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Thread ID: 86038	2008-01-01 04:08:00	You Might Be Over 40 And Overweight If....	SurferJoe46 (51)	PC World Chat

Post ID	Timestamp	Content	User
626302	2008-01-01 04:08:00	You reach down to pull the wrinkles up on your socks and realize you aren't wearing any . You and your teeth have separate sleeping accommodations . God speaks to your through Krispy Kremes . If there's ever a famine, you realize that you'll outlive the joggers . You sit down to breakfast and hear "snap-crackle and pop" and your not eating cereal . _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ A guy hails a taxi and asks the driver to take him to the store, and since the trip is normally only five or ten minutes, after twenty-five minutes he is still riding . Thinking that the driver may not know where he is going, the passenger reaches up and taps the driver on the shoulder . All of a sudden the driver slams on the brakes and skids off the road, into a ravine and comes to stop in a big tree . They both get out and while they are checking for any broken bones and dusting themselves off, the passenger says: "I'm sorry I scared you sir, the accident is my fault" . The driver says: "No . . the accident is all mine . It's my first day on the job as a taxi driver . . . I used to drive a hearse . " _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ A fellow named "Odd" confided in his wife that he hated his name, and that if they ever had a baby, he did NOT want to have the name continue . . . even more, he asked, no . . . he pleaded with her to not put his name on his headstone when he died . Years go by and he dies and she calls the grown children to her and tells them that their dad so hated his name that he didn't want it on his headstone, and so they agreed . There it was . . . the date he was born; the date he died and no name . People walking by in the cemetery, seeing the inscription with just the dates and no other information . . . always say "That's odd!" _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ I'm not saying that woman was ugly . . . she's just barely pretty . _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ If a number 2 pencil is the most popular pencil in the world, why isn't it number 1? If we're here to help others, what are the others here for? What happens if you get scared half to death . . . twice? _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ A couple, married in the Baptist Church went fourteen years without a baby . Late one night they knocked on the deacon's door and as he groggily opened the door, they said that the Lord had spoken to them and told them to get annointed with oil by the preacher . He preacher stared at them a minute and called his wife, asking her to bring the Holy Anointing Oil from the vestibule . She returned a few minutes later, saying she could not find it, but would the "3-In-1" oil work? Not wanting to lose any more sleep, he pours some of the oil on their foreheads and tells them to go back home and that the Lord would have to work it out from there . Nine months later, the preacher gets a call from the maternity hospital, asking that he come see the miracle for himself, and sure enough he sees that they had triplets . He takes the father aside and says that he's sorry that he had used the 3-in-1 oil on them as a substitute . The dad said: "That's alright . . . I'm just glad you didn't use the WD-40" .	SurferJoe46 (51)
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