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| Thread ID: 75142 | 2006-12-18 01:09:00 | Monday Laughs: Points to Ponder.......with apolgies to RD | Billy T (70) | PC World Chat |
| Post ID | Timestamp | Content | User | ||
| 507528 | 2006-12-18 01:09:00 | For that Office Xmas party: Things that are difficult to say when you're drunk . a) Innovative b) Preliminary c) Proliferation d) Cinnamon Things that are VERY difficult to say when you're drunk . . a) Specificity b) British Constitution c) Passive-aggressive disorder d) Transubstantiate Things that are DOWNRIGHT IMPOSSIBLE to say when you're drunk . . . a) Thanks, but I don't want to sleep with you . b) Nope, no more drinks for me, I've reached my limit . c) Sorry, but you're not really my type . d) Please take the shooters back, let's have water . e) Good evening officer, isn't it lovely out tonight? f) I'm not interested in fighting you . g) Oh, I just couldn't - no one wants to hear me sing . h) Thank you, but I won't make any attempt to dance, I have zero coordination . I) Where is the nearest toilet? I refuse to throw up in the street . j) I must be going home now as I have work in the morning . k) Look, it would be great to sleep with you, but I hardly know you and we will only feel really embarrassed and awkward when we wake up in the morning . l) That guy is looking at my girlfriend, but I am sure it's just because he knows her or something . m) That chair looks wobbly and dangerous and I certainly wouldn't try balancing on it with this short skirt on in case I fell off . n) I must get home to my bed, I could never have a really good sleep in that hedge . And for the fitness types who prefer sport to alcohol: 1 The sport of choice for the urban poor is BASKETBALL 2 The sport of choice for maintenance level employees is BOWLING 3 The sport of choice for front-line workers is FOOTBALL 4 The sport of choice for supervisors is BASEBALL 5 The sport of choice for middle management is TENNIS and . . . . . . . . 6 The sport of choice for corporate executives and officers is GOLF . THE CONCLUSION: The higher you go in the corporate structure, the smaller your balls become . Cheers Billy 8-{) :thumbs: Hmmm . . . . . Edit doesn't allow you to correct spelling errors in the post header! Apologies for that too . |
Billy T (70) | ||
| 507529 | 2006-12-18 01:35:00 | Who's RD? | pcuser42 (130) | ||
| 507530 | 2006-12-18 01:43:00 | A man in a hot air balloon realized he was lost . He reduced altitude and spotted a woman below . He descended a bit more and shouted, "Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don't know where I am . " The woman below replied, "You're in a hot air balloon hovering approximately 30 feet above the ground . You're between 40 and 41 degrees north latitude and between 59 and 60 degrees west longitude . " "You must be in Information Technology," said the balloonist . "I am," replied the woman, "How did you know?" "Well," answered the balloonist, "everything you told me is, technically correct, but I've no idea what to make of your information, and the fact is I'm still lost . Frankly, you've not been much help at all . If anything, you've delayed my trip . " The woman below responded, "You must be in Management . " "I am," replied the balloonist, "but how did you know?" "Well," said the woman, "you don't know where you are or where you're going . You have risen to where you are, due to a large quantity of hot air . You made a promise, which you've no idea how to keep, and you expect people beneath you to solve your problems . The fact is you are in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but now, somehow, it's my fault . " :D |
smithie 38 (6684) | ||
| 507531 | 2006-12-18 03:37:00 | Who's RD? I could tell you, but then I'd have to kill you. Wait a while and one of our senior members will recognise it and tell you the answer. Cheers Billy 8-{) :nerd: |
Billy T (70) | ||
| 507532 | 2006-12-18 04:50:00 | Readers Digest. Trevor :) |
Trev (427) | ||
| 507533 | 2006-12-18 05:09:00 | A man in a hot air balloon realized he was lost . He reduced altitude and spotted a woman below . He descended a bit more and shouted, "Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don't know where I am . " The woman below replied, "You're in a hot air balloon hovering approximately 30 feet above the ground . You're between 40 and 41 degrees north latitude and between 59 and 60 degrees west longitude . " "You must be in Information Technology," said the balloonist . "I am," replied the woman, "How did you know?" "Well," answered the balloonist, "everything you told me is, technically correct, but I've no idea what to make of your information, and the fact is I'm still lost . Frankly, you've not been much help at all . If anything, you've delayed my trip . " The woman below responded, "You must be in Management . " "I am," replied the balloonist, "but how did you know?" "Well," said the woman, "you don't know where you are or where you're going . You have risen to where you are, due to a large quantity of hot air . You made a promise, which you've no idea how to keep, and you expect people beneath you to solve your problems . The fact is you are in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but now, somehow, it's my fault . " :D I love it . . . I love it . . . Give that man a tuatara . (My highest rank of praise) |
Laura (43) | ||
| 507534 | 2006-12-18 05:13:00 | very funny, I like it....except I like Golf :) | bigDippa (11632) | ||
| 507535 | 2006-12-18 06:31:00 | Readers Digest. Trevor :) Okay then.:blush: |
pcuser42 (130) | ||
| 507536 | 2006-12-18 07:34:00 | Readers Digest. Trevor :)Give that elderly gent a cigar! ;) Cheers Billy 8-{) :thumbs: |
Billy T (70) | ||
| 507537 | 2006-12-18 07:40:00 | Thanks . I'm not that elderly . :rolleyes: Trevor :) |
Trev (427) | ||
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