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Thread ID: 86697	2008-01-25 11:11:00	It may have been only two floors BUT...	Mercury (1316)	PC World Chat

Post ID	Timestamp	Content	User
633933	2008-01-27 19:37:00	No, but I have seriously considered Super Glue.	FoxyMX (5)
633934	2008-01-27 20:38:00	OWWWW ! !	R2x1 (4628)
633935	2008-01-27 20:53:00	Alternative to Bars Leaks - take brisket bones off his menu. It could be a diet thing.	Mercury (1316)
633936	2008-01-27 21:24:00	Out of curiosity, and to avoid doing anything productive for a few more minutes, I did a google search on "diet fart". Foxy, you may want to read the Facts on Farts (www.heptune.com) for a few ideas and solutions - some quite hilarious. Gorskys (www.gorskys.com.au) also have a couple of "ideas". Alternatively, if you can't solve the problem, have you thought of checking out whether he is one who produces methane based farts? You could then look into capturing it someway as an alternative source of power. Is there enough to give you credits on the national grid?	Mercury (1316)
633937	2008-01-28 00:04:00	My sister keeps 3 British Bulldogs - so you can imagine the smell. And you can't hear them do it, the farts silently attack and overwhelm you sarel	sarel (2490)
633938	2008-01-28 00:48:00	I keep my emmissions silent and violent.:thumbs:	Sweep (90)
633939	2008-01-28 02:27:00	Beware, your farts wil betray you in the end . . . . . . . . . . . . Try sleeping with someone who sometimes spends the entire night trying to poison you . Once there lived a woman who had a maddening passion for baked beans . She loved them but unfortunately, they had always had a very embarrassing and somewhat lively reaction on her . Then one day she met a man and fell in love . When it became apparent that they would marry, she thought to herself, "He is such a sweet and gentle man, he would never go for this carrying on . " She made the supreme sacrifice and gave up beans . Some months later her car broke down on the way home from work . Since she lived in the country she called her husband and told him that she would be late because she had to walk home . On her way, she passed a small diner and the odour of the baked beans was more than she could stand . Since she still had miles to walk, she figured that she would walk off any ill effects by the time she reached home . So, she stopped at the diner and before she knew it, she had consumed three large orders of baked beans . All the way home she putt-putted, and upon arriving home she felt reasonably sure she could control it . Her husband seemed excited to see her and exclaimed delightedly, "Darling,I have a surprise for dinner tonight . " He then blindfolded her and led her to her chair at the table . She seated herself and just as he was about to remove the blindfold from his wife, the telephone rang . He made her promise not to touch the blindfold until he returned . He then went to answer the telephone . The baked beans she had consumed were still affecting her, and the pressure was becoming almost unbearable, so while her husband was out of the room she seized the opportunity, shifted her weight to one leg and let it go . It was not only loud, but it smelled like a fertilizer truck running over a skunk in front of a pulpwood mill . She took her napkin and fanned the air around her vigorously . Then, she shifted . Keeping her ears tuned to the conversation in the other room, she went on like this for another ten minutes . When the telephone farewells signaled the end of her freedom, she fanned the air a few more times with her napkin, placed it on her lap and folded her hands upon it, smiling contentedly to herself . She was the picture of innocence when her husband returned, apologizing for taking so long, he asked her if she peeked, and she assured him that she had not . At this point, he removed the blindfold, and she was surprised!! There were twelve dinner guests seated around the table to wish her a "Happy Birthday"!!! That aside, a change of diet and/or a well hammered-in butt plug might bring you some relief . :D Cheers Bro Billy 8-{)	Billy T (70)
633940	2008-01-28 04:22:00	Foxy, you may want to read the Facts on Farts ( . heptune . com/farts . html" target="_blank">www . heptune . com) for a few ideas and solutions - some quite hilarious . Gorskys ( . gorskys . com . au/ask/cant-stop-farting . html" target="_blank">www . gorskys . com . au) also have a couple of "ideas" . Alternatively, if you can't solve the problem, have you thought of checking out whether he is one who produces methane based farts? You could then look into capturing it someway as an alternative source of power . Is there enough to give you credits on the national grid? Those pages cracked me up Mercury . :D I know what foods causes the SBD emissions - onions, curried sausages and soup mix (not all in the same meal, of course) . Unfortunately I am unable to totally eliminate any of those from his diet so I guess the only real solution is to camp in the lounge on the nights following the intake of those ingredients . Better still, make him camp out in the lounge since he's the one who doesn't want to stop eating them . :thumbs: I'm a bit worried about applying for national grid credits . I'm sure the carbon tax will probably offset the profits made on that by at least triple . :rolleyes:	FoxyMX (5)
633941	2008-01-28 20:08:00	There was a stage where, regardless of diet, my son was very useful to redecorators. He only had to loosen his sneakers and the wallpaper curled up and fell to the floor. Paint crumbled, and neighbours raced off to town to carry out tasks they suddenly remembered. The dog didn't seem upset at all, but everything else, animate or inanimate, trembled. It is almost a pity we don't have skunks here. There could have been a contest, but one unlikely to be won by a nose.	R2x1 (4628)
633942	2008-01-28 20:15:00	And teenage girls. There was a patch when if I picked them up after school I'd pass them the deodorant very quickly. They weren't that amused but it was the only way to get home without passing out.	Mercury (1316)
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