Forum Home
PC World Chat
Thread ID: 79242	2007-05-13 21:37:00	Monday Laughs: You never know when it may be loaded..............	Billy T (70)	PC World Chat

Post ID	Timestamp	Content	User
549591	2007-05-13 21:37:00	A woman pregnant with triplets was walking down the street when a masked robber ran out of a bank . Shooting at his pursuers, he accidentally shot her three times in the stomach . Luckily the babies were OK, and the surgeon decided to leave the bullets in because it was too risky to operate . She later gave birth to two healthy daughters and a healthy son . All was fine for 16 years, and then one daughter walked into the room in tears . "What's wrong?" asked the mother . "I was taking a tinkle and this bullet came out," replied the daughter . The mother told her it was okay and explained what happened 16 years ago . About a week later the second daughter walked into the room in tears . "Mum", she said, "I was taking a tinkle and this bullet came out . " Again the mother told her not to worry and explained what happened 16 years ago . A few more weeks went by, then her son walked into the room in tears . "It's okay" said the Mum, "I know what happened . You were taking a tinkle and a bullet came out . " "No," wailed the boy, "I was playing with myself and I shot the dog . " I KNOW YOU SMILED Cheers Billy 8-{) ;)	Billy T (70)
549592	2007-05-14 00:35:00	One of the only things the IRD hasn't taxed in New Zealand yet is the Penis . This is due to the fact that: 40% of the time it's hanging around unemployed . 20% of the time it's pissed off . 30% of the time it's in a hole . On top of all this, it had 2 dependants and they are both nuts . Accordingly, starting January 1, 2007, Penises will be taxed according to size . To determine the category of how you will be taxed, please consult the chart below and confirm this information of Page 2,Section 7, Line 3, of the standard 1040P form . 10 to 12 inches* ---Luxury Tax ----$50 . 00 8 to 10 inches ----Pole Tax--------$30 . 00 6 to 8 inches -----Privilege Tax----$15 . 00 4 to 6 inches -----Nuisance Tax----$5 . 00 Anyone under 4 inches is eligible for a refund . Please do not request an extension! * Males exceeding 12 inches must file a Capital Gains tax form .	smithie 38 (6684)
549593	2007-05-14 00:50:00	A man had to attend a big convention in Wellington. On this particular trip he decided to bring his wife. When they arrived at their hotel and were shown to their room, the man said, "You rest here while I register - I'll be back within an hour." The wife lies down on the bed when an train passes by very close to the window and shakes the room so hard she's thrown out of the bed. Thinking this must be a freak occurrence, she lies down once more. Again a train shakes the room so violently, she's pitched to the floor. Exasperated, she calls the front desk, asks for the manager. The manager says he'll be right up. The manager (naturally) is sceptical but the wife insists the story is true. "Look, lie here on the bed - you'll be thrown right to the floor!" So he lies down next to the wife. Just then the husband walks in. "What," he says, "are you doing here?" The manager replies, "Would you believe I'm waiting for a train?"	johcar (6283)
549594	2007-05-14 07:46:00	A guy walked into a bar one day and said to the barman, "Give me six double vodkas." The barman says, "Wow! you must have had one hell of a day." "Yes, I've just found out my older brother is gay." The next day, the same guy came into the bar and asked for the same drinks. When the bartender asked what the problem was today the answer came back, "I've just found out that my younger brother is gay too!" On the third day, the guy came into the bar and ordered another six double vodkas. The bartender said, "Jesus! Doesn't anybody in your family like women?" The man downed the first drink and shook his head, "Yeah, my wife!"	radium (8645)
549595	2007-05-15 10:29:00	............I KNOW YOU SMILED Cheers Billy 8-{) ;)Smiled?? Actually i damn near "tinkled" myself ;)	personthingy (1670)
549596	2007-05-16 13:38:00	www.usj.com.my A young husband comes home one night, and his wife throws her arms around his neck: "Darling, I have great news: I'm a month overdue. I think we're going to have a baby! The doctor gave me a test today, but until we find out for sure, we can't tell anybody." The next day, a guy from the electric company rings the door-bell, because the young couple hasn't paid their last bill: "Are you Mrs. Smith? You're a month overdue, you know!" "How do YOU know?" stammers the young woman. "Well, ma'am, it's in our files!" says the man from the electric company. "What are you saying? It's in your files?????" "Absolutely." "Well, let me talk to my husband about this tonight." That night, she tells her husband about the visit, and he, mad as a bull, rushes to the electric company offices the first thing the next morning. "What's going on here? You have it on file that my wife is a month overdue. What business is that of yours?" the husband shouts. "Just calm down," says the clerk, "it's nothing serious. All you have to do is pay us." "PAY you? and if I refuse?" "Well, in that case, sir, we'd have no option but to cut yours off." "And what would my wife do then?" the husband asks. "I don't know. I guess she'd have to use a candle." "WWWHHAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!????"	Renmoo (66)
549597	2007-05-16 15:07:00	www.cnn.com • Damion M. Mosher, 18, accidentally shoots himself without a gun • Mosher was trying to empty brass shell casings • He put bullets in a vise and whacked them with a hammer • One of the bullets hit him in the abdomen Hilarious.	roddy_boy (4115)
549598	2007-05-17 02:34:00	How Golf is like Urinating in a Public Toilet 10. Keep your back straight, knees bent, feet shoulder width apart. 9. Form a loose grip. 8. Keep your head down. 7. Avoid a quick backswing. 6. Stay out of the water. 5. Try not to hit anybody. 4. If you are taking too long, you should let others go ahead of you. 3. You shouldn't stand directly in front of others. 2. Be quiet while others are about to go. 1. Keep strokes to a minimum.	johcar (6283)
549599	2007-05-17 03:14:00	A guy comming up to a Stop sign see's that there isn't any other traffic on the road and slowly rolls through and carries on. A hidden undercover cop sees this and pulls him over, Cop - excuse me sir you just ran a stop sign Driver - Oh @#$^%, but I slowed down! Cop - You should've stopped Driver - I slowed down to look mate, What's the difference!? The cop pulled out his nightstick and started hitting him on the head *whack *whack *whack *whack *whack Cop - Now do you want me to slow down or stop?	mejobloggs (264)
549600	2007-05-17 07:52:00	Apple Computers announced today that it has developed a computer chip that can store and play music in women’s breast implants. The iBreast will cost between $499 and $599. This is considered to be a major breakthrough because women are always complaining about men staring at their breasts and not listening to them.	Cicero (40)
1 2