Forum Home
PC World Chat
 
Thread ID: 86750 2008-01-27 21:21:00 Monday Laughs: Lawyers, and other oddities....... Billy T (70) PC World Chat
Post ID Timestamp Content User
634512 2008-01-28 01:03:00 These are actual questons asked by lawyers during trials and the answers given by witnesses:

1. "Now, Dr., isn't it true that when a person sides in his sleep, he doesn't know anything about it till the next morning?"

2. "The youngest son, the twenty-year old, how old is he?"

3. "Were you present when your picture was taken?"

4. "Were you alone or by yourself?"

5. "Was it you or your younger brother who was killed in the way?"

6. "Did he kill you?"

7. "How far apart were the vehicles at the time of the collision?" 		Mercury (1316)
634513 2008-01-28 02:15:00 Those answers seem a bit evasive. ;) R2x1 (4628)
634514 2008-01-28 03:08:00 True. Was copying from a piece of paper and didn't double check it. Mercury (1316)
634515 2008-01-28 03:32:00 Becky, who belonged to a synagogue group devoted to visiting and helping the
sick members of her congregation, was out making her rounds visiting
homebound patients when she ran out of gas . As luck would have it, a gas
station was just a block away .

She walked to the station to borrow a gas can and buy some gas . The
attendant told her the only gas can he owned had been loaned out but she
could wait until it was returned .

Since Becky was on the way to see another patient, and behind schedule, she
decided not to wait and walked back to her car . She looked for something in
her car that she could fill with gas and spotted the bedpan she always had
handy for needy patients

Always resourceful, she carried the bedpan to the station, filled it with
gas, and carried the full bedpan back to her car which was decorated with
many Hebrew decals and bumper stickers .

As she was pouring the gas into her tank, two men watched from across the
street . One of them turned to the other and said:

"If it starts, I'm converting to Judaism . " 		Cicero (40)
634516 2008-01-28 04:01:00 "If it starts, I'm converting to Judaism . "

oh man that made me laugh so hard :lol:

i know im going to remember this joke when the petrol light pops on in my car on the way home tonight :o 		MAC_H8ER (5897)
634517 2008-01-28 04:09:00 oh man that made me laugh so hard :lol:

i know im going to remember this joke when the petrol light pops on in my car on the way home tonight :o

We aim to please so to speak . 		Cicero (40)
634518 2008-01-28 10:22:00 Keep Dreaming

After she woke up, a woman told her husband, "I just dreamed that you gave me a pearl necklace for our anniversary . What do you think it means?"

"You'll know tonight . " he said .

That evening, the man came home with a small package and gave it to his wife . Delighted, she opened it . . . . . . . . . . to find a book entitled "The Meaning of Dreams . "

Cheers

Billy 8-{) :)

LOL

. urbandictionary . com/define . php?term=pearl%20necklace" target="_blank">www . urbandictionary . com 		roddy_boy (4115)
634519 2008-01-28 11:21:00 LOL

www.urbandictionary.com :groan: There's always one.... (without even following the link) ;) 		johcar (6283)
634520 2008-01-28 17:01:00 Far away in the tropical waters of the Caribbean, two prawns were swimming around in the sea . One called Justin and the other called Christian . The prawns were constantly being harassed and threatened by sharks that inhabited the area .


Finally one day Justin said to Christian, "I'm fed up with being a prawn; I wish I was a shark, and then I wouldn't have any worries about being eaten . "


A large mysterious cod appeared and said, "Your wish is granted" . Lo and behold, Justin turned into a shark .


Horrified, Christian immediately swam away, afraid of being eaten by his old mate .


Time passed (as it invariably does) and Justin found life as a shark boring and lonely . All his old mates simply swam away whenever he came close to them . Justin didn't realize that his new menacing appearance was the cause of his sad plight .


While swimming alone one day he saw the mysterious cod again and he thought perhaps the mysterious fish could change him back into a prawn . He approached the cod and begged to be changed back, and, lo and behold, he found himself turned back into a prawn .


With tears of joy in his tiny little eyes Justin swam back to his friends and bought them all a cocktail . (The punch line does not involve a prawn cocktail - it's much worse) . Looking around the gathering at the reef he realized he couldn't see his old pal .


"Where's Christian?" he asked . "He's at home, still distraught that his best friend changed sides to the enemy & became a shark", came the reply .


Eager to put things right again and end the mutual pain and torture, he set off to Christian's abode . As he opened the coral gate, memories came flooding back . He banged on the door and shouted, "It's me, Justin, your old friend, come out and see me again . "


Christian replied, "No way man, you'll eat me . You're now a shark, the enemy, and I'll not be tricked into being your dinner . "


Justin cried back "No, I'm not . That was the old me . I've changed . " . . . . . . . . .


(You're going to love this . . . )


.


.


.


.


.


.


. (Scroll Down . )


.


.


.





.


.


.


.


.


.





"I've found Cod . I'm a Prawn again Christian" .

This email was cleaned by emailStripper, available for free from . papercut . biz/emailStripper . htm" target="_blank">www . papercut . biz 		Cicero (40)
634521 2008-01-28 17:14:00 :thumbs: Very good Cicero! Although in my experience, this would leave Christian the Shrimp just as nervous about opening the door to his old friend!! johcar (6283)
1 2 3