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Thread ID: 144371	2017-09-25 05:51:00	MONDAY LAUGHS ... Sex and Seven year Olds	WalOne (4202)	PC World Chat

Post ID	Timestamp	Content	User
1439726	2017-09-25 05:51:00	I promise. No Morning After jokes. No Political jokes ... :banana :D:D One parent approached another parent at the school bus stop. “I need to talk to you about your son,” the parent said angrily, “It seems that your son is playing doctor with my Bethany!” “It’s normal for 7-year-olds to be curious about sex,” the second parent smiled. “Sex!” the first parent screamed. “He took out Bethany’s appendix!” +++++\\\\\/////+++++ :) My wife told me: ‘Sex is better on holiday.’ That wasn’t a very nice postcard to receive. :rolleyes: I like Jesus but he loves me, so it's awkward. :lol: Standing in the park, I was wondering why a Frisbee gets larger the closer it gets. Then it hit me. :groan: Hedgehogs – why can’t they just share the hedge? :lol: The anti-ageing advert that I would like to see is a baby covered in cream saying, ‘AAAAH, I’ve used too much!!' +++++\\\\\/////+++++ Jay, an American, was commissioned to write a book about famous churches around the world. Firstly, Jay bought a plane ticket and took a trip to Columbus, Ohio, thinking that he would start by working his way across the USA from East to West. On his first day, he was inside a church taking photographs when he noticed a gold looking telephone mounted on the wall with a sign that read "$10,000 per call". Jay was intrigued so he asked a nearby priest what the telephone was used for. The priest replied that it was a direct line to heaven and that for $10,000 you could talk to God. Jay thanked the priest and went along his way. Next stop was in Des Moines, Iowa and there at their cathedral, he saw the same gold telephone with the same sign under it. Jay wondered if this was the same kind of telephone he had seen in Columbus and he asked a nun what its purpose was. She told him that it was a direct line to heaven and that for $10,000 he could talk to God. Seriously polite, Jay thanked the nun for her help. Jay then travelled all across America, Canada, England, Europe, and Japan. In every church he saw the same gold telephone with the same "$US10,000 per call" sign under it. Jay decided to travel to the southern hemisphere to New Zealand to see if they had a similar phone. He arrived in Auckland, and again, in the first church he entered, there was the same gold telephone, but this time the sign under it read "40 cents + GST per call." Somewhat surprised, Jay asked a priest about the sign. 'Father, I've travelled all over the world and I've seen this same gold telephone in many churches. I'm told that it is a direct line to Heaven, but in all of them price was $10,000 per call. Why is it so cheap here?' The priest smiled and answered, 'My son, you're in New Zealand now - this is God’s Own, so it's only a local call.' +++++\\\\\/////+++++ New, Improved Parking Lot With the high rate of attacks on women in secluded parking lots, especially during evening hours, the Melbourne City Council, Australia has established a "Women Only" parking lot. Even the parking lot attendants are exclusively female so that a comfortable and safe environment is created for patrons. Please see below for the first picture available of this world-first parking lot in Australia: 8304 +++++\\\\\/////+++++ Bruce went to the police station and asked to speak to the burglar who had broken into his house the previous night. 'You'll get your chance in court,' the desk Sergeant Kelly told him. 'I have to know how he got into the house without waking my wife,' pleaded Bruce. 'I've been trying to do that for years.' +++++\\\\\/////+++++ What did Anne Boleyn's mother say when her daughter said that she had fallen in love with Henry VIII and was going to marry him? That man's not worth losing your head over. +++++\\\\\/////+++++ Dave and Peter, two Englishmen, are walking along O'Connell Street, in Dublin, when they see a sign in a shop window: Suits £15.00, shirts £2.00, trousers £2.50. Peter says to Dave, 'Look at that - we could buy a lot of that gear and, when we get back to England we could make a fortune. When we go into the shop don't say anything, let me do all the talking, because if they hear our accent they might not serve us, so I'll speak in my best Irish accent.' They go in and Peter orders, 50 suits at £15.00, 100 shirts at £2.00 and 50 trousers at £2.50. The owner of the shop says, 'You're English aren't you?' Peter replies 'Oh bother... Yes, how on earth did you know that?' The owner says, 'This is a dry cleaners...‘ +++++\\\\\/////+++++ The largest celebration of FPV drone racing with 8 disciplines, around 300 pilots and countless volunteers and sponsors. 5 days of packed action, fierce competition and awesome camaraderie! TBS presents the recap of the MultiGP International Open 2017 Team Blacksheep RIOT MultiGP International OPEN 2017 Click HERE (www.youtube.com) Video 5:14 +++++\\\\\/////+++++ Nobody really expected me not to rub it in, did they? 8303 Cheers everybody, until next week ... :p:p:p	WalOne (4202)
1439727	2017-09-25 07:08:00	Thanks, Wal. Another good lot of laughs - particularly the political one!	Roscoe (6288)
1439728	2017-09-25 07:57:00	Good to see that the Irish have English jokes.	Bobh (5192)
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