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Thread ID: 143589	2017-02-20 23:49:00	Some jokes for all you peeps to add to	kenj (9738)	PC World Chat

Post ID	Timestamp	Content	User
1432114	2017-02-20 23:49:00	LEXOPHILIA - WHO ON EARTH DREAMS THESE UP? Venison for dinner again? Oh deer! How does Moses make tea? Hebrews it. England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool. I tried to catch some fog, but I mist. They told me I had type-A blood, but it was a typo. I changed my iPod's name to Titanic. It's syncing now. Jokes about German sausage are the wurst. I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid, but he says he can stop any time. I stayed up all night to see where the sun went, and then it dawned on me. This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore. When chemists die, they barium. I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can't put it down. I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words. Why were the Indians here first? They had reservations. I didn't like my beard at first. Then it grew on me. Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils? When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble. Broken pencils are pointless. What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus. I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx. I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough. Velcro - what a rip off! Don’t worry about old age; it doesn’t last. +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ My wife and I decided to go on an organised trip to Afghanistan, to see for ourselves what the place was like. It didn't start well as the train we were travelling on broke down just a few miles south of the station. We found ourselves stranded in a scary hell hole where no one around us spoke any English. The train, and surrounding streets, were full of Muslims; angry bearded types glared at us, the wife stood out in her brightly coloured sun-dress, as all the local women were draped in black, head to toe with burqas. We were extremely scared and convinced that we were in deep trouble Just then, Jim our group leader ushered us off the train and round the corner from Hounslow Station to the bus terminal, where we continued our journey safely to Heathrow Airport Ken :)	kenj (9738)
1432115	2017-02-21 00:40:00	Thanks for that Ken. Now I know what lexophilia means. You've brightened up my afternoon.	Roscoe (6288)
1432116	2017-02-21 01:23:00	Thanks Ken. A little spark of sunlight in my dreary day.	tut (12033)
1432117	2017-02-21 08:15:00	What is the difference between a Harley Davidson and a Hoover? The position of the dirt bag.	tutaenui (1724)
1432118	2017-02-21 23:27:00	A man drives deep into the forest to get rid of his cat. He lets her out at an abandoned place. After one hour he gets a phone call from his wife: “The cat is back.” The man growls: “Ok, can you put her on, I got lost and need directions.” Two neighbors meet: "Your cat killed my Pitbull." - "No way, that is impossible." - "Yes, he choked on her." A Chinese student is looking for an inexpensive room to rent. He finds one, but the owner warns him, “Yes, you can have the room. But we have a dog and two cats. I hope you like them.” “No problem,” beams the student, “I’m happy to eat anything!”	pctek (84)
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