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Thread ID: 77494	2007-03-11 21:36:00	Monday Laughs: US drivers..............	Billy T (70)	PC World Chat

Post ID	Timestamp	Content	User
532184	2007-03-11 21:36:00	A Florida senior citizen drove his brand new Corvette convertible out of the dealership . Taking off down the road, he accelerated to 60 mph, enjoying the wind blowing through what little hair he had left . "Amazing!" he thought, so he turned onto the I-95 and took it up to 90 mph . A mile or so further on, he suddenly saw the highway patrol coming up behind him, blue lights flashing and siren blaring . "I can get away from him . No problem!" thought the elderly nutcase, and he took the Corvette up to 100 mph, then 110, then 120 mph! Then suddenly, he thought: "What on earth am I doing? I'm too old for this nonsense," so he pulled over to the side of the road and waited for the Trooper to catch up with him . Pulling in behind him, the Trooper walked up to the driver's side of the Corvette, looked at his watch and said, "Sir, my shift ends in 30 minutes . Today is Friday . If you can give me a reason why you were speeding that I've never heard before, I'll let you go . " The man, looking very seriously at the Trooper, said, "Years ago, my wife ran off with a Florida State Trooper . I thought you were bringing her back!" "Have a good day, Sir," said the Trooper . ******************************************* The cop got out of his car and walked back to the vehicle he had just stopped . The kid who was stopped for speeding rolled down his window and waited for him to speak . "I've been waiting for you all day," the cop said . The kid replied, "Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could . " When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a ticket . Thought for the Day; Our days are happier when we give people a bit of our heart rather than a piece of our mind . Cheers Billy 8-{)	Billy T (70)
532185	2007-03-11 22:44:00	"...........Thought for the Day; Our days are happier when we give people a bit of our heart rather than a piece of our mind. Cheers Billy 8-{)" ..or 1/5th of a hand wave........:xmouth:	SurferJoe46 (51)
532186	2007-03-11 23:10:00	1/5th of a hand wave, heh, that cracked me up	mejobloggs (264)
532187	2007-03-11 23:18:00	1/5th of a hand wave, heh, that cracked me up I dont get it... :waughh:	Dannz (1668)
532188	2007-03-11 23:27:00	I dont get it... :waughh: Vertical middle digit... Gettit?	John H (8)
532189	2007-03-12 00:57:00	A Japanese company and an American company decided to have a canoe race on the Missouri River . Both teams practiced long and hard to reach their peak performance before the race . On the big day the Japanese won by a mile . Afterward, the American team was very discouraged and morally depressed . The American management decided the reason for the crushing defeat had to be found . A Management Team made up of senior management was formed to investigate and recommend appropriate action . Their conclusion was the Japanese had 8 people rowing and 1 person steering, while the American team had 8 people steering and one person rowing . So American management hired a consulting company and paid them an incredible amount of money . They advised that too many people were steering the boat, while not enough people were rowing . To prevent losing to the Japanese again next year, the American rowing team's management structure was totally reorganized to 4 steering supervisors, 3 area steering superintendents and 1 assistant superintendent steering manager . They also implemented a new performance system that would give the 1 person rowing the boat greater incentive to work harder . It was called the Rowing Team Quality First Program, with meetings, dinners and free pens for the rower . Even new paddles and medical benefit incentives were promised for a winner . It was said “we must give the rower the empowerment and enrichments through this quality program . " The next year the Japanese won by two miles . Humiliated, the American management laid off the rower for poor performance, halted development of a new canoe, sold the paddles, and canceled all capital investments for new equipment . The money saved was distributed to the senior management as bonuses .	smithie 38 (6684)
532190	2007-03-12 02:47:00	Vertical middle digit... Gettit? Oh right... never would have got that..... :stare:	Dannz (1668)
532191	2007-03-12 03:16:00	The difference then between you and me is that I have the same dirty mind as SJ46, and you don't :D	John H (8)
532192	2007-03-12 03:37:00	A Japanese company and an American company decided to have a canoe race on the Missouri River . Why is this in the jokes thread? Seems to me to be standard Western Company poilcy and management techniques .	pctek (84)
532193	2007-03-12 03:42:00	Why is this in the jokes thread? Seems to me to be standard Western Company poilcy and management techniques. I resemble that!	John H (8)
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