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Thread ID: 74169	2006-11-13 20:16:00	Monday Laughs: Tuesday edition.......	Billy T (70)	PC World Chat

Post ID	Timestamp	Content	User
498836	2006-11-13 20:16:00	Which means I forgot.....again :blush: It's Murphy's fault! Murphy's Lesser-Known Dictums: 1) Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak. 2) He who laughs last, thinks slowest. 3) Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't. 4) Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool. 5) The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong. 6) The things that come to those who wait will be the things left by those who got there first. 7) Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will sit in a boat all day drinking beer. 8) The shin bone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room. 9) A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well. 10) When you go into court, you are putting yourself In the hands of 12 people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury service. Cheers Billy 8-{)	Billy T (70)
498837	2006-11-13 20:42:00	Hah... number 8. That's great. And number 5... What Terry Pratchet says is something like 'everyone knows that a million-to-one works out 9 times out of 10" :)	mejobloggs (264)
498838	2006-11-13 22:06:00	Take heart, anyone among you who believes you are technologically challenged, you "ain't seen nuthin' yet . " These are actual complaints made by computer owners . 1 . Compaq is considering changing the command "Press Any Key" to "Press Return Key" because of the flood of calls asking where the "Any" key is . 2 . AST technical support had a caller complaining that her mouse was hard to control with the dust cover on . The cover turned out to be the plastic bag the mouse was packaged in . 3 . A Dell technician advised his customer to put his troubled floppy back in the drive and close the door . The customer asked the tech to hold on and was heard putting the phone down, getting up and crossing the room to close the door . 4 . Another Dell customer called to say he couldn't get his computer to fax anything . After 40 minutes of troubleshooting, the technician discovered the man was trying to fax a piece of paper by holding it in front of the monitor screen and hitting the "send" key . 5 . Yet another Dell customer called to complain that his keyboard no longer worked . He had cleaned it by filling up his tub with soap and water and soaking the keyboard for a day, then removing all the keys and washing them individually . 6 . A confused caller to IBM was having trouble printing documents . He told the technician that the computer had said it "couldn't find printer" The user had also tried turning the computer screen to face the printer but that his computer still couldn't "see" the printer . 7 . An exasperated caller to Dell Tech Support couldn't get her new Dell Computer to turn on . After ensuring the computer was plugged in, the technician asked her what happened when she pushed the power button . Her response, "I pushed and pushed on this foot pedal and nothing happens . " The "foot pedal" turned out to be the computer's mouse . 8 . A woman called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer . The tech asked her if she was running it under "Windows . " The woman responded, "No, my desk is next to the door . But that is a good point . The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window and his printer is working fine . " :D	smithie 38 (6684)
498839	2006-11-13 23:04:00	He didn't like the casserole And he didn't like my cake. He said my biscuits were too hard... Not like his mother used to make. I didn't perk the coffee right He didn't like the stew, I didn't mend his socks The way his mother used to do. I pondered for an answer I was looking for a clue........... Then I turned around and smacked the **** out of him... Like his mother used to do : )	KiwiTT_NZ (233)
498840	2006-11-14 01:51:00	Oldie but a goodie: A husband and wife were having dinner at a fine restaurant when an absolutely stunning young woman comes over to their table, gives the husband a big kiss, tells him she'll see him later, and walks away. His wife glares at him and says, "Who was that??!!" "Oh," replies the husband, "that was my mistress." The wife says, "That's it; I want a divorce." "I understand," replies her husband, "but remember, if you get a divorce, there will be no more shopping trips to Paris, no wintering in the Caribbean, no Lexus in the garage, and no more country club. But... the decision is yours." Just then the wife notices a mutual friend entering the restaurant with a gorgeous woman on his arm. "Who's that woman with Jim?" she asks. "That's his mistress," replies her husband. "Oh," says the wife, "... Ours is prettier."	johcar (6283)
498841	2006-11-14 02:14:00	1 . Compaq is considering changing the command "Press Any Key" to "Press Return Key" because of the flood of calls asking where the "Any" key is . :D Where exactly is the Return Key ? :D	SKT174 (1319)
498842	2006-11-14 03:08:00	Another solution: make keyboards with a key labeled Any. :D	pcuser42 (130)
498843	2006-11-14 06:14:00	Another solution: make keyboards with a key labeled Any. :D The space bar was supposed to be the any key, but someone for got to label it. That is why it is the only blank key on the keyboard :p	Greven (91)
498844	2006-11-14 09:54:00	Where exactly is the Return Key ? :DBit of a silly question really, the return key is the Enter key, the one with the arrow pointing backwards . Also known as "carriage return" from typewriter days, hence "return key" because it returns the cursor to the left margin and starts a new line . That one fell flat on its face didn't it! Cheers Billy 8-{) :illogical	Billy T (70)
498845	2006-11-14 11:22:00	Where exactly is the Return Key ? :D They had to send it back.:waughh: In a lot of Bios's, if the keyboard was un-plugged, the boot screen said "Keyboard not found. Press F2 to continue." :badpc:	R2x1 (4628)
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