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Thread ID: 85440 2007-12-10 09:00:00 Where's the Monday Laughs at? radium (8645) PC World Chat
Post ID Timestamp Content User
619969 2007-12-11 05:32:00 [QUOTE=SurferJoe46;623059]
A 'jiffy' is an actual unit of time for 1/100th of a second.
QUOTE]


Ahhh, is that why people say 'Just a jiffy!' or 'I'll fix it in just a jiffy'.
rob_on_guitar (4196)
619970 2007-12-11 08:47:00 I happen to know that an Emu has a new day every eye blink....they are totally untrainable.

I cannot speak for the voracity of the rest of the c/p...but it was fun anyway.Voracity? Or veracity - methinks someone is identifying too much with his avatar!! :D
johcar (6283)
619971 2007-12-11 15:31:00 Voracity? Or veracity - methinks someone is identifying too much with his avatar!! :D


I could say it was a typo---but the "e" and the "o" are too far apart . . . although the key designations are wearing thin on the imprint and I cannot tell them apart very well .

When they go blank . . . I'll be mute .

ya got me!
SurferJoe46 (51)
619972 2007-12-11 22:52:00 A tour bus driver drives with a bus full of seniors down a highway, when a little old lady taps him on his shoulder .

She offers him a handful of almonds, which he gratefully munches up .

After approx . 15 minutes, she taps him on his shoulder again and she hands him another handful of almonds . She repeats this gesture about eight times .

He asks her why they do not eat almonds themselves .

Whereupon she replies that it is not possible because of their old/false teeth . They are not able to chew them .

"Why do you buy them then?" he asks puzzled .

The old lady answers: "We just love the chocolate around them . "

:D :D :D
johcar (6283)
619973 2007-12-12 07:45:00 Went swimming the other week , but everyone would just stare at me at keep their distance, i thought to myself whats the matter with me....

so I goes for a shower n notice the S had fell off of my spedos!
radium (8645)
619974 2007-12-13 00:27:00 Four men were bragging about how smart their cats are (as you do). The first man was an engineer, the second man was an accountant, the third man was a chemist, the fourth was a government Worker.

To show off, the engineer called to his cat. "T-square, do your stuff." T-square pranced over to a desk, took out some paper and a pen and promptly drew a circle, a square, and a triangle. Everyone agreed that was pretty smart.

But the accountant said his cat could do better. He called his cat and said, "Spreadsheet, do your stuff." Spreadsheet went out into the kitchen and returned with a dozen cookies. He divided them into 4 equal piles of 3 cookies each. Everyone agreed that was good.

But the chemist said his cat could do better. He called his cat and said, "Measure, do your stuff." Measure got up, walked over to the fridge, took out a quart of milk, got a 10 ounce glass from the cupboard and poured exactly 8 ounces without spilling a drop. Everyone agreed that was good (whatever a 'quart' and an 'ounce' are).

Then the three men turned to the government worker and said, "What can your cat do?" The government worker called to his cat and said, "Coffee Break, do your stuff." Coffee Break jumped to his feet, ate the cookies, drank the milk, peed on the paper, sexually assaulted the other three cats, claimed he injured his back while doing so, filed a grievance report for unsafe working conditions, put in for Workers Compensation and went home for the rest of the day on sick leave.
stu161204 (123)
619975 2007-12-13 00:33:00 The cruise liner, QE 2, moves only six inches for each gallon of fuel that it burns.

Ha! So does me friggin' car! :(
allblack (6574)
619976 2007-12-14 05:09:00 My favorite joke, it could be real


While proudly showing off his new apartment to a couple of work friends one early morning, the drunk led his way along the hall way to one of the bedrooms where there was a big brass gong standing in the hall.

"What's this big brass gong for?" one of the friends asked. "Why, that's not a gong its my talking clock" really!! one of the friends asked as they both had a closer look, then the other friend said "How does it work?" "Watch", the drunk said as he gave it an ear-shattering pound with a hard rubber hammer.

Both friends looked at each other for a short while in amazement, then suddenly someone on the other side of the wall in the next apartment screamed YOU [BUZZ] [BUZZ] ITS 10 PAST 3 IN THE [BUZZ] MORNING!!"
nrrrta (11415)
619977 2007-12-15 03:49:00 2 old women sat in a cafe. margaret says to ethal "did you come on the bus?" she replies "Yeah but i made it look like an asthma attack" radium (8645)
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