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Thread ID: 78716	2007-04-26 00:19:00	The Special Edition "Because it feels like a Monday" Laughs..........	Billy T (70)	PC World Chat

Post ID	Timestamp	Content	User
544387	2007-04-26 00:19:00	* There was a beautiful young woman knocking on my Hotel Room door all night! She annoyed me so much I finally had to let her out . * A car hit an elderly man . The paramedic says, "Are you comfortable?" The man says, "I make a good living . " * I just got back from a pleasure trip . I took my mother-in-law to the airport . * I've been in love with the same woman for 20 years . If my wife ever finds out, she'll kill me! * What are three words a woman never wants to hear when she's making love? "Hi Honey, I'm home!" * Someone stole all my credit cards, but I won't be reporting it . The thief spends less than my wife did . * When my wife and I go our together we always hold hands . If I let go, she shops . * She was at the beauty shop for two hours . That was only for the estimate . She got a mudpack and looked great for two days . Then the mud fell off . * The doctor gave a man six months to live . The man couldn't pay his bill, so the doctor gave him another six months . * The Doctor called Mrs . Cohen saying, "Mrs . Cohen, Your check came back . " Mrs . Cohen answered, "So did my arthritis!" * Doctor: "You'll live to be 60!" Patient: "I AM 60!" Doctor: "See! What did I tell you?" * A doctor has a stethoscope up to a man's chest . The man asks, "Doc, how do I stand?" The doctor says, "That's what puzzles me!" * Doctor says to a man, "You're pregnant!" The man says, "How does a man get pregnant?" The doctor says, "The usual way . A little wine, a little dinner . You know how it goes?" * Patient: "I have a ringing in my ears . " Doctor: "Don't answer!" * A drunk was in front of a judge . The judge says, "You've been brought here for drinking . " The drunk says "Aaalrighty, let's get started . " * A bum asked a fellow, "Give me $10 till payday . " The fellow responded, "When's payday?" The bum said, "I don't know! You're the one that's working!" * Why do men die before their wives? They want to . * I wish my brother-in-law would learn a trade . At least I'd then know what kind of work he's out of . * "You don't stop laughing because you grow old, you grow old because you stop laughing" Cheers Billy 8-{) :)	Billy T (70)
544388	2007-04-26 00:30:00	Cool, thanks. An extra edition is always welcome. :)	mejobloggs (264)
544389	2007-04-26 01:18:00	I always enjoyed the things Bob Hope had to say during his floor show routines in Las Vegas . . . one of them about the room he was given: "My hotel room is so small the rats are all stoop-shouldered" . When he walked off stage, he was greeted by the owner of the hotel who told him it wasn't very nice to say something like that about the room . Mr . Hope told him he'd apologize for the comment in the next show . At the part where he was saying his apology, he said: "Last show I mentioned that my room was so small that the rats were all stoop-shouldered . I'd like the apologize for that comment by saying that the rats in the room are definitely NOT stoop-shouldered . "	SurferJoe46 (51)
544390	2007-04-26 01:48:00	Q: How do Mexican mothers teach their children to wear their underwear? A: Yellow to the front, brown to the back.	radium (8645)
544391	2007-04-26 15:18:00	Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail.... And with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath...... This made him .....a super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.	SurferJoe46 (51)
544392	2007-04-26 19:34:00	Two guys are walking down the street when a mugger approaches them and demands their money. They both grudgingly pull out their wallets and begin taking out their cash. Just then one guy turns to the other and hands him a bill. "By the way; here’s that $20 I owe you," he says.	Myth (110)
544393	2007-04-26 21:45:00	Apple Computer announced today that it has developed a computer chip that can store and play high fidelity music in women's breast implants . The iTit will cost $499 or $599 depending on speaker size . This is considered to be a major breakthrough because women have always complained about men staring at their breasts and not listening to them .	smithie 38 (6684)
544394	2007-04-28 03:56:00	One morning the husband returns after several hours of fishing and decides to take a nap. Although not familiar with the lake, the wife decides to take the boat out. She motors out a short distance, anchors, and reads her book. Along comes a Game Warden in his boat. He pulls up alongside the woman and says, "Good morning, Ma'am. What are you doing?" "Reading a book," she replies, (thinking, "Isn't that obvious?") "You're in a Restricted Fishing Area," he informs her. "I'm sorry, officer, but I'm not fishing. I'm reading." "Yes, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment. I'll have to take you in and write you up." "If you do that, I'll have to charge you with sexual assault," says the woman. "But I haven't even touched you," says the game warden. "That's true, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment." "Have a nice day ma'am," and he left. MORAL: Never argue with a woman who reads. It's likely she can also think.	zqwerty (97)
544395	2007-04-28 04:53:00	My favorite joke at the moment A bloke's wife goes missing while holidaying on the West Australian coast while they were diving, he spends a terrible night wondering what could have happened to her . Next morning there's a knock at the door and he is confronted by a couple of policemen, the old Sarge and a younger Constable . The Sarge says . . . "Mate, we have some news for you, unfortunately some really bad news, but, some good news, and maybe some more good news" . "Well," says the bloke . . . "I guess I'd better have the bad news first?" The Sarge says . . . "I'm really sorry pal, but your wife is dead, y oung Bill here found her lying at about five fathoms in a little cleft in the reef, he got a line around her and we pulled her up, but she was dead . "The bloke is naturally pretty distressed to hear of this and has a bit of a turn, but after a few minutes he pulls himself together and asks what the good news is . The Sarge says . . . "Well when we got your wife up there were quite a few really good sized crays and a swag of nice crabs attached to her, so we've brought you your share . " He hands the bloke a sugar bag with a couple of nice crays and four or five crabs in it . "Geez thanks . . . They're bloody beauties . I guess it's an ill wind and all that . . . . . . So what's the other possible good news? "Well", the Sarge says . . . "if you fancy a quick trip, me and young Bill here get off duty at around 11 o'clock and we're gonna shoot over there and pull her up again . . .	netchicken (4843)
544396	2007-04-28 05:43:00	I seen that joke on a comic strip before, It's hilarious.	radium (8645)
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