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| Thread ID: 144301 | 2017-09-11 00:10:00 | MONDAY LAUGHS ... Sex and Marriage | WalOne (4202) | PC World Chat |
| Post ID | Timestamp | Content | User | ||
| 1439002 | 2017-09-11 00:10:00 | Hey folks, after rain stopped play last week here we are once more :banana :D:D Kicking off this week with . . . SEX AND MARRIAGE :clap “Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes” Jim Carrey “I haven’t spoken to my wife in years . I didn’t want to interrupt her” Rodney Dangerfield “Marriage has no guarantees . If that’s what you’re looking for, go live with a car battery” Erma Bombeck “Erotic, not kinky . It’s the difference between using a feather and using a chicken” Terry Pratchett “There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women . Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL convertible” Unknown “I have just learned that penguins are monogamous for life, which doesn’t surprise me all that much because they all look exactly alike . It’s not like they’re going to meet a better looking penguin someday” Ellen DeGeneres +++++////\\\\+++++ Sexist post of the year . . . 8268 :eek: +++++////\\\\+++++ Whiskers on it . . . A family visiting an Indian reservation happened upon an old tribesman laying face down in the middle of the road with his ear pressed firmly against the blacktop . The father of the family asked the old tribesman what he was doing . The tribesman began to speak . . . "woman, late thirties, three kids, one barking dog in late model, four door station wagon, traveling at 65 m . p . h . " "That's amazing" exclaimed the father . "You can tell all of that just by listening to the ground"? "No", said the old tribesman . "They just ran over me five minutes ago . " +++++////\\\\+++++ A patient tells his doctor that he wasn't able to do all the things around the house that he used to do . When the examination was complete, he said, "Doctor, I can take it . Tell me in plain English what is wrong with me . " "Well, in plain English," the doctor replied, "you're just lazy . " "Okay," says the patient, "now give me the medical term so I can tell my wife . " +++++////\\\\+++++ Q: What’s the difference between a {insert the name of a NZ political party] politician and a snail? A: One is slimy, a pest, and leaves a trail everywhere and the other is a snail . +++++////\\\\+++++ An Englishman, a Frenchman, a Spaniard and a German are all watching a dolphin do some excellent tricks . The dolphin notices that the four gentlemen have a very poor view, so he jumps higher out of the water and calls out, “Can you all see me now?” “Yes . ” “Oui . ” “Sí . ” “Ja . ” (yes, we see ya) :groan: +++++////\\\\+++++ Old people at weddings poke me and say, “you’re next” . So I started doing the same thing to them at funerals … +++++////\\\\+++++ Her: Whatcha doing? Him: Nothing . Her: You did that yesterday . Him: I wasn't finished . +++++////\\\\+++++ A fly was buzzing around a barn one day when she happened upon a pile of fresh cow manure . Seeing it had been hours since she had had her last meal, she flew down and began to snack . Putting thoughts of just snacking aside, she ate and ate . And ate . Finally, she decided she had eaten enough and tried to fly away . She had eaten too much though, and could not get off the ground . As she looked around wondering what to do, she spotted a pitchfork leaning up against the wall . She climbed to the top of the handle and jumped off, thinking that once she got airborne, she would be able to take flight . Unfortunately she was wrong, she dropped like a rock, and splat! She hit the floor . Killed, dead! Are you ready for the moral of the story? Never fly off the handle when you know you're full of shi*t . :banana +++++////\\\\+++++ A vacationer called a seaside hotel to ask its location . "It's only a stone's throw from the beach," he was told . "But how will I recognize it?" asked the man . Came the reply: "It's the one with all the broken windows . " +++++////\\\\+++++ 8267 Have a great week, until next time :) |
WalOne (4202) | ||
| 1439003 | 2017-09-11 01:49:00 | Thanks Wal. A good selection. Much appreciated.:clap | Roscoe (6288) | ||
| 1439004 | 2017-09-11 07:56:00 | Thanks Wal | gary67 (56) | ||
| 1439005 | 2017-09-11 21:54:00 | Thanks Roscoe and Gary :) | WalOne (4202) | ||
| 1439006 | 2017-09-12 00:17:00 | It always makes my week regardless as to posts them | gary67 (56) | ||
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