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Thread ID: 77736 2007-03-20 12:08:00 Auckland Driver's Handbook motorbyclist (188) PC World Chat
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534577 2007-03-20 12:08:00 Something i got in my email, thought it was worth a mention:lol:

Transit New Zealand's new 2007 Auckland Driver's Handbook
for survival in the City of Auckland reads :----

1 . Turn signals are a "Give away" of your next move . Confident Auckland
drivers avoid using them .

2 . Under no circumstance should you maintain a safe distance between you
and
the car in front of you, because the space will be filled in by somebody
else, putting you in an even more dangerous situation .

3 . The faster you drive through a red light, the less of a chance you have
of getting hit .

4 . Warning! Never come to a complete stop at a stop sign . No one
expects, it
and it will result in your being rear-ended .

5 . Never get in the way of an older car that needs extensive bodywork,
especially with Otara or Manukau plates . They have no insurance, so the
other operator has nothing to lose .

6 . Braking is to be done as hard and late as possible to ensure that the
brake pedal violently pulsates . For those of you without ABS, it's a
chance
to strengthen your leg muscles .

7 . Never pass on the right when you can pass on the left . It's a good
way to
prepare other drivers for cars entering the motorway from an on-ramp .

8 . Speed limits are arbitrary figures; given only as a suggestion ,and are
neither reachable nor enforceable in Auckland's rush hour .

9 . Just because you're in the right lane and have no room to speed up or
move
over doesn't mean that an Auckland driver flashing his high beams behind
you
doesn't think he can go faster in your spot .

10 . Always brake and rubberneck when you see an accident or even someone
changing a tire . This is seen as a sign of respect for the victim .

11 . Learn to swerve abruptly without signaling . Auckland is the home of
high-speed slalom-driving . . . thanks to Transit New Zealand, which
puts pot-holes in key locations to test drivers' reflexes and keep them
alert .

12 . It is tradition in Auckland to honk your horn at cars in front of you
that do not move within three milliseconds of the light turning green .

13 . To avoid injury in the event of a collision or rollover, it is
important
to exit your vehicle through the windshield right away . Wearing your
seat
belt will only impede your escape from danger .

14 . Remember that the goal of every Auckland driver is to get ahead of the
pack by whatever means necessary .

15 . In Auckland, "Giving the Fingers" is considered a polite salute,
especially to
South Islanders and other strange people . This gesture should always be
returned .

Thank You 		motorbyclist (188)
534578 2007-03-20 12:23:00 :D :lol: :lol: :D
I like it!!!
It's also very true too :eek: 		Sherman (9181)
534579 2007-03-20 12:39:00 actually it's pretty bang on

just they forgot that indicating also gives other drivers the oppurtunity to cut you off 		motorbyclist (188)
534580 2007-03-20 13:03:00 North Shore motorists use their indicators annually, or twice a year for older cars. That is at the warrant of fitness checks.
If you see a North Shore car with the indicator active on the road, it means the indicator works. If you see a driver giving a hand signal, it means the window is either open or clean.
Vehicle spacing is a variable figure here. On motorways around 50 mm seems to be what they are aiming for. Leaving a traffic light, 50 Metres seems to be the distance the car in front has to have moved before stopping the horn blowing and getting the car moving.
A car with rapidly flashing red lights on a straight flat road means Mrs Singh is driving ahead of you and her stop lights still work. 		R2x1 (4628)
534581 2007-03-20 19:10:00 We have about the same rules in Hemet/San Jacinto:


Driving Rules For Hemet/San Jacinto

1) Never signal your turns until you have actually started to turn . It keeps people guessing what way you are going to go and blocking you from whatever you want to do .

2) Leave the left turn signal on at all times; you WILL eventually make a turn in that direction anyway and you will be ready .

3) If the green color in the traffic signal isn't your favorite, wait to see if it'll turn to a hue you like better .

4) Drive as close to the curb as possible to help the maintenance department remove nails, screws and broken glass from the streets .

5) A traffic signal that turns yellow might not turn red so it is OK to speed thru the intersection until you actually see a red light, at which time only six more vehicles may pass thru it .

6) Speed limit signs are for pedestrians and bicyclists; they are nearer to the actual signs and can read them better .

7) If there is nobody stopped at a four-way intersection and there is a stop sign on your side, you don't have to stop if no-one else is looking .

8) Adjust the headlamp nearest opposing traffic so it blinds other drivers even on low beam .

9) Remove all the stop light bulbs from your vehicle so it will look like every other car on the road .

10) Never wear your seatbelts because when your car turns upside down, you want to be able to get out rapidly when it goes on fire .

11) Keep all your stuffed animals on your dashboard; they like to see where they are going and can help your driving skills considerably .

12) Have your windows tinted very dark so that nobody can see if there's a driver in your car or not or if the driver is armed and still wearing a ski mask from the bank robbery .

13) Stop signs are just a suggestion .

14) Yield signs are for other people . Remember: "He who hesitates is lost" .

15) Always turn in front of a vehicle that is traveling at the speed limit and slow down to help him learn to go slower .

16) "Cone-Zone" speed limits of 25 MPH are for construction vehicles, and don't apply to passenger cars . Road workers need to learn to be careful when they work .

17) When another driver has an opportunity to pass you, speed up so they can't do it and that way you'll have them captive and you can then slow down in areas where they cannot legally pass you .

18) Edge a little to the right of center of you lane so people cannot get past you on the right and that way you won't allow them to get to the intersection to make their legal turn .

19) Allow your cute dog to ride in your lap as you drive, after all he likes to be in control too . Infants and small children also like to do this and it will be good for their future driver skills if they survive . Have them wave at the friendly police officers . If you are worried about their safety, you can include them in your seatbelt too, if you actually wear one .

20) Driving in the center divider from one intersection to the next is OK if you are really going to make a left turn from there eventually .

21) Double-double yellow lines are for control of pedestrians and are not observed by vehicles . If the authorities really wanted you to stay out of them, they'd put up walls instead of silly yellow paint .

22) Backing up in an intersection is OK if you find you are stranded in the intersection after the light turns red . The cars behind you will just have to back up too .

23) Sit low in the seat, look through the spokes of the steering wheel and you'll be like every other driver in town . All drivers should see of you is: Blue hair and knuckles .

24) The "Drive Thru" part of a McDonalds, is NOT actually THROUGH the building, but around the outside . 		SurferJoe46 (51)
534582 2007-03-20 20:40:00 2. Under no circumstance should you maintain a safe distance between you
and
the car in front of you, because the space will be filled in by somebody
else, putting you in an even more dangerous situation.


This is not the Auckland manual. Its the whole of NZ manual. Except for the one above which is actually true in Auckland.

I used to have a 1966 Rover and always kept a decent distance from the car in front - the thing weighed tons and if I had to brake suddenly chances are with 1966 brake design I would have continued on right through them.

So....what would happen was I'd get on the motorway and every man and his dog pulled into the space in front of me. Used to take twice as long as normal to get anywhere.:( 		pctek (84)
534583 2007-03-20 22:06:00 #5...

Otara is part of Manukau City you dip stick. And it's the suburb of Manurewa you should be worried about. 		bob_doe_nz (92)
534584 2007-03-20 22:42:00 #5...

Otara is part of Manukau City you dip stick. And it's the suburb of Manurewa you should be worried about.
Otara tends to have parts from all over the place Available real cheap. 		R2x1 (4628)
534585 2007-03-20 23:09:00 #5...

Otara is part of Manukau City you dip stick. And it's the suburb of Manurewa you should be worried about.
Id be more worried about Clendon, Otara, Mangere, and parts of Weymouth. Manurewa is mainly full of retirees, although the bottle store on every corner would suggest otherwise. 		Pete O'Neil (6584)
534586 2007-03-21 00:01:00 #5...

Otara is part of Manukau City you dip stick. And it's the suburb of Manurewa you should be worried about.A bit hard in New Zealand to identify the origin of a car based on it's number plates too!! 		johcar (6283)
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