior to the wedding. He gave her a new prosthetic leg for Christmas but that was just a stocking-filler. A miner in Africa has an accident and loses a leg. He says to his mate "I've had it! Who will want a one-legged gold digger?" His mate says "try Paul McCartney" Finally a poem by Sir Paul McCartney: I lay upon a grassy bank My hands were all a quiver I slowly removed her suspender belt and Her leg fell in the river These jokes are funny but let's spare a thought for Paul please. Now she has left him, he's going to struggle to find another woman who can fill her shoe. So please - Let It Be.	user (1404)
498853	2006-11-15 21:14:00	It's a very sad world we live in when Sir Paul McCartney and his wife are facing divorce and all anyone seems to want to do is make jokes about her false leg. Personally, I think it's prosthetic. News reports have confirmed that Paul McCartney has separated from his wife Heather Mills-McCartney. Mrs Mills-McCartney is said to be distraught over the split. "He has been my crutch for so long"! She said in an earlier briefing, "I have no idea why this has happened, I'm really stumped" "She's running around in circles", according to a close friend, "she will need all the support she can get. It's not like it's easy to walk out on a relationship like this" After his break up with Heather, Paul was asked if he would ever consider going down on one knee again. Paul said he would prefer it if we called her Heather. It is not known whether a pre-nuptial agreement was signed prior to the marriage. Paul McCartney is one of the richest men in the world, and if an agreement has been signed it is believed that she won't have a leg to stand on. Rumours abound over the split which have suggested that infidelity may have been the cause. "She's terrible" a source stated, "always trying to get her leg over". Another source has suggested that her battle with alcoholism was the cause. "Macca couldn't handle it anymore" a friend said, "he would get home at night and find her legless" Many have attributed this to a problem which started with the present that Paul bought her prior to the wedding. He gave her a new prosthetic leg for Christmas but that was just a stocking-filler. A miner in Africa has an accident and loses a leg. He says to his mate "I've had it! Who will want a one-legged gold digger?" His mate says "try Paul McCartney" Finally a poem by Sir Paul McCartney: I lay upon a grassy bank My hands were all a quiver I slowly removed her suspender belt and Her leg fell in the river These jokes are funny but let's spare a thought for Paul please. Now she has left him, he's going to struggle to find another woman who can fill her shoe. So please - Let It Be. BRILLIANT!!!!	johcar (6283)
498854	2006-11-16 02:40:00	It's a very sad world we live in when Sir Paul McCartney and his wife are facing divorce and all anyone seems to want to do is make jokes about her false leg . Personally, I think it's prosthetic . News reports have confirmed that Paul McCartney has separated from his wife Heather Mills-McCartney . Mrs Mills-McCartney is said to be distraught over the split . "He has been my crutch for so long"! She said in an earlier briefing, "I have no idea why this has happened, I'm really stumped" "She's running around in circles", according to a close friend, "she will need all the support she can get . It's not like it's easy to walk out on a relationship like this" After his break up with Heather, Paul was asked if he would ever consider going down on one knee again . Paul said he would prefer it if we called her Heather . It is not known whether a pre-nuptial agreement was signed prior to the marriage . Paul McCartney is one of the richest men in the world, and if an agreement has been signed it is believed that she won't have a leg to stand on . Rumours abound over the split which have suggested that infidelity may have been the cause . "She's terrible" a source stated, "always trying to get her leg over" . Another source has suggested that her battle with alcoholism was the cause . "Macca couldn't handle it anymore" a friend said, "he would get home at night and find her legless" Many have attributed this to a problem which started with the present that Paul bought her prior to the wedding . He gave her a new prosthetic leg for Christmas but that was just a stocking-filler . A miner in Africa has an accident and loses a leg . He says to his mate "I've had it! Who will want a one-legged gold digger?" His mate says "try Paul McCartney" Finally a poem by Sir Paul McCartney: I lay upon a grassy bank My hands were all a quiver I slowly removed her suspender belt and Her leg fell in the river These jokes are funny but let's spare a thought for Paul please . Now she has left him, he's going to struggle to find another woman who can fill her shoe . So please - Let It Be . BRILLIANT!!!! .	roddy_boy (4115)
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