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Thread ID: 77866	2007-03-26 02:40:00	Monday Laughs: What's in a name?..............	Billy T (70)	PC World Chat

Post ID	Timestamp	Content	User
535833	2007-03-26 02:40:00	A good-looking man walked into an agent's office in Hollywood and said: "I want to be a movie star . " Tall, handsome and with experience on Broadway, he had all the right credentials . The agent asked, "What's your name?" The man said, "My name is Peenis van Lesbyan . " The agent said: "Sir, I hate to have to tell you, but in order to get into Hollywood, you are going to have to change your name . " The man replied; "I will NOT change my name! The van Lesbyan name is centuries old, I will not disrespect my heritage by changing my name . Not ever . " The agent said, "Sir, I have worked in Hollywood for years . . . . and you will NEVER go anywhere in Hollywood with a name like Peenis van Lesbyan! I'm telling you, you will HAVE to change your name or I will not be able to represent you . " "So be it! I guess we will not do business together" the man said and left the agent's office . FIVE YEARS LATER . . . . . The agent opens an envelope sent to his office . Inside the envelope is a letter and a check for $500,000 . The agent is awe-struck, who could possibly send him $500,000? He reads the letter enclosed . "Dear Sir, Five years ago, I came into your office wanting to become an actor in Hollywood, you told me I needed to change my name . Determined to make it with my God-given birth name, I refused . You told me I would never make it in Hollywood with a name like Peenis van Lesbyan . After I left your office, I thought about what you said and I decided you were right, I had to change my name . I had too much pride to return to your office, so I signed with another agent and have become very successful . I freely acknowledge that I would never have achieved such success without changing my name, so the enclosed check is a token of my appreciation . Thank you for your advice . " Sincerely, Dick van Dyke Cheers Billy 8-{) :)	Billy T (70)
535834	2007-03-26 11:53:00	Wot?? Nobody got any jokes this week? Try this one for size then: New Zealand Oil Shortage: A lot of folks can't understand how we came to have an oil shortage here in New Zealand . Well, there's a very simple answer . Nobody bothered to check the oil, so we just didn't know we were getting low . The reason for that oversight is purely geographical . Our OIL TANKS are in Auckland, Our REFINERY is in Northland, Our OIL WELLS are located in Taranaki . . . And our DIPSTICKS are all in WELLINGTON . Cheers Billy 8-{) :p	Billy T (70)
535835	2007-03-26 12:16:00	:D :D	R2x1 (4628)
535836	2007-03-26 12:31:00	But, Wellington being lower than Auckland, shouldn't it show a surplus? Ha! Bob M.	BobM (1138)
535837	2007-03-26 20:19:00	A driver is stuck in a traffic jam on the motorway . Nothing is moving . Suddenly a man knocks on the window . The driver rolls down his window and asks, "What happened?" "Terrorists kidnapped Helen Clark and are asking for a $10million ransom . Otherwise they are going to douse her with petrol and set her on fire . We are going from car to car to take up a collection . " The driver asks, "How much is everyone giving on average?" "About a litre!"	Cicero (40)
535838	2007-03-26 21:49:00	haha legend! :D	MAC_H8ER (5897)
535839	2007-03-26 23:38:00	heres a joke for you (www.youtube.com), although not for those of you on dialup	Morgenmuffel (187)
535840	2007-03-30 00:33:00	Gentle thoughts for today . . . . . an oldie worth recycling: A penny saved is a government oversight . The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing at the right time, but also to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment . The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because by then your body and your fat have gotten to be really good friends . The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement . He who hesitates is probably right . Did you ever notice: The Roman Numerals for forty (40) are " XL . " If you think there is good in everybody, you haven't met everybody . If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame . The sole purpose of a child's middle name is so he can tell when he's really in trouble . There's always a lot to be thankful for if you take time to look for it . For example I am sitting here right now thinking how nice it is that wrinkles don't hurt Cheers Billy 8-{) :)	Billy T (70)
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