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| Thread ID: 76684 | 2007-02-12 03:05:00 | Monday Laughs: The Blondes get it again.............. | Billy T (70) | PC World Chat |
| Post ID | Timestamp | Content | User | ||
| 524115 | 2007-02-12 03:05:00 | A blonde was wanting to earn some extra money so she decided to hire herself out as a "handywoman" and started canvassing a nearby well-to-do neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house, and asked the owner if he had any odd jobs for her to do. Well, I guess I could use somebody to paint my porch," he said, "How much will you charge me?" The blonde quickly responded, "How about $50?" The man agreed and told her that the paint and everything she would need was in the garage. The man's wife, hearing the conversation, said to her husband, "Does she realize that our porch goes all the way around the house?" He responded, "That's a bit cynical, isn't it?" The wife replied, "You're right. I guess I'm starting to believe all those 'dumb blonde' jokes we've been getting by e-mail lately." A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money. "You¹re finished already?" the husband asked. "Yes," the blonde replied, "and I had paint leftover, so I gave it two coats. Impressed, the man reached into his pocket for the $50 and handed it to her. "And by the way," the blonde added, "it's not a Porch, it's a Lexus". Cheers Billy 8-{) |
Billy T (70) | ||
| 524116 | 2007-02-12 03:12:00 | LOL :lol: | pcuser42 (130) | ||
| 524117 | 2007-02-12 03:47:00 | The local sheriff was looking for a deputy, so a blonde went in to try out for the job. "Okay," the sheriff drawled, "what is 1 and 1?" "Eleven," she replied. The sheriff thought to himself, "That's not what I meant, but she's right." "What two days of the week start with the letter 'T'?" "Today and tomorrow." He was again surprised that the blonde supplied a correct answer that he had never thought of himself. "Now, listen carefully: Who killed Abraham Lincoln?" The blonde looked a little surprised herself, then thought really hard for a minute and finally admitted, "I don't know." "Well, why don't you go home and work on that one for a while?" So, the blonde wandered over to the beauty parlor, where her pals were waiting to hear the results of the interview. The blonde was exultant. "It went great! First day on the job and I'm already working on a murder case!" :D |
smithie 38 (6684) | ||
| 524118 | 2007-02-12 23:23:00 | Blondes on a Bus Ride - Blonde Bowling Team Two bowling teams, one of all Blondes and one of all Brunettes, charter a double-decker bus for a weekend gambling trip to Sky City, Auckland . The Brunette team rode on the bottom of the bus, and the Blonde team rode on the top-level. The Brunette team down below really whooped it up, having a great time, when one of them realized she hadn't heard anything from the Blondes upstairs. She decided to go up and investigate. When the Brunette reached the top, she found all the Blondes in fear, staring straight ahead at the road, clutching the seats in front of them with white knuckles. The brunette asked, "What the heck's going on up here? We're having a great time downstairs!" One of the Blondes looked up at her, swallowed hard and whispered... "YEAH, BUT YOU'VE GOT A DRIVER!" |
johcar (6283) | ||
| 524119 | 2007-02-13 01:47:00 | A blind guy on a bar stool shouts to the bartender, "Wanna hear a blonde joke?" In a hushed voice, the guy next to him says, "Before you tell that joke, you should know something . Our bartender is blond and the bouncer is blond . I'm a 6' tall, 200-pound black belt veteran of the Special Forces . The guy sitting next to me is 6' 2", weighs 225 and he's a rugby player . The fella to your right is 6' 5", pushing 300 pounds and he's a wrestler . Each one of us is blond . Think about it, mister . You still wanna tell that joke?" The blind guy thinks for a moment and replies, "Nah, not if I'm going to have to explain it five times . " ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A blonde and a lawyer are seated next to each other on a flight from LA to NY . The lawyer asks if she would like to play a fun game? The blonde, tired, just wants to take a nap, politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks . The lawyer persists and explains that the game is easy and a lot of fun . He explains, "I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me $5 . 00, and vise versa . " Again, she declines and tries to get some sleep . The lawyer, now agitated, says, "Okay, if you don't know the answer you pay me $5 . 00, and if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $500 . 00 . " This catches the blonde's attention and, figuring there will be no end to this torment unless she plays, agrees to the game . The lawyer asks the first question . "What's the distance from the earth to the moon?" The blonde doesn't say a word, reaches into her purse, pulls out a $5 . 00 bill and hands it to the lawyer . Okay says the lawyer, your turn . She asks the lawyer, "What goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four legs?" The lawyer, puzzled, takes out his laptop computer and searches all his references, no answer . He taps into the air phone with his modem and searches the net and the library of congress, no answer . Frustrated, he sends Emails to all his friends and coworkers, to no avail . After an hour, he wakes the blonde, and hands her $500 . 00 . The blonde says, "Thank you," and turns back to get some more sleep . The lawyer, who is more than a little miffed, wakes the blonde and asks, "Well, what's the answer?" Without a word, the blonde reaches into her purse, hands the lawyer $5 . 00, and goes back to sleep . |
pctek (84) | ||
| 524120 | 2007-02-13 01:49:00 | LOL :) Hilarious! | wellyg33k (11804) | ||
| 524121 | 2007-02-13 07:37:00 | Two blondes on either side of a river. One yells to the other "How do I get to the other side?" The other one looks up and down the river on her side and calls back: "You ARE on the other side." |
TideMan (4279) | ||
| 524122 | 2007-02-13 08:42:00 | A blonde is driving past a paddock one day, and notices another blonde, rowing through the paddock. The one driving sticks her head out the window, and yells "It's blondes like you the give us a bad name, if I wasnt in a hurry, i would swim out there and beat you up!" :) |
Dannz (1668) | ||
| 524123 | 2007-02-14 09:01:00 | Two blondes were walking through the forest when they came across a set of tracks. One blonde reckoned they were deer tracks & the other blonde reckoned goat tracks.They were busy arguing half an hour later when the train ran them over. | Whenu (9358) | ||
| 524124 | 2007-02-14 10:26:00 | A bit late in the week . . . but have only just heard this one: The very first ever Blonde GUY joke . . . . An Irishman, a Mexican and a Blonde Guy were doing construction work on scaffolding on the 20th floor of a building . They were eating lunch and the Irishman said,"Corned beef and cabbage! If I get corned beef and cabbage one more time for lunch, I'm going to jump off this building . " The Mexican opened his lunch box and exclaimed,"Burritos again! If I get burritos one more time I'm going to jump off, too . " The blonde opened his lunch and said, " Devon again! If I get a Devon sandwich one more time, I'm jumping too . " The next day, the Irishman opened his lunch box, saw corned beef and cabbage, and jumped to his death . The Mexican opened his lunch, saw a burrito, and jumped, too The blonde guy opened his lunch, saw the Devon and jumped to his death as well . At the funeral, the Irishman's wife was weeping . She said, "If I'd known how really tired he was of corned beef and cabbage, I never would have given it to him again!" The Mexican's wife also wept and said, "I could have given him tacos or enchiladas! I didn't realize he hated burritos so much . " (Oh this is GOOD!!) Everyone turned and stared at the blonde's wife . The blonde's wife said, "Don't look at me . He makes his own lunch |
Marnie (4574) | ||
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