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Thread ID: 81195	2007-07-20 00:31:00	Friday Laughs...	mejobloggs (264)	PC World Chat

Post ID	Timestamp	Content	User
570450	2007-07-20 00:31:00	Can we have some? Just for today? Slow day... Turn my :( into :)	mejobloggs (264)
570451	2007-07-20 00:42:00	Courtesy of R2x1: ---------------------------------------------------------------------- AID TO THE OPPRESSED A big earthquake - 8.1 on the Richter scale has hit Pakistan. Two million Pakistanis have died and over a million are injured. The country is totally ruined and the government does not know where to start with providing help to rebuild. The rest of the world is in shock. The United States is sending troops to help. Saudi Arabia is sending oil. Latin American countries are sending supplies. New Zealand is sending sheep, cattle and food crops. The rest of the European community (except France) is sending money. The Asian continents are sending labour to assist in rebuilding infrastructure. Australia is sending medical teams and supplies. The Poms, not to be outdone, are sending two million replacement Pakistanis.	Erayd (23)
570452	2007-07-20 01:36:00	A married man thought he would give his wife a birthday surprise by buying her a bra . He entered a ladies shop rather intimidated, but the girls took charge to help him . "What color?" they asked . He settled for white . "How much does it cost?" he asked . "Twenty dollars . " "Very good," he thought . All that remained was the size, but he hadn't the faintest idea . "Now sir, are they the size a pair of melons? Coconuts? Grape fruits? Oranges?" "No," he said, "nothing like that . " "Come on, sir, think . There must be something your wife's bust resembles . "He thought long and hard and then looked up and said, "Have you ever seen a Bassett Hound's ears?" :D	smithie 38 (6684)
570453	2007-07-20 02:13:00	"Have you ever seen a Bassett Hound's ears?" :D :lol: :lol: :lol:	ronyville (10611)
570454	2007-07-20 03:12:00	Heheh, I just looked on google images to see what a Basset Hount was. The first thing I noticed was it's ears :p	mejobloggs (264)
570455	2007-07-20 03:17:00	A New Zealander is travelling around the Greek Islands. He walks into a bar and orders a beer from the New Zealand barmaid. As she takes his order, she notices his accent and over the course of the evening they get chatting. At the end of her shift he asks if she wants to come back to his hotel. Although she is attracted to him she says no. He then offers to pay her $200 to sleep with him. As she is travelling around the world, and is short of funds, she agrees. The next night the guy turns up again. Again he orders a beer and after showing her plenty of attention, asks if she will sleep with him again for $200. She remembers the night before and is only too happy to agree. This goes on for 5 nights. On the 6th night the guy comes in again, orders a beer but goes and sits in the corner. The barmaid thinks that if she pays him more attention then, maybe she can shake some more cash out of him. So she goes over and sits next to him. She asks him where he's from in New Zealand. "Alexandra", he tells her. "So am I. What area?" she enquires. "Bridge Hill" he replies. "That's amazing," she says excitedly, "so am I - what Street?" "Erewhon Crescent" he replies. "This is unbelievable........." she says, her voice quavering; "What number?" "Number 20", he replies. She is totally astonished. "You are NOT going to believe this," she screams, "but I'm from number 22! My parents still live there!" "I know..." he says, "Your dad gave me $1,000 to give to you"	johcar (6283)
570456	2007-07-20 09:17:00	Lost in translation... An Asian tourist goes into a bank to get some money exchanged. When he notices less money than usual, he says "Ooh why i no get so much money today" The bank teller replies, "Flucuations" The tourist takes the money and leaves. Just as he opens the door, he turns around and says... "And fluck you lot too":D	bob_doe_nz (92)
570457	2007-07-20 10:05:00	The major storm that hit Auckland last week left residents reeling in its wake. Strong winds cut power to a number of areas, leaving householders baffled. One man was seen carrying his plasma screen up the street looking for somewhere to plug it in. Others suffered horrific losses. "I've driven from Parnell to Remuera and I can't find a soy latte anywhere," sobbed a distraught woman. Phone lines to landscape gardeners were clogged by anxious callers needing immediate assistance. "My Pacific fusion courtyard has been filled with my neighbour's California succulents - what should I do?" Property owners are being advised to stay calm and read landscaping magazines until help arrives. The storm damage has left some residents philosophical. 'It was about time I changed my garden art," said one Remuera man. 'With my insurance payout I'll be able to get the very latest in limestone geometric figures while my neighbours are still stuck with their out-dated stainless steel sculptures. It's an ill wind, eh?". Many drivers are finding their 4 wheel drive vehicles invaluable in the trying conditions. One man admitted he had driven right over workers clearing fallen trees from the road and had hardly felt a thing. Rescue organisations have been quick to respond to the disaster. A Starbucks tanker is calling on housebound residents, and catering companies are rushing spit-roasting equipment to the area to provide hot venison paninis for those in need. Mobile cell-phone charging trucks will be on hand over the next few days until full power is restored. Those outside Auckland who wish to help are encouraged to send gift vouchers for Hermes or Louis Vuitton, to speed the healing process through retail therapy. Or you can phone 0900 **** to make a tax-deductible $500 donation. Please - these people need help.	johcar (6283)
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