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Thread ID: 84980	2007-11-25 19:39:00	Monday Laughs: In praise of older women.......and some defining thoughts.	Billy T (70)	PC World Chat

Post ID	Timestamp	Content	User
615091	2007-11-25 19:39:00	FINALLY, THE TRUTH!! As I grow in age, I value women who are over 40 most of all. Here are just a few reasons why: A woman over 40 will not lay next to you in bed and ask, "What are you thinking?" She doesn't care what you think. If a woman over 40 doesn't want to watch the game, she doesn't sit around whining about it. She does something she wants to do. And, it's usually something more interesting. A woman over 40 knows herself well enough to be assured in who she is, what she is, what she wants and from whom. Few women past the age of 40 give a damn what you might think about her or what she's doing. Women over 40 are dignified. They seldom have a screaming match with you at the opera or in the middle of an expensive restaurant. Of course, if you deserve it, they won't hesitate to shoot you, if they think they can get away with it. Older women are generous with praise, often undeserved. They know what it's like to be unappreciated. A woman over 40 has the self-assurance to introduce you to her women friends. A younger woman with a man will often ignore even her best friend because she doesn't trust the guy with other women. Women over 40 couldn't care less if you're attracted to her friends because she knows her friends won't betray her. Women get psychic as they age. You never have to confess your sins to a woman over 40. They always know. A woman over 40 looks good wearing bright red lipstick. This is not true of younger women or drag queens. Once you get past a wrinkle or two, a woman over 40 is far sexier than her younger counterpart. Older women are forthright and honest. They'll tell you right off if you are a jerk if you are acting like one! You don't ever have to wonder where you stand with her. Yes, we praise women over 40 for a multitude of reasons. Unfortunately, it's not reciprocal. For every stunning, smart, well-coiffed hot woman of 40+, there is a bald, paunchy relic in yellow pants making a fool of 40+ himself with some 22-year-old waitress. Ladies, I apologise. For all those men who say, "Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free." Here's an update for you. Nowadays 80% of women are against marriage, why? Because women realize it's not worth buying an entire pig, just to get a little sausage. *************************** Here's some definitions that make sense.........Someone had to do a lot of thinking to come up with these. ADULT: A person who has stopped growing at both ends and is now growing in the middle. BEAUTY PARLOR: A place where women curl up and dye. CANNIBAL: Someone who is fed up with people. CHICKENS: The only animals you eat before they are born and after they are dead. COMMITTEE: A body that keeps minutes and wastes hours. DUST: Mud with the juice squeezed out. EGOTIST: Someone who is usually me-deep in conversation. HANDKERCHIEF: Cold Storage. INFLATION: Cutting money in half without damaging the paper. MOSQUITO: An insect that makes you like flies better. RAISIN: A sunburned Grape. SECRET: Something you tell to one person at a time. SKELETON: A bunch of bones with the person scraped off. TOOTHACHE: The pain that drives you to extraction. TOMORROW: One of the greatest labor saving devices of today. YAWN: An honest opinion openly expressed. WRINKLES: Something other people have. You have character lines. Cheers Billy 8-{) :thumbs: Still got surplus stocks, might post more later!	Billy T (70)
615092	2007-11-25 19:51:00	TOMORROW: One of the greatest labor saving devices of today. Many people I know live by that definition.	Greven (91)
615093	2007-11-26 00:03:00	A nice bunch there Billy :thumbs: specially since I am stuck at home today and tomorrow... :badpc:	The_End_Of_Reality (334)
615094	2007-11-26 02:53:00	FINALLY, THE TRUTH!! As I grow in age, I value women who are over 40 most of all. Here are just a few reasons why: A woman over 40 will not lay next to you in bed and ask, "What are you thinking?" She doesn't care what you think. If a woman over 40 doesn't want to watch the game, she doesn't sit around whining about it. She does something she wants to do. And, it's usually something more interesting. A woman over 40 knows herself well enough to be assured in who she is, what she is, what she wants and from whom. Few women past the age of 40 give a damn what you might think about her or what she's doing. A woman over 40 has the self-assurance to introduce you to her women friends. A younger woman with a man will often ignore even her best friend because she doesn't trust the guy with other women. Women over 40 couldn't care less if you're attracted to her friends because she knows her friends won't betray her. Older women are forthright and honest. They'll tell you right off if you are a jerk if you are acting like one! You don't ever have to wonder where you stand with her. Ah, so thats it then. I thought it was because I'm marvellous, but no, I'm just an old bag.	pctek (84)
615095	2007-11-26 03:43:00	Have You Ever Been Guilty Of Looking At Others Your Own Age And Thinking, "Surely I Can't Look That Old . " Well . . . You'll Love This One . My Name Is Alice Smith And I Was Sitting In The Waiting Room For My First Appointment With A New Dentist . I Noticed His Dds Diploma, Which Bore His Full Name . Suddenly, I Remembered A Tall, Handsome, Dark-haired Boy With The Same Name Had Been In My High School Class Some 40-odd Years Ago . Could He Be The Same Guy That I Had A Secret Crush On, Way Back Then? Upon Seeing Him, However, I Quickly Discarded Any Such Thought . This Balding, Gray-haired Man With The Deeply Lined Face Was Way Too Old To have Been My Classmate . After He Examined My Teeth, I Asked Him If He had Attended Morgan Park High School "Yes . Yes, I Did . I'm A Mustang," He Gleamed With Pride . "When Did You Graduate?" I Asked . He Answered, "in 1959 . Why Do You Ask?" "you Were In My Class!", I Exclaimed . He Looked At Me Closely . Then, That Ugly, Old, Bald Wrinkled, Fat, Gray, Decrepit Son-of-a-***** Asked, "What Did You Teach?" Ken :D	kenj (9738)
615096	2007-11-26 04:15:00	I went to the cemetery yesterday, there were 4 pall bearers walking around with a coffin . 3 hours later they were still walking around with it . I thought to myself : " These buggers have lost the plot" An older lady was somewhat lonely and decided she needed a pet to keep her company . So, off to the pet shop she went . She searched and searched . None of the pets seemed to catch her interest, except this ugly frog As she walked by the jar he was in, she looked and he winked at her . He whispered, "I'M SO LONELY, TOO . BUY ME AND TAKE ME HOME YOU WON'T EVER BE SORRY . " The old lady figured, what the heck! She hadn't found anything else . So, she bought the frog . She placed him in the car, on the front seat beside her . As she was slowly driving down the road, the frog whispered to her "KISS ME AND YOU WON'T BE SORRY . " So! The old lady figured, WHAT THE HECK, and kissed the frog . IMMEDIATELY the frog turned into an absolutely gorgeous, sexy, young, handsome prince . THE PRINCE THEN RETURNED THE OLD LADY'S KISS . SUDDENLY THE OLD LADY FELT HERSELF TRANSFORMING FROM HIS KISS . NOW CAN YOU GUESS WHAT THE OLD LADY TURNED INTO? COME ON GUESS! SHE TURNED INTO THE FIRST HOLIDAY INN SHE COULD FIND!!! She's old . . . . . . . NOT DEAD !!!!! OLD LADIES ROCK .	Cicero (40)
615097	2007-11-26 08:09:00	COMMITTEE: A life form with 4 or more heads and no brain.	user (1404)
615098	2007-11-26 19:07:00	A Priest was about to finish his tour of duty, and was leaving his Mission in the jungle where he has spent years teaching the natives when he realizes that the one thing he never taught them was how to speak English . So he takes the chief for a walk in the forest . He points to a tree and says to the chief, "This is a tree . " The chief looks at the tree and grunts, "Tree . " The Priest is pleased with the response . They walk a little further and he points to a rock and says, "This is a rock . " Hearing this, the chief looks and grunts, "Rock . " The Priest was really getting enthusiastic about the results when he hears a rustling in the bushes . As they peek over the top, he sees a couple of natives in the midst of heavy sexual activity . The Priest is really flustered and quickly responds, "Man riding a bike . " The chief looks at the couple briefly, pulls out his blowgun and kills them . The Priest goes ballistic and yells at the chief that he has spent years teaching the tribe how to be civilized and be kind to each other, so how could he kill these people in cold blood that way? The chief replied, "My bike . " :D	smithie 38 (6684)
615099	2007-11-26 20:14:00	He he he he Billy, I cant wait til me girl turns 40 hahahaha	rob_on_guitar (4196)
615100	2007-11-27 03:18:00	Three men died on Christmas Eve on the way home from their staff christmas party, and as they arrived at the Pearly Gates they were met by Saint Peter . "In honour of this holy season" Saint Peter said, "to gain entry into heaven you must each have in your possession something that symbolises Christmas . " The first man fumbled through his pockets and pulled out a lighter . He flicked it on and said "This represents a christmas candle . " "Yes, and you may pass through the pearly gates" Saint Peter said . The second man reached into his pocket and pulled out a set of keys . He shook them and said, "These are christmas bells . " Saint Peter said "You too may pass through the pearly gates . " The third man started searching desperately through his pockets and finally pulled out a pair of women's panties . St . Peter looked at the man with a raised eyebrow and asked, 'And just what aspect of Christmas do those symbolise?" The man replied, "These are Carols . " And so the Christmas Season begins . . . . . . Cheers Billy 8-{) :D	Billy T (70)
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