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| Thread ID: 85313 | 2007-12-06 05:23:00 | Tech Advice Laughs | Winston001 (3612) | PC World Chat |
| Post ID | Timestamp | Content | User | ||
| 618403 | 2007-12-06 05:23:00 | Instead of stupid customers, here we have incompetent phone support..... www.rinkworks.com | Winston001 (3612) | ||
| 618404 | 2007-12-06 05:59:00 | Yes and some of them own conputer repair businesses and live in Tapanui. | pctek (84) | ||
| 618405 | 2007-12-06 06:38:00 | hahhahaaaaaaaaaaa......... | SolMiester (139) | ||
| 618406 | 2007-12-06 06:43:00 | Just finished reading them all. Many had me bawled over. :p | qazwsxokmijn (102) | ||
| 618407 | 2007-12-06 11:29:00 | So our internal tech support is outsourced to India. Im not kidding, this is roughly how the call went when I had troubles with the Internal LCS Office Communicator when talking to MSN contacts. Internal chat was fine, and I could chat using my MSN account from a Meebo window to other external people so it was ONLY Internal -> External faulty. Heres how the call roughly played out: ( * = India, # = Me) * Welcome to the **** Helpdesk, may I take your reference number ### I give him my employee details ### * OK may I place you on hold sir for two minutes while I bring up your details # Fine, if you must, dont ask but my details are fine and no I dont have a phone number you can ring me back on, you ask every time... * OK I'm placing you on hold -- Hold for 3-4 minutes -- * OK and are you still at this location **** ? # Yes, I just said that before, and No I dont have a phone number, Im an inbound call-centre and we only have the main line * OK thankyou sir, now before we can proceed, do you have a Telephone number? -- silence for about 5 seconds while I wonder if there are people on the planet seriously that thick -- # Are you serious? * Yes, do you have a Telephone number? # You have got to be kidding me! * No, I am not, I need a phone number in case our second level team needs to contact you # Umm.. OK... what did I just say 10 seconds ago? * That you have no phone number? # Yes, correct, I have no phone number, please dont ask again! * Then how will our second level support team contact you if they need to? # First off, I havent even told you my problem yet, dont go jumping the gun buddy. Secondly, they can email me or use snail-mail for all I care, but Im not giving you my personal cellphone number. I dont have one, please drop the subject! * OK, so what is the nature of your problem # Right, so using Office Communicator, I can talk fine to internal contacts, but not to MSN contacts. I can login to Web Messenger with my personal account and talk fine to external contacts, but not from my Internal work acount. * Im sorry Sir, you will need to ring Microsoft # Errr... why? * Because this is an MSN problem # But I just told you that when I use a Web Messenger it works fine talking to other people, but not when I use my own work internal address! * Yes, that is a problem with MSN, you will need to ring Microsoft # No, mate, listen to me, Im not ringing Microsoft, its a problem we have internally here. * That makes no sense # Dude, seriously, I dont care, just get your Team Leader on the phone, I dont want to bother with this right now * OK let me place you on hold -- 3 minutes later... -- * OK are you there? # Yes, is this the Team Leader? * No # I just said I dont have time to be messed around, I want the Team Leader there please, now! * He cant come to the phone right now # Then your Subject Matter Expert? * I spoke with him, he told me to raise this for you. # Excellent, thankyou, just send it off, give me the reference number for this call and I'll follow it up myself and give them the details they need directly * OK, but first before we can proceed I need a Telephone number from you I went home early that day due to phsycological reasons... Dunno if anybody will actually read all that I just wrote, but it was fun writing it anyways :P every time we call, its like that :( |
Chilling_Silence (9) | ||
| 618408 | 2007-12-06 17:40:00 | With all this out-sourcing, I do wonder what it's going to be like when The Yellow Pages outsource to the Philippines Caller: I'd like a number in Fa-ca-ta-neh (Whakatane) please Filipino on other end: Please do not swear at me sir, can I help you? (on the assumption that Billy Connelly was indeed right, and the F work is internationally known :p) |
Myth (110) | ||
| 618409 | 2007-12-06 18:54:00 | This sort of thing is a worry when you think that our call centres are being outsourced. www.dtvforum.co.nz Ken ;) |
kenj (9738) | ||
| 618410 | 2007-12-06 19:47:00 | Real ones I've heard: Xtra Dialup Helpdesk: (Customer just signed up to dialup and couldn't get connection) Customer: I am getting error xxx. HD: What operating system are you using? Customer: Windows 98. HD: Oh, you will need to buy a new computer, that one is too old and can't do this digital stuff. ------------------------------- Xtra Broadband Helpdesk: Customer signed up to Xtra broadband, received Dlink and can't connect. I took her Dlink home and tried it on my Xnet connection (with my details) and it wouldn't connect. I tried my spare Dlink at her place with her details and it was fine. We rang Xtra. Me: Dlink is faulty, customer can't get a connection, please send another. Xtra: No - <proceeds to do the usual check settings stuff> Me: I tried it at my house on my connection with my details and it doesn't connect. Xtra: Thats because you are not with Xtra. Me: No, I changed it to my settings. Also I tried my spare modem here for your customer and that works fine. Xtra: Thats not possible, yours won't work for her. Me: Go look at the connection log, you will see its connected right now. Using my Dlink. Send her another one or put me through to someone who understands what they are doing. They sent her another and she hasn't had a problem since. ------------- Fisher & Paykel. They had a number of Everex PCs, left over from a bad idea about selling them. They were known to have bad PSUs, motherboards etc and ended up being used for staff. One of them lost all IDE fuctionality on the board. I went to the IT Manager and said we needed to get a new motherboard for the PC. He told me I should just connect the hard drive to the sound card instead. |
pctek (84) | ||
| 618411 | 2007-12-06 19:58:00 | Yes and some of them own conputer repair businesses and live in Tapanui. I guess living in Tapanui and having your PC break down you have to weigh up getting the local not so great local to fix it, or, take it to Invercargill, or, learn to repair it yourself. I guess it can be hard to get good repairs done in the Country, I have not really thought about it before. pctek I thought you lived in Winton or near there somewhere. (me=Outram) |
Bantu (52) | ||
| 618412 | 2007-12-06 20:46:00 | * When you call us to have your computer moved, be sure to leave it buried under half a ton of postcards, baby pictures, stuffed animals, dried flowers, bowling trophies and children's art. We don't have a life, and we find it deeply moving to catch a fleeting glimpse of yours. * Don't write anything down. Ever. We can play back the error messages from our video recording. * When an IT person says he's coming right over, go for coffee. That way you won't be there when we need your password. It's nothing for us to remember 300 screen saver passwords. * When IT Support sends you an e-mail with high importance, delete it at once. We're just testing. * When an IT person is eating lunch at his desk, walk right in and spill your guts right out. We don't even like eating food, we exist only to serve. * Send urgent e-mail all in uppercase. The mail server picks it up and flags it as a rush delivery. * When we do something as a favour in our own time at our own expense, feel free to criticise us. * That's OK, we don't expect you to lift anything or get under your desk. Manual labour was part of our IT degree. * When the photocopier doesn't work, call Computer Support. There's electronics in it. When you're getting a NO DIAL TONE message at home, call Computer Support. We can fix your telephone line from here. When something's wrong with your home PC, dump it on an IT person's chair with no name, no phone number and no description of the problem. We love a puzzle. * When an IT person tells you that computer screens don't have cartridges in them, argue. We love a good argument. * When an IT person tells you that he'll be there shortly, reply in a scathing tone of voice: "And just how many weeks do you mean by shortly?" That motivates us. * When the printer won't print, re-send the job at least 20 times. Print jobs frequently get sucked into black holes. When the printer still won't print after 20 tries, send the job to all 68 printers in the company. One of them is bound to work. * Don't learn the proper name for anything technical. We know exactly what is meant by "my thingy blew up". * When you call someone in to fix a problem - but don't tell them about the other 10 problems until they physically arrive. That's OK - we can clear our schedule for the rest of the day. * Don't use on-line help. On-line help is for wimps. * When your application can't do what you want... blame us, we write all the software that runs on your PC and can customise it on the fly. Bill Gates lets us do this. * Remember the IT guy doesn't need to think - he has seen every problem before. * If the mouse cable keeps knocking down the framed picture of your dog, lift the computer and stuff the cable under it. Mouse cables were designed to have 20 kg of computer sitting on top of them. * If the space bar on your keyboard doesn't work, blame it on the mail/NT/network upgrade. Keyboards are actually very happy with half a pound of muffin crumbs and nail clippings in them. * When you find an IT person on the phone, sit uninvited on the corner of his desk and stare at him until he hangs up. * Feel perfectly free to say things like "I don't know nothing about that computer crap." We don't mind at all hearing our area of professional expertise referred to as crap. * When you need to change the toner cartridge in a printer, call IT Support. Changing a toner cartridge is an extremely complex task, and Hewlett-Packard recommends that it be performed only by a professional engineer with a Master's degree in nuclear physics. * When you think the network/e-mail/office application is going slow, call us as we have a button to press that makes it go back to it's normal speed. * When something's the matter with your computer, ask your secretary to call the help desk. We enjoy the challenge of having to deal with a third party who doesn't know about the problem. * The instant you call us (on our mobile) - we can see what's happening on your screen and can solve it instantaneously. * Be aware that IT people don't need to use the toilet. So you have a right to be upset if we don't answer the phone. * When you receive a 30MB movie file, send it to everyone as a mail attachment. We've got lots of disk space on that mail server. * When an IT person gets in the lift pushing $100,000 worth of computer equipment on a trolley, ask in a very loud voice, "Good grief, you take the lift to go DOWN one floor?" * When you lose your car keys, send an e-mail to the entire company. People need to know. * Don't worry, we were sitting there waiting for your call. The whole day. |
SKT174 (1319) | ||
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