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Thread ID: 79062	2007-05-06 22:53:00	Monday Laughs: Otara Earthquake Relief..............	Billy T (70)	PC World Chat

Post ID	Timestamp	Content	User
547918	2007-05-06 22:53:00	Otara Earthquake A major earthquake, measuring 5 . 8 on the Richter scale hit Otara, Auckland, in the early hours of last Thursday morning . News of the disaster was swiftly spread by the distressed barking of the area's 35,000 unchipped Dobermans, Pitbulls, Staffies and various unidentifiable cross-breeds, while dazed victims were seen wandering around aimlessly muttering "wowozat?" and "orsum bro" . Many locals were visibly distressed to have been woken before their DPB arrived . The earthquake decimated the town, causing $99 . 99 worth of damage . Several priceless collections of mementos from McDonalds and the Otahuhu station car park were damaged beyond repair . Three acres of historically important burnt-out cars were thrown into chaos . Radio Manukau reported that hundreds of residents were confused and bewildered, still trying to come to terms with the fact that something interesting happened in Otara . One resident, 15 year old mother of three, Tarara Boum te Ae, said "I was still shaking when I was watching Oprah the next day . " Rising to the challenge, locals were determined to carry on business as usual, and lootings, muggings and car crime continued virtually without interruption . Relief Efforts: Rescue workers searching through the rubble have found large quantities of personal belongings, including benefit books, jewellery from The Warehouse and bone china from the $2 Shop . So far the Red Cross has managed to ship 4,000 cartons of Lion Red to the area to relieve the suffering of stricken locals . CAN YOU HELP?????? Please respond generously to our appeal for food and clothing for the victims of this disaster . Clothing and footware is needed most of all - especially: * Baseball caps * Hoodies * Tracksuit tops (his or hers) * White sport socks * Nike shoes or white gumboots * Jandals Culturally sensitive food parcels are harder to put together, but your efforts will make a difference . Microwave meals, baked beans, chippies, ice-cream and cans of Mountain Dew or V are ideal . Please do not give anything that needs peeling . Urgently required: tinned dog food, and please throw in some extra cans for the hungry pit-bulls and dobermans . Remember: * 50 cents buys a Bic ballpoint for filling in compensation claims . * $5 buys chips, chicken nuggets and blue fizzy drink for 5 toddlers or 3 pre-schoolers . * $10 will pay for a packet of Rothmans and a lighter to calm a child's nerves . * $20 will buy enough tinnies to settle down the adults into their normal levels of inertia . * $50 will buy sufficient spray cans in various colours to restore the damaged "Street Art" on shop fronts and public buildings, and to redecorate the local motorway bridges . Please do not send tents for shelter . The sight of such flash housing may cause discontent in the nearby West Auckland communities . Cheers Billy 8-{) :xmouth:	Billy T (70)
547919	2007-05-06 23:42:00	Heheh, I like it.	mejobloggs (264)
547920	2007-05-06 23:46:00	Oh, and for anyone that keeps a collection of lame jokes (hey, I know some people that actually do) Q: What did suchi A say to suchi B A: Wasabi (as in wassup B) Which I think comes close to being even more lame that the classic armies/sleevies one.	mejobloggs (264)
547921	2007-05-07 00:31:00	I got the following Email message as an April Fools idea from one of my friends . It was basically a social experiment of some sort . There are two parts to it and one may work better than the other . Well for me it was . . . The first half got me an infraction from Jen, a "Who do you think you are" from one user, a "peeve off and don't come back" from another . :p (30+ days in the making and it all came down to that) Therefore I'm kicking my friends shins when I see him . The second half however worked a treat on my parents . Told them some porky about work and lots of money and their ears opened all the way . . . Mind you this is how the media works nowadays . Here's a copy and paste in all it's offensive glory . Subject: [FWD] The Great Social Experiments . . . Try it on your friends and family . Date: Sun, 1 Apr 2007 23:11:48 +1200 From: ********** To: ********** Hey Tony . Since your a nerd and all, surely you could have fun with these 'social experiments' . Enjoy . . . ********** We all see those fantasy superhero films . You know the ones, Superman, Batman, Brian Tamaki :p . Basically they are all do gooders doing what they believe is right for the good of others . You're either with them or against them . People will either love or loathe you for it . Try it . Find a willing (or unwilling) "victim(s)" . Do something that would be considered 'heroic' to people . Be a martyr (just not literally :) ) Try and find ways to get it into their skin . If you do it right, people will look up to you, like you, respect you . Even extra bonuses ;) (yeah right fatty!) If you do it wrong, well don't come crawling to me about it . You'll get loathed and hated and almost probably get beaten up for it . (Basically something that makes people go all 'Emo' on you is enough) Also Watch the news lately? Read a magazine? Chances are that what you are reading is all gossip . Britney's hair, Angie's Adopted child . Bugger all the truth . One thing that people want to know about gossip . . . is MORE gossip . Try it . Find a willing (or unwilling) "victim" and say to them that you have some REALLY juicy gossip . (If your having trouble with this mention a place or topic they have heard from but not heard enough of) If you do it right, they will want more . Keep em hanging onto the string whilst keeping mum about it . They just cant get enough of it and will do anything to know about it . (Wait till you ask a question and watch them turn the tables) (yes Tony, it's a copy and paste but they're both on the same line) **************************************** Just remember to let them know it's fake when the funs over . (As if they will believe you any more) And remember, I'm not responsible for what happens . ;) ****************************************	bob_doe_nz (92)
547922	2007-05-07 02:02:00	Two delicate flowers of French womanhood were conversing on the porch swing of a large white-pillared mansion in New Orleans . The first woman said, "When my first child was born, my husband built this beautiful mansion for me . " The second woman commented, "Well, isn't that nice . " The first woman continued, "When my second child was born, my husband bought me that fine Cadillac automobile you see parked in the drive . " Again, the second woman commented, "Well, isn't that nice . " The first woman boasted, "Then, when my third child was born, my husband bought me this exquisite diamond bracelet . " Yet again, the second woman commented "Well, isn't that nice . " The first woman then asked her companion, "What did your husband buy for you when you had your first child?" The second woman replied, "My husband sent me to charm school . " "Charm school!" the first woman smiled, "land sakes, child, what on earth for?" The second woman responded, "So that instead of saying 'Who gives a ****' I learned to say, 'Well, isn't that nice' . "	smithie 38 (6684)
547923	2007-05-07 02:52:00	Poor guy A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years . He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed . He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair, while tying the girl to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom . While he's in there, the husband tells his wife: "Listen, this guy's an escaped convict, look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years . I saw how he kissed your neck . " If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain, do whatever he tells you . Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you . This guy is probably very dangerous . If he gets angry, he'll kill us . Be strong, honey . I love you . " To which his wife responds: "He wasn't kissing my neck . He wwas whispering in my ear . He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked me if we had any vaseline . I told him it was in the bathroom . Be strong honey . I love you too!!"	radium (8645)
547924	2007-05-07 03:01:00	Otara Earthquake Stereotyping based on your place of residence isn't funny. Yes there are people like that in Otara but certainly not all of them.	pctek (84)
547925	2007-05-07 03:26:00	Aww come on.	mejobloggs (264)
547926	2007-05-07 03:52:00	Yeah, right	TideMan (4279)
547927	2007-05-07 04:19:00	Stereotyping based on your place of residence isn't funny. Yes there are people like that in Otara but certainly not all of them. I never knew Otahuhu was in Otara. Shucks, I should walk 1Km to Otara and find Otahuhu. Oh Billy, $5 buys you a fried chicken drumstick, a wing, chips and a 355mL can drink. MMM Greasy salty chicken. Perfect right after exams. :p	bob_doe_nz (92)
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