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Thread ID: 84215 2007-10-28 19:39:00 Monday Laughs: Pre-Christmas '10-pack +1' Special: Clearing out old stock for new! Billy T (70) PC World Chat
Post ID Timestamp Content User
606087 2007-10-31 01:14:00 A Recent Final Exam In Chemistry



For 95 points: Which tire?

Whoops, :lol:
beeswax34 (63)
606088 2007-11-01 17:53:00 They were posted on an NZ Tourism Website and the answers are the actual responses by the website officials, who have a sense of humour .

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Q: Does it ever get windy in NZ? I have never seen it rain on TV, how do the plants grow? ( UK )

A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching them die .

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Q: Will I be able to see kiwi birds in the street? ( USA )

A: Depends how much you've been drinking .

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Q: I want to walk from Auckland to Wellington - can I follow the railroad tracks? ( Sweden )

A: Sure, it's only three thousand miles, take lots of water .

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Q: Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in NZ? Can you send me a list of them in Auckland, Wellington, Christchurch and Queenstown? ( UK )

A: What did your last slave die of?

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Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in NZ ? ( USA )

A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe .
New - Zea-land is that island in the middle of the Pacific which does not
. . . oh forget it . Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Auckland city . Come naked .

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Q: Which direction is North in NZ? ( USA )

A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees . Contact us when you get here and we'll send the rest of the directions .

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Q: Can I bring cutlery into NZ? ( UK )

A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do .

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Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? ( USA )

A: New-Zea-Land is that quaint little country, which is . . . . .
oh forget it . Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Auckland city, straight after the hippo races . Come naked .

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Q: Can I wear high heels in NZ? ( UK )

A: You are a British politician, right?

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Are there supermarkets in Auckland and is milk available all year round? ( Germany )

A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of vegan hunter/gatherers .
Milk is illegal .

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Q: Please send a list of all doctors in NZ who can dispense spider serum . ( USA )

A: Poisonous spiders live in A-meri-ca which is where YOU come from .
All NZ spiders are perfectly harmless, can be safely handled and make good pets . You should find some for yourself when you get here . Especially the ones with white tails .


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Q: I have a question about a famous animal in NZ, but I forget its name . It's a kind animal and lives in trees . ( USA )

A: It's called a Drop Bear . They are so called because they drop out of Gum trees and eat the brains of anyone walking underneath them .
You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking .

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Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth . Can you tell me where I can sell it in NZ ? ( USA )

A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather .

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Q: Can you tell me the regions in Auckland where the female population is smaller than the male population? ( Italy )

A: Yes, gay night clubs .

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Q: Do you celebrate Christmas in NZ ? ( France )

A: Only at Christmas .

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Q: I was in NZ in 1969 on R+R, and I want to contact the girl I dated while I was staying in Wellington . Can you help? ( USA )

A: Yes, and you will still have to pay her by the hour . .

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Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? ( USA )

A: Yes, but you'll have to learn it first
Cicero (40)
606089 2007-11-02 03:30:00 A Recent Final Exam In Chemistry...

For 95 points: Which tire?:lol:
Myth (110)
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