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Thread ID: 80477	2007-06-24 22:05:00	Monday Laughs: More blondes......	Billy T (70)	PC World Chat

Post ID	Timestamp	Content	User
562502	2007-06-24 22:05:00	Two blonde girls were working for the City Public Works Department on a downtown beautification project . The first girl would dig a hole, then the other would follow behind her and fill the hole in . They worked up one side of the street, then down the other, then moved on to the next street, working furiously all day without rest, one girl digging a hole, the other girl filling it in again . An onlooker was amazed at their hard work, but couldn't understand what they were doing . So, he said to the hole digger, "I'm impressed by the effort you two are putting in to your work, but I don't get it -- why do you dig a hole, only to have your partner follow behind and fill it up again?" The hole digger wiped her brow and sighed, "Well, I guess it does look a bit odd . We were meant to be a three-person team, but the girl who is supposed to plant the trees can't start till next week . " ********************************* A plane is on its way from London to Melbourne when a blonde in economy class gets up and moves to the First Class section and sits down . The flight attendant watches her do this and asks to see her ticket . She then tells the blonde passenger that she paid for Economy and that she will have to go and sit in the back . The blonde replies, 'I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, I'm going to Melbourne and I'm staying right here!' The flight attendant goes into the cockpit and tells the pilot and co-pilot that there is some blonde bimbo sitting in First Class who belongs in Economy and won't move back to her seat . The co-pilot goes back to the blonde and tries to explain that because she only paid for Economy she is only entitled to an Economy seat, she will have to leave First Class and return to her original seat . The blonde replies, I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, I'm going to Melbourne and I'm staying right here!' Exasperated the co-pilot tells the pilot that it was no use; that he probably should have the police waiting when they land to arrest this blonde woman who won't listen to reason . The pilot says, 'You say she's blonde? I'll handle this, I'm married to a blonde, and I speak blonde!' He goes back to the blonde, whispers in her ear, and she says, "Oh, I'm sorry - I had no idea," gets up and moves back to her seat in the economy section . The flight attendant and co-pilot are amazed and asked him what he said to make her move without any fuss . The pilot replied, "I told her First Class isn't going to Melbourne . " Cheers Billy 8-{) :)	Billy T (70)
562503	2007-06-24 23:51:00	Two bored casino dealers are waiting at the craps table. A very attractive blonde lady comes in and wants to bet $10,000 on a single roll of the dice. And she adds, "I hope you don't mind, but I feel much luckier when I m completely nude." With that she takes off everything but her necklace and rolls the dice while yelling, "Mama needs new clothes." Then she yells, "YES, YES, YES!! I WON, I WON, I WON." She begins jumping up and down and hugging both of the dealers. Then she picks up her money and her clothes and quickly leaves. The dealers just stare at each other dumbfounded. Finally one of them asks, "What did she roll, anyway?" The other answers, "I don't know. I thought YOU were watching." ************************************************** ******** On their honeymoon, the BLONDE bride slipped into a sexy nightie and, with great anticipation, crawled into bed, only to find that her new Catholic husband had settled down on the couch. When she asked him why he was, apparently, not going to make love to her, he replied, "It's Lent." In tears, she remarked, "Well, that is the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard of! Who did you lend it to ... and for how long?" ************************************************** ***** A blonde is terribly overweight, so her doctor puts her on a diet. "I want you to eat regularly for two days, then skip a day, and repeat this procedure for two weeks. The next time I see you, you'll have lost at least five pounds." When the blonde returns, she's lost nearly 20 pounds. "Why, that's amazing!" the doctor says. "Did you follow my instructions?" The blonde nods. "I'll tell you, though, I thought I was going to drop dead that third day." "From hunger, you mean?" "No, from skipping."	smithie 38 (6684)
562504	2007-06-25 03:03:00	Blonde Horse Ranch A blonde had two horses, but she couldn't tell them apart . So she asked her neighbor for advice . He suggested that she cut the tail off one of the horses . This worked until the other horse snagged his tail on a fence . So the neighbor suggested notching one of the horses' ear . This worked until the other horse snagged his ear on a fence . So the neighbor suggested measuring the heights of the horses . And sure enough, the white horse was two inches taller than the black horse . Blonde Coffee Drinker A blonde says to a brunette, ''Excuse me, but each time I sip my coffee, my eye seems to hurt . '' The brunette says, ''Well maybe you should take the spoon out of the cup . '' Blonde and Dictionary A blonde, redhead, and brunette were looking at a dictionary for the hardest words they knew . The brunette's word was quizzical . The redhead's word was photosynthesis . The blonde's word was dick . Blonde - Elmo Factory Once there was a blonde who really needed some money . She saw an ad in the newspaper for a job at an Elmo factory . She went down and applied, but the manager told her that she wouldn't want the job because it was so boring . The blonde begged him and told him she would do anything because she needed the money really bad . After long consideration the manager hired her . After a few hours the manager looked at the video-monitor showing the factory floor and saw that the conveyer belt was backed up . The manager went downstairs to find out what the problem was . When he arived there the blonde was sewing to marbles into the crotch of every Elmo . The manager said, ''I said to give each Elmo two test tickles; not two testicles!'' A Blonde's Brain At Work A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead all work at the same office for a female boss who always goes home early . "Hey, girls," says the brunette, "let's go home early tomorrow . She'll never know . " So the next day, they all leave right after the boss does . The brunette gets some extra gardening done, the redhead goes to a bar, and the blonde goes home to find her husband having sex with the female boss! She quietly sneaks out of the house and returns at her normal time . "That was fun," says the brunette . "We should do it again sometime . " "No way," says the blonde . "I almost got caught . " Blonde at the Appliance Store A blonde went to the appliance store sale and found a bargain . "I would like to buy this TV," she told the salesman . "Sorry, we don't sell to blondes," he replied . She hurried home and dyed her hair, then came back and again told the salesman, "I would like to buy this TV . " "Sorry, we don't sell to blondes," he replied . "Darn, he recognized me," she thought . She went for a complete disguise this time; haircut and new color, new outfit, big sunglasses, then waited a few days before she again approached the salesman . "I would like to buy this TV . " "Sorry, we don't sell to blondes," he replied . Frustrated, she exclaimed, "How do you know I'm a blonde?" Because that's a microwave," he replied . Adventures in Disneyland Two blondes were going to Disneyland when they came to a fork in the road . The sign read: "Disneyland Left . " So they went home . Alligator Shoes A young blonde was on vacation in the depths of Louisiana . She wanted a pair of genuine alligator shoes in the worst way, but was very reluctant to pay the high prices the local vendors were asking . After becoming very frustrated with the "no haggle" attitude of one of the shopkeepers, the blonde shouted, "Maybe I'll just go out and catch my own alligator so I can get a pair of shoes at a reasonable price!" The shopkeeper said, "By all means, be my guest . Maybe you'll luck out and catch yourself a big one!" Determined, the blonde turned and headed for the swamps, set on catching herself an alligator . Later in the day, the shopkeeper was driving home, when he spotted the young woman standing waist deep in the water, shotgun in hand . Just then, he saw a huge 9-foot alligator swimming quickly toward her . She took aim, killed the creature, and with a great deal of effort hauled it on to the swamp bank . Lying nearby were several more of the dead creatures . The shopkeeper watched in amazement . Just then the blonde flipped the alligator on its back, and frustrated, shouts out, "Damn it, this one isn't wearing any shoes either!" Blonde on Fire There was a blonde whose house was on fire . She calls the fire department screaming, ''Help me, help me . My house is on fire . Please!'' The fire department operator says, ''Okay, okay . Calm down and we'll be there soon . How do we get to your house?'' The blonde answers, ''Duh, in that big red truck!" Blonde Painting A Porch A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood . She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do . "Well, you can paint my porch . How much will you charge?" The blonde said, "How about 50 dollars?" The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage . A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money . "You're finished already?" he asked . "Yes," the blonde answered, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats . " Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50 . "And by the way," the blonde added, "that's not a Porch, it's a Ferrari . " What do you do when a blonde throws a grenade at you? Pull the pin and throw it back . . .	FoxyMX (5)
562505	2007-06-25 03:39:00	Hold on. Why do all the dumb blonde jokes involve a dumb blonde woman?	pctek (84)
562506	2007-06-25 03:41:00	Hold on. Why do all the dumb blonde jokes involve a dumb blonde woman?Was that rhetorical pctek, or do you have a punchline?? :D :D	johcar (6283)
562507	2007-06-25 05:46:00	i have a small blond joke that is more of the dumb blonde guy side - but i might offend the Politically correct uptights if i say it so :xmouth:	MAC_H8ER (5897)
562508	2007-06-25 05:50:00	Hold on. Why do all the dumb blonde jokes involve a dumb blonde woman? I'm a blond guy- I don't have a problem with it being sexist :D	Shortcircuit (1666)
562509	2007-06-25 07:23:00	i have a small blond joke that is more of the dumb blonde guy side - but i might offend the Politically correct uptights if i say it so :xmouth: Well...........what is it. No PC blonde women have complained yet.........	pctek (84)
562510	2007-06-25 07:30:00	Short one (no doubt someone will ping me for this :p) Whats the difference between a blonde and a brick? The brick won't follow you round after being laid	Myth (110)
562511	2007-06-25 08:00:00	Hold on. Why do all the dumb blonde jokes involve a dumb blonde woman? Actually, that one of Billy's about the blonde filling in the hole that the other one dug originally had two blonde males in the email I got several years ago. Billy may have changed it to females. Or not.	FoxyMX (5)
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