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| Thread ID: 76549 | 2007-02-04 20:38:00 | Monday Laughs: ..............Waitangi Day cometh, time for a religious joke........ | Billy T (70) | PC World Chat |
| Post ID | Timestamp | Content | User | ||
| 522704 | 2007-02-05 04:02:00 | True, I have lead a very sheltered life.....:stare:*Cough* Sheltered life? You? Metla? *Choke...Gasp* I suppose it is possible that parts of you may have led a very sheltered life Metla, and no doubt such parts were only removed from their protective wrapping when needed and put away again as soon as finished with. Assuming of course that you never made the acquaintance of your local Rabbi? Cheers Billy 8-{) :p |
Billy T (70) | ||
| 522705 | 2007-02-05 04:15:00 | Sticking religiously to the theme........... A Jewish Rabbi and a Catholic Priest met at the town's annual 4th of July picnic. Old friends, they began their usual banter. "This baked ham is really delicious," the Priest teased the Rabbi."You really ought try it. I know it's against your religion, but I can't understand why such a wonderful food should be forbidden! You don't know what you're missing. You just haven't lived until you've tried Mrs. Hall's prized Virginia Baked Ham. Tell me, Rabbi, when are you going to break down and try it?" The Rabbi looked at the Priest with a big grin, and said, "At your wedding." Cheers Billy 8-{) |
Billy T (70) | ||
| 522706 | 2007-02-05 04:36:00 | The new Priest The new priest is nervous about hearing confessions, so he asks an older priest to sit in on his sessions. The new priest hears a couple confessions, then the old priest asks him to step out of the confessional for a few suggestions. The old priest suggests, "Cross you arms over your chest and rub your chin with one hand." The new priest tries this. The old priest suggests, "Try saying things like, 'I see,' 'yes,' 'go on,' 'I understand,' and 'how did you feel about that?'" The new priest says those things, trying them out. The old priest says, "Now, don't you think that's a little better than slapping your knee and saying 'No s**t! What happened next?'" |
smithie 38 (6684) | ||
| 522707 | 2007-02-05 10:58:00 | LOL:lol: | motorbyclist (188) | ||
| 522708 | 2007-02-05 22:54:00 | The new priest at his first mass was so afraid, he could hardly talk. Before his second week at the pulpit, he asked the monsignor how he could relax. The monsignor said, next week, it might help if you put martinis in your water pitcher. The next week the young priest put his elder's suggestion into practice and really talked up a storm. After the sermon, he asked the monsignor how he did. The monsignor replied, "Fine, but there are a few things you should learn before you address the congregation again." 1. Next time, sip the martinis rather than downing them glassful by glassful. 2. There are 10 commandments, not 12. 3. There are 12 disciples, not 10. 4. David slew Golaith, he didn't "Kick the **** out of him." 5. We do not refer to Our Saviour, Jesus Christ, and his disciples and J.C. and the boys. 6. Next Sunday there is a taffy pulling contest at St. Peters, not a Peter pulling contest at St. Taffys. 7. We do not refer to the Cross as "The Big T." 8. The Father, Son, and the Holy Ghost are not referred to as, "Daddy, Junior and Spook." 9. Please! It is the Virgin Mary, not Mary with the cherry. 10. Jacob wagered his donkey, he did not bet his ass. 11. Jesus was consecrated, not constipated. 12. When Joseph was hit by a rock and knocked off his donkey, don't say he was "stoned off his ass." 13. And last but not least, when you leave the altar, walk down the steps, don't slide down the rail. |
Sweep (90) | ||
| 522709 | 2007-02-06 21:14:00 | And now for something completely different. www.oddcast.com Why won't this turn into a thingy? |
Cicero (40) | ||
| 522710 | 2007-02-07 23:04:00 | Muldoon lived alone in the Irish countryside with only a pet dog for company. One day the dog died, and Muldoon went to the parish priest and asked, "Father, my dog is dead. Could ya' be saying' a mass for the poor creature?" Father Patrick replied, "I'm afraid not; we cannot have services for an animal in the church. But there are some Baptists down the lane, and there's no tellin' what they believe. Maybe they'll do something for the creature." Muldoon said, "I'll go right away Father. Do ya 'think $5,000 is enough to donate to them for the service?" Father Patrick exclaimed, "Sweet Mary, Mother of Jesus! Why didn't ya tell me the dog was Catholic? |
Marnie (4574) | ||
| 522711 | 2007-02-08 12:21:00 | Sweep, thats marvellous! | Chilling_Silence (9) | ||
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