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| Thread ID: 78000 | 2007-03-30 09:16:00 | Good one liners needed. | John W (523) | PC World Chat |
| Post ID | Timestamp | Content | User | ||
| 536998 | 2007-03-30 11:53:00 | Here we go, there's the computer. Your so godly, you can fix it yourself. No? Then shaddup and let me get on with my work!:xmouth: |
bob_doe_nz (92) | ||
| 536999 | 2007-03-30 22:19:00 | "Who was that lady I saw you with last night" "That was no lady, that was my wife" What, not relevant (same theme as Mets) :o |
dolby digital (5073) | ||
| 537000 | 2007-03-31 21:48:00 | "Be assured that I will waste no time in getting to your request" | SurferJoe46 (51) | ||
| 537001 | 2007-03-31 23:56:00 | Not a one liner but I thought people might enjoy this from a site I know: Who is Jack Schitt? The lineage is finally revealed! Many people are at a loss for a response when someone says: "You don't know Jack Schitt." Now you can intellectually handle the situation: Jack is the only son of Awe Schitt. Awe Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, married O. Schitt, the owner of Needeep N. Schitt. They had one son, Jack. In turn, Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt. The Deeply religious couple produced six children: Holie Schitt, Fulla Schitt, Giva Schitt, Bull Schitt, and the twins Deap Schitt and Dip Schitt. Against her parents objection, Deap Schitt married Dumb Schitt, a high school dropout. After being married for 15 years, Jack and Noe Schitt divorced. Noe Schitt later remarried Ted Sherlock and, because her kids were still living with them, she wanted to keep her previous name. She was then known as Noe Schitt Sherlock. Meanwhile, Dip Schitt married Loda Schitt and they produced a son of nervous disposition, Chicken Schitt. Two of the other six children, Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt, were inseparable throughout childhood and subsequently married the Happens brothers in a dual ceremony. The wedding announcement in the newspaper announced the Schitt-Happens Wedding. The Schitt-Happens children were Daawg, Byrd, Hoarse and Bull. Bull Schitt, the prodigal son, left home to tour the world. He recently returned from Italy with his new Italian bride, Pisa Schitt. So now when someone says "You don't know Jack Schitt", You can correct them! |
zqwerty (97) | ||
| 537002 | 2007-04-01 06:12:00 | I've never been brave enough to say this to a client (yet!!): Lack of planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on mine. |
TideMan (4279) | ||
| 537003 | 2007-04-01 07:21:00 | Hi there Im looking for some good one liners to retort back to Management, when they start placing pressure on me as a Team Leader in an attempt to get their own Fault repaired ahead of others waiting in a que. Ive use the following - Who do You want to ring up and say that their repair goes to be back of the que because yours is more important. Another, alittle more scarcastically - Thats a really interssting insight, Ill keep it in mind. Thanks John in Mosgiel Put on a heavy Indian accent, tell them you cannot understand their strange accents, and ask them if they speak English. |
vinref (6194) | ||
| 537004 | 2007-04-01 07:35:00 | I'm always nice to the customer. Well except once. I was rung by this lady who demanded I come straight away to fix her printer as she ran an important business. (It was one of those loan crowds that lend small amounts at enormous interst rates) Asked a couple of questions about the symptoms and seemed to be not the printer - the PC, suspected malware infestation. Asked if she had any anti-malware? At which point she lost her temper and told me the "technicians" from Noel Leeming had installed everything and no doubt they had taken care of all that and I should stop asking questions and just come and fix the printer. I tried to explain why I was asking and she screamed down the phone and hung up on me. So I rang her back, slightly mad myself now, she ranted at me some more so I then told her she should ring the "technicians" at Noel Leeming instead as she was too stupid to own a computer. Only time I ever did that though...... |
pctek (84) | ||
| 537005 | 2007-04-01 12:26:00 | I'm a contract Test Analyst. Whenever I start with a new client and realise that their project timeline is a tad over-optimistic (when isn't it???!!!), I pin a wee notice up in a conspicuous spot near my desk: "On time. High quality. Pick one." They usually get the message... |
johcar (6283) | ||
| 537006 | 2007-04-05 06:51:00 | No hablo ingles. | andrew93 (249) | ||
| 537007 | 2007-04-05 07:15:00 | Me no English btw, zqwerty's one is absolutely awesome:D |
beeswax34 (63) | ||
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