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Thread ID: 84417	2007-11-04 21:05:00	Monday Laughs: Kids......End of school year clearout, 8 of the best...	Billy T (70)	PC World Chat

Post ID	Timestamp	Content	User
608346	2007-11-04 21:05:00	[1] A Doctor's Examination Room . Female doctor talking with her female patient; "I'm afraid its incurable, very painful and will probably kill you - it's called parenting . ************************************* [2] Little Sally came home from school with a smile on her face and told her mother: "Frank Brown showed me his willy today!" Before the mother could raise a concern, Sally went on to say, "It reminded me of a peanut" Relaxing with a hidden smile, Sally's Mum asked, "Really small was it?" Sally replied, "No . . . salty!" ************************************* [3] A man and a woman were driving down the road and arguing about his deplorable infidelity when suddenly the woman reaches over and slices the man's penis off . Angrily, she tosses it out the car window . Driving behind the couple is a man and his 9-year-old daughter . The little girl is just chatting away at her father when all of a sudden the penis smacks the car on the windshield, sticks for a moment, then flies off . Surprised, the daughter aks her father, "Wow Daddy, what the heck was that?" Not wanting to expose his little girl to anything sexual at such a young age, the father replies, "It was only a bug, honey . " The daughter sits with a confused look on her face, and after a few minutes she innocently says, "Well, it sure had a big dick, didn't it?" ************************************* [4] Eight-year-old Sally brought her report card home from school . Her marks were good, mostly A's and a couple of B's . However, her teacher had written across the bottom: "Sally is a smart little girl, but she has one fault . She talks too much in school . I have an idea I am going to try, which I think may break her of the habit . " Sally's dad signed her report card, putting a note on the back, "Please let me know if your idea works on Sally because I would like to try it out on her mother, too!" ************************************* [5] Little Johnny Jones, age 7, is in love with Mary Smith, the little girl next door and comes to confide to his father that they plan to get married . Mr Jones is amused . "What are you going to do about money ?" he asks, with pretended gravity . Johnny replies; "I have my allowance, and Mary has a dollar in the piggy-bank . " "That's all right for now" says his father, "but what will you do when the children come ?" "Well", says Johnny, We've had pretty good luck so far" ************************************* [6] Johnny skipped school for a day . The next day the teacher asked him, "Where were you yesterday?" "I took our cow to the bull," replied Johnny . "Good, but your father could have done it . " "Yeah, but not as well as the bull . " ************************************* [7] A junior school class had a homework assignment to find out about something exciting and relate it to the class the next day . Little Johnny was the last boy called upon . He walked up to the front of the class and with a piece of chalk, made a small white dot on the blackboard, then sat down . Puzzled the teacher asked him just what it was . "It's a period" said the Johhny . "Well I can see that", she said, "but what is so exciting about a period?" "Darned if I know", said Johhny, "but this morning my 14 year old sister said she was missing one and Mom fainted, Dad had a heart attack, then the man next door shot himself . " ************************************* [8] Little Johnny strikes again: The teacher asked the class to use the word "fascinate" in a sentence . Molly put up her hand and said, "My family went to my grandad's farm,and we all saw his pet sheep . It was fascinating . " The teacher said, "That was good, but I wanted you to use the word "fascinate, not fascinating" . Sally raised her hand . She said, "My family went to see Rock City and I was "fascinated . " The teacher said, "Well, that was good too Sally, but I wanted you to use the word "fascinate . " Little Johnny raised his hand . The teacher hesitated because she had been burned by Little Johnny so many times before . She finally decided there was no way he could damage the word "fascinate", so she called on him . Johnny said, "My Aunt Gina has a sweater with ten buttons, but her tits are so big she can only fasten eight . " Cheers Billy 8-{) :)	Billy T (70)
608347	2007-11-05 01:59:00	C:\Documents and Settings\Brian\My Documents\Data\Xmas countdown.htm	Cicero (40)
608348	2007-11-05 02:04:00	Thanks for that, Brian.	roddy_boy (4115)
608349	2007-11-05 02:55:00	C:\Documents and Settings\Brian\My Documents\Data\Xmas countdown.htm :confused::confused::confused::confused: You've lost me there Brian, so heres a song for you Brian. The babe they called 'Brian', He grew,... grew, grew, and grew-- Grew up to be-- grew up to be A boy called 'Brian'-- A boy called 'Brian'. He had arms... and legs... and hands... and feet, This boy... whose name was 'Brian', And he grew,... grew, grew, and grew-- Grew up to be-- Yes, he grew up to be A teenager called 'Brian'-- A teenager called 'Brian', And his face became spotty. Yes, his face became spotty, And his voice dropped down low And things started to grow On young Brian and show He was certainly no-- No girl named 'Brian', Not a girl named 'Brian'. And he started to shave And have one off the wrist And want to see girls And go out and get pissed, A man called 'Brian'-- This man called 'Brian'-- The man they called 'Brian'-- This man called 'Brian'!	Morgenmuffel (187)
608350	2007-11-05 03:08:00	www.youtube.com Insta win.	--Wolf-- (128)
608351	2007-11-05 03:12:00	Sex Education A unit in sex education was about to begin, and each student had to bring in a permission slip in order to take it. A boy handed in his slip and explained to the teacher, "My mum says I can take the course as long as there's no homework." ****** Irate Driver An honest man was being tailgated by a stressed-out woman on a busy boulevard. Suddenly, the light turned yellow, just in front of him. He did the right thing, stopping at the crosswalk, even though he could have beaten the red light by accelerating through the intersection. The tailgating woman hit the roof and the horn, screaming in frustration as she missed her chance to get through the intersecti on her window and looked up into the face of a very serious police officer. The officer ordered her to exit her car with her hands up. He took her to the police station where she was searched, fingerprinted, photographed and placed in a cell. After a couple of hours, a policeman approached the cell and opened the door. She was escorted back to the booking desk where the arresting officer was waiting with her personal effects. He said, "I'm very sorry for this mistake. You see, I pulled up behind your car while you were blowing your horn, flipping the guy off in front of you and cussing a blue streak at him. I noticed the 'Choose Life' license plate holder, the 'What Would Jesus Do' bumper sticker, the 'Follow Me to Sunday School' bumper sticker and the chrome-plated Christian fish emblem on the trunk. [- "boot" for non-Americans] Naturally, I assumed that you had stolen the car. ****** Yoga A young woman who was worried about her habit of biting her fingernails down to the quick was advised by a friend to take up yoga to ease her nervousness. She did, and soon her fingernails were growing normally. One day her friend stopped her and noticing her long, groomed nails - asked her if yoga had totally cured her nervousness. "No," she replied, "but now I can reach my toe-nails so I bite them instead."	johcar (6283)
608352	2007-11-05 20:33:00	Hung Chow calls into work and says, 'Hey, I no come work today, I really sick. Got headache, stomach ache and legs hurt, I no come work.' The boss says, 'You know something, Hung Chow, I really need you today. When I feel like this, I go to my wife and tell her to give me sex. That makes everything better and I go to work. You try that.' Two hours later Hung Chow calls again. 'hey boss, I do what you say and I feel great. I be at work soon......... You got nice house.' Cheers Billy 8-{) ;)	Billy T (70)
608353	2007-11-05 20:46:00	C:\Documents and Settings\Brian\My Documents\Data\Xmas countdown.htmhttp://osiris.erayd.net/pressf1/countdown.htm	Erayd (23)
608354	2007-11-05 20:49:00	Hung Chow calls into work and says, 'Hey, I no come work today, I really sick. Got headache, stomach ache and legs hurt, I no come work.' The boss says, 'You know something, Hung Chow, I really need you today. When I feel like this, I go to my wife and tell her to give me sex. That makes everything better and I go to work. You try that.' Two hours later Hung Chow calls again. 'hey boss, I do what you say and I feel great. I be at work soon......... You got nice house.' Cheers Billy 8-{) ;) The boss was lucky it wasn't his brother Hung Low.	Cicero (40)
608355	2007-11-05 20:55:00	I am a bit concerned about you Billy T you seem to be obsessed with sex. All your jokes seem to have a sexual theme. Some are not really suitable for a forum like this and I am surprised the mods allow some of them even though they are quite funny Not talking about the latest one but there have been a few others that were marginal and quite sexist when you consider it is not allowable to even post pictures of naked ladies in work places anymore and this could be considered a work place for many of both sexes.	Safari (3993)
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