| Forum Home | ||||
| PC World Chat | ||||
| Thread ID: 80725 | 2007-07-03 06:48:00 | Could i have a little bit of constructive criticism please. | Tyroneb (11728) | PC World Chat |
| Post ID | Timestamp | Content | User | ||
| 565388 | 2007-07-03 21:32:00 | www.en-visage.net.nz has a few broken pictures You have your email displayed on www.en-visage.net.nz This could be harvested by spammers. You could try a mail form instead. (or perhaps include your email address as a picture) www.en-visage.net.nz Looks odd when the content is too short. Try putting a min-height for the content, that should fix this problem. Logo needs some anti-aliasing to smooth the font |
mejobloggs (264) | ||
| 565389 | 2007-07-03 21:48:00 | Only looked briefly at the front page, and haven't read all the above critiques, but... Make the image montage below the logo smaller. Create a decent gif image for the En Visage logo. Reduce the page's content to 75% of screen width. Reduce the menu font size. Give the page a title tag. Centre the text and links at the bottom of the page. And... the image of the lady in white shirt looks lousy... ditch it. |
Greg (193) | ||
| 565390 | 2007-07-04 08:51:00 | My suggestions: You are currently using a separate paragraph for every line with manual breaks in between on your pamper packages page. Line breaks are OK but not paragraph breaks for every line! Text style consistency could use polishing. Your images don't fit well in some places with the layout of the page. Aim to have smaller images dispersed through the text with plenty of space between them. Images can break up text nicely but too many together can form a visual barrier and distract the reader from the text, which is after all what you really want them to see. The size of the images in the wedding gallery is great - try to replicate this look with the images on other pages. The vertical lines on the wedding gallery page are quite distracting though - I would box completely or not at all. The privacy statement at the bottom of the first page could be improved. You can get template privacy policies from many sites and adapt them to your own needs. A simple policy accessible through a link at the bottom (next to Home | Contact | Email Us ) would be a good idea. If you only collect information by email or phone, not through the site itself then a simple privacy statement on the "contact us" page might be easier. The home page however is not really the place for it. Recommended browsers should not be displayed, especially not on the "About Us" page. Your site should work in all browsers! On the decor page you need a margin around the images - the text currently sticks right to the side of them. It's a little odd to see a list of services along the left with "Bereavement" as one of the options. Do you do specials for several relatives at once? Something like "Memorial Photos" might be more in keeping with the nature of the list :) . Finally "En-Visage offers a service where we can put images together of your loved one over there years create a story of there lives." is annoying. Their their their their! A third party check on spelling and grammar can give a professional gloss to a site. Other than that, great work! The page is easy to navigate and find what a customer would want. |
TGoddard (7263) | ||
| 565391 | 2007-07-04 11:09:00 | OK. I can't comment on the web design, but here's my take on the content. Comments refer to errors. Beauty: Punctuation, grammar, spelling, capitalisation, ize or ise (make up your mind, NZ convention is ise). Pamper: Punctuation Portrait Photography: Punctuation, abbreviations, composition, capitalisation, spelling. Weddings: Composition, punctuation, grammar, abbreviations. Bereavement: Spelling, punctuation, grammar, composition, awkward text in sample writing. Decor: Capitalisation, repetition, spelling, grammar, punctuation. Contact Us: Grammar You need a professional proof-reader to go through this site. There are more errors present than I've seen in a long long time, which rather contradicts the claim to be able to write. It would be appalling if a bereavement verse was written that contained spelling and/or grammatical errors, and the sample has some weaknesses too. This is a quick once-over only. If I had time I'd do a dump of the text and send it back with corrections. Please take this as constructive criticism, you asked and this is my honest opinion. It simply is not up to the professional standard you wish to portray. Cheers Billy 8-{) |
Billy T (70) | ||
| 565392 | 2007-07-04 23:55:00 | I think everyone covered pretty much everything but .... is it just me or is this an annoying read ..... A studio set near the Kaimai Ranges, we have a quiet and relaxed shooting location for both studio and outdoor shoots, ensuring an stress-free shoot. We also shoot on location to ensure your needs are met if you have something special in mind. Probably just me but I think you use the work shoot to much. Perhaps I am being too picky. I would prefer something that flows a bit more and really gets punters interested in looking further. |
never-u-mind (6500) | ||
| 565393 | 2007-07-05 00:28:00 | Last night I thought this was just poorly composed, but in the cold hard light of day, it is awkward, naive and awful: The years that have passed each Summer, Autumn, Winter and Spring From the one whose eyes are now old And have seen many a thing And the mind and the body are now slower most days And so death for the old is not sad Just a circle, a journey in many ways So what a life, a journey this old soul has had So relief from old age really isn't so bad So enjoy all those moments Tie them up in a bow with some string And watch them unravel, with each new generation Similarities in the most littlest thing And and and; so so so; most littlest thing, The years that have passed each Summer, Autumn, Winter and Spring??? If this is an example of the writer's best work, it is sadly lacking. It is not poetic, it is not sensitive, hell, it isn't even good prose! It is serious groan material. Even greeting card hacks can write better than that, however, if the bereft want some words written, that's up to them, but keep it short and simple and don't put them up on the site. If the author is not a poet or a writer (and the sample says that in spades) then don't feature the work, just supply it on demand. Cheers Billy 8-{) |
Billy T (70) | ||
| 565394 | 2007-07-05 06:24:00 | Last night I thought this was just poorly composed, but in the cold hard light of day, it is awkward, naive and awful: And and and; so so so; most littlest thing, The years that have passed each Summer, Autumn, Winter and Spring??? If this is an example of the writer's best work, it is sadly lacking. It is not poetic, it is not sensitive, hell, it isn't even good prose! It is serious groan material.Gosh, that is harsh. The author is Tyrone's mother ... I actually like it. What is being conveyed is nice, even if you do not consider it up to your lofty literary standards ... |
Jen (38) | ||
| 565395 | 2007-07-05 06:52:00 | I quite liked it, simple and to the point. My only thing would be the layout of the photos on the homepage. I would arrange them differently (below the logo), but that would be all. Visually nice, I cant comment on the tech side... | rob_on_guitar (4196) | ||
| 565396 | 2007-07-05 07:11:00 | You have your email displayed on www.en-visage.net.nz This could be harvested by spammers. You could try a mail form instead. (or perhaps include your email address as a picture) Including your e-mail address in a picture is not going to help as spam bots can read images. |
stu161204 (123) | ||
| 565397 | 2007-07-05 08:48:00 | Gosh, that is harsh . The author is Tyrone's mother . . . I actually like it . What is being conveyed is nice, even if you do not consider it up to your lofty literary standards . . . Firstly, we were asked for constructive criticism, and more than one contributor strongly criticised the spelling, punctuation and grammar . I am assuming his mum wrote that too . Secondly, Tyrone could be a 25 year old bikie for all we know, so I don't think some honest comment will hurt him, though his Mum might not like reading it (if he shows her) . Thirdly, the author claims to be able to write, so having made that claim they can't complain if put to the test . This is not about lofty literary standards (sarky), it is about reasonably lucid and appropriate use of the language . Take a minute or two Jen and actually READ what that text says . Then read it again through the eyes of a bereft person, somebody who has just lost their beloved mum for example . Mine is just one opinion, but I think it is grammatically weak, and lacks sensitivity, cohesion and purpose . The So's don't fit, and (amongst other things) to me it says "Oh well, he/she had a good innings so let them go, they were probably quite happy to shuffle off" . You'll read far better expressed sentiments in a mass-market bereavement card from PaperPlus . Cheers Billy 8-{) |
Billy T (70) | ||
| 1 2 3 | |||||