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Thread ID: 76314	2007-01-28 19:40:00	Monday Laughs: The road to a Presidential election.......	Billy T (70)	PC World Chat

Post ID	Timestamp	Content	User
520001	2007-01-28 19:40:00	An old country preacher had a teenage son, and it was getting time the boy should give some thought to choosing a profession. Like many young men, the boy didn't really know what he wanted to do and he didn't seem too concerned about it. One day, while the boy was away at school, his father decided to try an experiment. He went into the boy's room and placed on his study table three objects: a Bible, a silver dollar, and a bottle of whisky. "I'll just hide behind the door," the old preacher said to himself, "and when he comes home from school this afternoon, I'll see which object he picks up. If it's the Bible, he's going to be a preacher like me and what a blessing that would be! If he picks up the dollar, he's going to be a businessman and that would be okay, too. But if he picks up the bottle, he's going to be a no-good drunkard and Lord, what a shame that would be." The old man waited anxiously, and soon heard his son's footsteps as he entered the house whistling and headed for his room. He tossed his books on the bed and as he turned to leave the room he spotted the objects on the table. With curiosity in his eye, he walked over to inspect them. Finally, he picked up the Bible and placed it under his arm. He picked up the silver dollar and dropped it into his pocket. He uncorked the bottle and took a big drink. "Lord have mercy," the old man whispered, "he's gonna be a Congressman." Cheers Billy 8-{)	Billy T (70)
520002	2007-01-28 20:15:00	On the 2nd tee of the golf course with his wife, the husband says, "Twenty years ago I had a brief affair, it meant nothing. I hope you can forgive me." His wife was hurt, but said, "Dearest, those days are long gone. What we have now is far more valuable. I forgive you." They embraced and kissed. On the 17th tee, the husband was starting his back swing when the wife blurted out, "I'm sorry darling, I've been so conscience-stricken since you told me of your affair. Since we're being honest with each other, I have something to tell you also. Thirty-two years ago I had a sex change operation, I was a man before I met you. I hope you can forgive me" The husband froze at the top of his back swing, and then threw a fit! He slammed the driver into the ground, kicked the ball into the woods, stormed off the tee, pushed the golf cart over on its side, broke the rest of his clubs one by one, then started on hers. He screamed and ranted, "You liar! You cheat! You despicable deceiver! How could you? I trusted you with all my heart and soul...and all these years you've been playing off the ladies tees!" :D	smithie 38 (6684)
520003	2007-01-29 19:46:00	Special edition Tuesday Laughs for Auckland Anniversary Day sufferers . . . . . . . . . The Auckland Blues manager sends scouts out round the world looking for a new talent to hopefully win them the Super 14 . One scout informs him of a talented young Iraqi winger . The coach flies to Iraq to watch him, is suitably impressed and arranges for him to come over to play for the Blues . Two weeks later, the Blues are 30-0 down at home to the Crusaders with only 20 minutes left . The coach gives the young Iraqi winger the nod to go on . The lad is a sensation, scores 6 tries in 20 minutes, converts them all with his boot and wins the game for the Blues 42-30 . When he comes off the field he phones his Mum to tell her about his first day playing rugby for the Blues . "Hi Mum, guess what?" he says . "I played for 20 minutes today, we were 30-0 down, but I scored 6 unanswered tries and we won . Everybody loves me, the fans, the players and the media, they all love me" . "Great," says his Mum, "now let me tell you about our day . Your father got shot in the street, your sister and I were attacked and beaten, and your brother has joined a gang of looters, all while you were having a great time . " The young lad is very upset . "What can I say Mum, I'm so sorry . " "Sorry?!" says his Mum, "it's your fault that we moved to South Auckland in the first place!" Cheers Billy 8-{) ;)	Billy T (70)
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