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| Thread ID: 85859 | 2007-12-24 13:20:00 | where's santa? | motorbyclist (188) | PC World Chat |
| Post ID | Timestamp | Content | User | ||
| 624357 | 2007-12-24 13:20:00 | well it's now just past 2AM on christmas day and still no sign of him... maybe the pf1 clock has stuffed him up... he should be coming - i saw on TV that his phone vibrated him out of that ice... lucky he hit that and not a cheesecutter maybe some dangerous dogs have held him up... or boy racers have crashed into his sled.... maybe a drunk driver? maybe a ticket for speeding all over NZ? i wonder if he has a radar detector... when he turns up i'll have to ask how many demerit points he gets this time of the year... maybe he has a work licence? at this rate i'll be eating his milk and cookies, plus i don't want to be contributing to the obesity epidemic or he wont be allowed into the country next time... maybe he could take them to africa for me? how many iphones do you reckon he's carrying? i'm sure WMG could have given give us a link to an article on the apple website about increasing growth of gifting of the new iSanta range of products:rolleyes: - i wonder if santa uses a mac or a pc are all the DVDs, music and software legally licenced or do the elves pirate it? does he give out the wii, xbox360 or PS3? and which version of vista did he choose? - maybe he stuck with XP..... but then again that's still pretty expensive... what flavour of linux? penguins don't live in the artic, so which version has a polar bear? does a sleigh have lower emissions than a jet/helicopter? does he have to buy carbon credits for all the coal he gives out, or do the recipients? what with his home melting and all you'd think it's very irresponsible of him to be giving out coal! good thing he invested in reindeer rather than polar bears though.... especially if the fart tax went through what if he used whales? i bet they could carry alot of presents - but he'd need to avoid the japanese does the spca approve of his treatment of reindeer? does maf/customs approve all this international travel of the reindeer and illegal importation of goods? will he be shot down flying over iraq? if he survives that what about when he reaches the states? would he be a terrorist or a UFO? and is he welcome in tuhoe nation? i bet his acc levies for all the elves must be huge! maybe he outsources some labour to china? can we still trust the toys are safe? how many negative feedbacks on trademe does he have? i see he wears red, so does that make him a labour supporter? can national buy him and make him blue? i'm pretty sure the new rules make that possible... but then if he IS working for labour, can Starship accept all the presents? and what if the security catches him in the children's hospital? i see in the mall kids weren't allowed to sit on his lap this year, i'd hate to think what would happen if he got caught sneaking into the kid's wards/rooms at night and emptying his sacks?:p i do hope no roaming teenagers go dropping concrete on him as he goes under bridges... is it ok for santa to smack children? probably not.... though if he flew his sled into a party/group of people i wonder if he'd get punished at all i wonder if there's an NCEA acheivement standard on toymaking or toy delivery, and does he have to pay interest on his student loan if he lives overseas? - wouldn't want him to be the wrong man for the job, and going to uni next year might be a bit more difficult now that more courses actually have prerequisites... ah well, Merry Christmas everyone!:thumbs: and what must surely be a brighter (or at least globally warmer) new year:lol: |
motorbyclist (188) | ||
| 624358 | 2007-12-24 19:26:00 | All of that! :D :D :D And a Merry Christmas to you all as well. Ken |
kenj (9738) | ||
| 624359 | 2007-12-24 20:11:00 | Far too many questions!! :D :D :D All pertinent though - well done! Have a great xmas, everyone. |
johcar (6283) | ||
| 624360 | 2007-12-24 20:54:00 | well done that was a good read / laugh.... but the question was why ? and is the answer 42? :p Merry Christmas. beetle |
beetle (243) | ||
| 624361 | 2007-12-24 21:30:00 | ♪♫♪ I saw mommy kissing Santa Claus. So I had him arrested for sexual harassment last niiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight. ♪♫♪ |
bob_doe_nz (92) | ||
| 624362 | 2007-12-24 21:41:00 | well it's now just past 2AM on christmas day and still no sign of him... maybe the pf1 clock has stuffed him up... he should be coming - i saw on TV that his phone vibrated him out of that ice... lucky he hit that and not a cheesecutter maybe some dangerous dogs have held him up... or boy racers have crashed into his sled.... maybe a drunk driver? maybe a ticket for speeding all over NZ? i wonder if he has a radar detector... when he turns up i'll have to ask how many demerit points he gets this time of the year... maybe he has a work licence? at this rate i'll be eating his milk and cookies, plus i don't want to be contributing to the obesity epidemic or he wont be allowed into the country next time... maybe he could take them to africa for me? how many iphones do you reckon he's carrying? i'm sure WMG could have given give us a link to an article on the apple website about increasing growth of gifting of the new iSanta range of products:rolleyes: - i wonder if santa uses a mac or a pc are all the DVDs, music and software legally licenced or do the elves pirate it? does he give out the wii, xbox360 or PS3? and which version of vista did he choose? - maybe he stuck with XP..... but then again that's still pretty expensive... what flavour of linux? penguins don't live in the artic, so which version has a polar bear? does a sleigh have lower emissions than a jet/helicopter? does he have to buy carbon credits for all the coal he gives out, or do the recipients? what with his home melting and all you'd think it's very irresponsible of him to be giving out coal! good thing he invested in reindeer rather than polar bears though.... especially if the fart tax went through what if he used whales? i bet they could carry alot of presents - but he'd need to avoid the japanese does the spca approve of his treatment of reindeer? does maf/customs approve all this international travel of the reindeer and illegal importation of goods? will he be shot down flying over iraq? if he survives that what about when he reaches the states? would he be a terrorist or a UFO? and is he welcome in tuhoe nation? i bet his acc levies for all the elves must be huge! maybe he outsources some labour to china? can we still trust the toys are safe? how many negative feedbacks on trademe does he have? i see he wears red, so does that make him a labour supporter? can national buy him and make him blue? i'm pretty sure the new rules make that possible... but then if he IS working for labour, can Starship accept all the presents? and what if the security catches him in the children's hospital? i see in the mall kids weren't allowed to sit on his lap this year, i'd hate to think what would happen if he got caught sneaking into the kid's wards/rooms at night and emptying his sacks?:p i do hope no roaming teenagers go dropping concrete on him as he goes under bridges... is it ok for santa to smack children? probably not.... though if he flew his sled into a party/group of people i wonder if he'd get punished at all i wonder if there's an NCEA acheivement standard on toymaking or toy delivery, and does he have to pay interest on his student loan if he lives overseas? - wouldn't want him to be the wrong man for the job, and going to uni next year might be a bit more difficult now that more courses actually have prerequisites... ah well, Merry Christmas everyone!:thumbs: and what must surely be a brighter (or at least globally warmer) new year:lol: I think you might of got an E for xmas and just didn't know it. Merry xmas everyone:thumbs: |
plod (107) | ||
| 624363 | 2007-12-24 21:42:00 | An oldie but a goodie: ________________________________________ Santa Claus:An Engineers Perspective I. There are approximately two billion children (persons under 18) in the world. However, since Santa does not visit children of Muslim, Hindu, Jewish or Buddhist religions, this reduces the workload for Christmas night to 15% of the total, or 378 million (according to the Population Reference Bureau). At an average (census) rate of 3.5 children per house hold, that comes to 108 million homes, presuming that there is at least one good child in each. II. Santa has about 31 hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to the different time zones and the rotation of the earth, assuming he travels east to west (which seems logical). This works out to 967.7 visits per second. This is to say that for each Christian household with a good child, Santa has around 1/1000th of a second to park the sleigh, hop out, jump down the chimney, fill the stockings, distribute the remaining presents under the tree, eat whatever snacks have been left for him, get back up the chimney, jump into the sleigh and get on to the next house. Assuming that each of these 108 million stops is evenly distributed around the earth (which, of course, we know to be false, but will accept for the purposes of our calculations), we are now talking about 0.78 miles per household; a total trip of 75.5 million miles, not counting bathroom stops or breaks. This means Santa's sleigh is moving at 650 miles per second --- 3,000 times the speed of sound. For purposes of comparison, the fastest man-made vehicle, the Ulysses space probe, moves at a poky 27.4 miles per second, and a conventional reindeer can run (at best) 15 miles per hour. III. The payload of the sleigh adds another interesting element. Assuming that each child gets nothing more than a medium sized Lego set (two pounds), the sleigh is carrying over 500 thousand tons, not counting Santa himself. On land, a conventional reindeer can pull no more than 300 pounds. Even granting that the "flying" reindeer could pull ten times the normal amount, the job can't be done with eight or even nine of them--- Santa would need 360,000 of them. This increases the payload, not counting the weight of the sleigh, another 54,000 tons, or roughly seven times the weight of the Queen Elizabeth (the ship, not the monarch). IV. 600,000 tons traveling at 650 miles per second creates enormous air resistance --- this would heat up the reindeer in the same fashion as a spacecraft re-entering the earth's atmosphere. The lead pair of reindeer would absorb 14.3 quintillion joules of energy per second each. In short, they would burst into flames almost instantaneously, exposing the reindeer behind them and creating deafening sonic booms in their wake. The entire reindeer team would be vaporized within 4.26 thousandths of a second, or right about the time Santa reached the fifth house on his trip. Not that it matters, however, since Santa, as a result of accellerating from a dead stop to 650 m.p.s. in .001 seconds, would be subjected to centrifugal forces of 17,500 g's. A 250 pound Santa (which seems ludicrously slim) would be pinned to the back of the sleigh by 4,315,015 pounds of force, instantly crushing his bones and organs and reducing him to a quivering blob of pink goo. Therefore, if Santa did exist, he's dead now. |
andrew93 (249) | ||
| 624364 | 2007-12-24 21:53:00 | Well done mootorbyclist, Good read I think you might of got an E for xmas and just didn't know it . You and I are definitely on the same page plod - from this and pervious posts I can tell . I Love my E too :thumbs: Great stuff, good times |
radium (8645) | ||
| 624365 | 2007-12-24 22:00:00 | Watch out for "pervious" posts or it won't be Santa, it'll be Jan visiting.:angry ;) |
R2x1 (4628) | ||
| 624366 | 2007-12-24 22:35:00 | Watch out for "pervious" posts or it won't be Santa, it'll be Jan visiting.:angry ;) It's all good ;) |
radium (8645) | ||
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