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| Thread ID: 145398 | 2017-10-23 23:45:00 | MONDAY LAUGHS ... Ernie, Blonde Jokes, and Imaginary Sky Beings | WalOne (4202) | PC World Chat |
| Post ID | Timestamp | Content | User | ||
| 1441014 | 2017-10-23 23:45:00 | Yeah I know it’s Tuesday . But even bloggers are entitled to a day off now and then . Wonder if Jacinda could arrange time and a half instead? :banana :D:D Here’s a favorite clip, contributed by a reader, The Fastest Milkcart in the West ( . youtube . com/watch?v=8e1xvyTdBZI" target="_blank">www . youtube . com) Video 3:52 +++++<<<<<>>>>>+++++ :rolleyes: Q: What's the difference between a hippo and a zippo? A: One's really heavy, the other's a little lighter . :groan: Q: What do you call a Frenchman wearing jandals? A: Philippe Philoppe . :thumbs: Why did my washing machine stop pumping out water? And more importantly, where is my hamster? +++++<<<<<>>>>>+++++ Father: “Son, you were adopted . ” Son: “What?! I knew it! I want to meet my biological parents!” Father: “We are your biological parents . Now pack up, the new ones will pick you up in 20 minutes . ” +++++<<<<<>>>>>+++++ All a matter of perspective :lol: I and Bill Gates have a combined fortune of approximately 80 billion dollars . :groan: Anything in New Zealand is within walking distance … it only depends on how much time you have . :) I’m ready to bet that dinosaurs were similar to dogs . The huge ones were calm and relaxed while the small ones were the yappy, snappy little bastards . :lol: When you rob a bank, you can stop worrying about rent/food bills for several years – regardless of whether you get caught or not . +++++<<<<<>>>>>+++++ Nothing is on fire . It is fire that is on things . And you can put fire out by putting the right things on fire . +++++<<<<<>>>>>+++++ What’s black, red, black, red, black, red? A zebra with a sun burn . (There is an Aussie variation of that one . But this is a family forum … ) +++++<<<<<>>>>>+++++ At work: Excuse me, may I disturb you shortly? Of course, what is it? Nothing, I just wanted to disturb you . +++++<<<<<>>>>>+++++ :eek: Why is your butt divided vertically and not horizontally? It would clap nicely if you ran down the stairs . Ok, now stop imagining it . +++++<<<<<>>>>>+++++ Imaginary Sky Beings If you're looking for a more frank, simple explanation as to the purpose and existence of religion, here's George Carlin with a hilarious take on why a Businessman can’t hold a candle to a Clergyman: George Carlin: Religion is Bullshit ( . be/8r-e2NDSTuE" target="_blank">youtu . be) Video 10:23 +++++<<<<<>>>>>+++++ 8362 . Chuck Norris once had an arm-wrestling competition with Superman . The bet was that the loser has to then wear his underwear on top of his trousers . . Chuck Norris doesn't do fishing . He says, "You, you and you, out!" and off he goes with three fish . . There was a rumor circulating once that Chuck Norris lost a fight with a pirate . That is naturally nonsense . It turned out that Mr Norris started this rumor himself to attract more pirates . +++++<<<<<>>>>>+++++ Love and Marriage :lol:Marriage is an institution of three rings . Engagement ring, wedding ring and suffering . :lol:Dad, why are all the cars beeping their horns? Because there’s a wedding going on . But isn’t the horn a warning signal, Dad? Exactly, son . . It’s been raining for days now and my husband seems very depressed by it . He keeps standing by the window, staring . If it continues, I’m going to have to let him in . . I went through an expensive and painful procedure yesterday, having had my spine and both testicles removed . Still, some of the wedding presents were fantastic . . My wife and I have been married for quite a few years and my wife asked me recently to get some pills that would make sure I’d be up to some action in the bedroom again . I brought home diet pills . Apparently very much not what she meant . +++++<<<<<>>>>>+++++ Blonde Jokes – thanks to a contributor A blonde went to the ER with the end of her left finger shot off . Naturally the Doctor asked how this happened . “Well I was feeling a little down so I took my handgun and put it in my mouth, then I thought about the $20,000 I had spent on cosmetic dentistry so I instead pointed it at my chest when I remembered the $30,000 in breast implants . So instead I pointed it at my ear, and I thought this is going to make a very loud bang so I stuck my finger in my other ear . ” :clap A group of blondes went into an upmarket Auckland restaurant for a celebratory meal . All the way through the meal the group chanted “28 days, only 28 days!” and beamed at each other . Finally one of the wait staff asked them, “What is it about 28 days?” “We’ve done a jigsaw puzzle! It said on the box 3-4 years and it only took us 28 days!” +++++<<<<<>>>>>+++++ All for this week, and if anyone has the ear of Jacinda, please mention time and a half for Monday Laughs . :tui: |
WalOne (4202) | ||
| 1441015 | 2017-10-24 08:34:00 | Many thanks WalOne. Two hours ago i started to read your collection of these yarns & got diverted / side tracked, what ever you like to call it. ! There are some great videos in the attachments. :-) :-) | BobM (1138) | ||
| 1441016 | 2017-10-26 23:06:00 | Thanks Bob, always good to get some appreciative comments :cool: | WalOne (4202) | ||
| 1441017 | 2017-10-27 02:51:00 | Great as always, thanks WalOne! :) | Nick G (16709) | ||
| 1441018 | 2017-10-27 06:34:00 | Hey guys this is totally off the wall lol..but WalOne was trying to message you but obviously I cant cse Im here... An old post of yours ...very old --- Thanks to pine-o-cleen, who PM'd me the name of his wife's on-line spec shop. Turns out it was the one I'd pretty much settled on. They provide details of the different measurement requirements and what they mean. You can upload an image of your face, then go ahead and try up to about 1,500 frames to see how they look. Can't go wrong, especially at the price. Do ya think I can have the name of the on-line spec shop if you still remember it:) |
Saffron (17579) | ||
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