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| Thread ID: 85855 | 2007-12-24 08:52:00 | Christmas jokes. | bob_doe_nz (92) | PC World Chat |
| Post ID | Timestamp | Content | User | ||
| 624372 | 2007-12-24 08:52:00 | I don't think I saw a Xmas Jokes list. So I pulled a 10 ten worst Xmas jokes found in Christmas crackers. The Top 10 worst Christmas cracker jokes were: 1) What is Santa's favourite pizza? One that's deep pan, crisp and even 2) On which side do chickens have most feathers? On the outside 3) What kind of paper likes music? (W)rapping paper 4) What's white and goes up? A confused snowflake 5) What do you call a woman who stands between two goal posts? Annette 6) Did you hear about the man who bought a paper shop? It blew away. 7) What's furry and minty? A polo bear 8) How do snowmen get around? They ride an icicle 9) Who hides in the bakery at Christmas? A mince spy! 10) What do you call a penguin in the Sahara desert? Lost Enjoy the dryness that they are. I'm off to prepare my BBQ in a bucket for tomorrow. |
bob_doe_nz (92) | ||
| 624373 | 2007-12-24 09:57:00 | If you have trouble differentiating between weasels and stoats, just remember that whereas one is weasily distinguished, the other is stoatally different. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Back in the 1800s the Tates Watch Company of Massachusetts wanted to produce other products and, since they already made the cases for pocket watches, decided to market compasses for the pioneers traveling west. It turned out that although their watches were of finest quality, their compasses were so bad that people often ended up in Canada or Mexico rather than California. This, of course, is the origin of the expression, "He who has a Tates is lost!" ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ An Indian chief was feeling very sick, so he summoned the medicine man. After a brief examination, the medicine man took out a long, thin strip of elk hide and gave it to the chief, instructing him to bite off, chew and swallow one inch of the leather every day. After a month, the medicine man returned to see how the chief was feeling. The chief shrugged and said, "The thong is ended, but the malady lingers on." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ A famous Viking explorer returned home from a voyage and found his name missing from the town register. His wife insisted on complaining to the local civic official who apologized profusely saying, "I must have taken Leif off my census." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ A marine biologist developed an aphrodisiac for dolphins made from just hatched baby seagulls. One day his supply of the hatchlings ran out, so he had to go out and trap some more. On the way back, he spied two lions asleep on the road. Afraid to wake them, he gingerly stepped over them. Immediately, he was arrested and charged with transporting young gulls across sedate lions for immoral porpoises. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Years ago, the band Lipps, Inc. had a hit "Funkytown." It was the only hit they ever had, but their producer, Lewis Karpinski, made a ton of money off of it. A sailing buff, he bought several boats, eventually getting better known for his cruise line. Nobody really remembers "Funkytown" any more, but everybody knows... Lou's Lipps, Inc ships. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ While feeling rather board, I rolled up the carpet to see the floor show. Alas I had to put the carpet back as there were too many dirty cracks. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Or just this. (ars.userfriendly.org) |
R2x1 (4628) | ||
| 624374 | 2007-12-24 20:20:00 | If you have trouble differentiating between weasels and stoats, just remember that whereas one is weasily distinguished, the other is stoatally different. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Back in the 1800s the Tates Watch Company of Massachusetts wanted to produce other products and, since they already made the cases for pocket watches, decided to market compasses for the pioneers traveling west. It turned out that although their watches were of finest quality, their compasses were so bad that people often ended up in Canada or Mexico rather than California. This, of course, is the origin of the expression, "He who has a Tates is lost!" ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ An Indian chief was feeling very sick, so he summoned the medicine man. After a brief examination, the medicine man took out a long, thin strip of elk hide and gave it to the chief, instructing him to bite off, chew and swallow one inch of the leather every day. After a month, the medicine man returned to see how the chief was feeling. The chief shrugged and said, "The thong is ended, but the malady lingers on." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ A famous Viking explorer returned home from a voyage and found his name missing from the town register. His wife insisted on complaining to the local civic official who apologized profusely saying, "I must have taken Leif off my census." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ A marine biologist developed an aphrodisiac for dolphins made from just hatched baby seagulls. One day his supply of the hatchlings ran out, so he had to go out and trap some more. On the way back, he spied two lions asleep on the road. Afraid to wake them, he gingerly stepped over them. Immediately, he was arrested and charged with transporting young gulls across sedate lions for immoral porpoises. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Years ago, the band Lipps, Inc. had a hit "Funkytown." It was the only hit they ever had, but their producer, Lewis Karpinski, made a ton of money off of it. A sailing buff, he bought several boats, eventually getting better known for his cruise line. Nobody really remembers "Funkytown" any more, but everybody knows... Lou's Lipps, Inc ships. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ While feeling rather board, I rolled up the carpet to see the floor show. Alas I had to put the carpet back as there were too many dirty cracks. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Or just this. (ars.userfriendly.org) Shouldn't these have been in the recent pun thread?? :eek: :cool: :lol: :lol: |
johcar (6283) | ||
| 624375 | 2007-12-24 20:25:00 | Yep. ;) |
R2x1 (4628) | ||
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