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Thread ID: 89789 2008-05-12 05:54:00 Monday Laughs - Where are you Billy T? Roscoe (6288) PC World Chat
Post ID Timestamp Content User
668517 2008-05-12 23:32:00 Aw yuuuck!! :horrified wratterus (105)
668518 2008-05-13 01:59:00 Where are you Billy T?

Can't you just use your psychic powers to find that out? 		roddy_boy (4115)
668519 2008-05-13 02:00:00 Can't you just use your psychic powers to find that out?

I laughed, long and hard. 		wratterus (105)
668520 2008-05-13 02:33:00 *cough* :blush: :blush: :blush:

Sorry about that folks, have just got my hands on a big contract and had to do a lot of urgent travel-type arrangements (see next post coming up) .

Here's a goodie, by way of making amends:

A young man named John received a parrot named "Chief" as a gift . The parrot had a bad attitude and an even worse vocabulary . Everything that came out of the bird’s mouth was rude, obnoxious and laced with profanity .

John tried and tried to change the bird's attitude by consistently saying only polite words, playing soft music and anything else he could think of to clean up the bird's vocabulary, but nothing made a scrap of difference . Finally he was so fed up that he yelled at the parrot . The parrot yelled back . Then he threw a glass of water at him but the parrot just got angrier and even ruder .

In desperation, John threw up his hand, grabbed the bird and put him in the freezer . For a few minutes the parrot squawked and kicked and screamed obscenities, then suddenly there was total quiet . Not a peep was heard for over a minute .

Fearing that he'd harmed the bird, John quickly opened the door to the freezer and the parrot calmly stepped out onto his outstretched arm and said, "I believe I may have offended you with my rude language and actions . I am sincerely remorseful for my inappropriate transgressions and I fully intend to do everything I can to correct my rude and unforgivable behaviour . "

John was stunned at the change in the bird's attitude, but just as he was about to ask the parrot what had made such a dramatic change in his behaviour, the bird continued:

"May I ask what the turkey did, and were the three chickens involved as well?"


Cheers

Billy 8-{)

Ain't Monday morning withdrawal symptoms awful . :D 		Billy T (70)
668521 2008-05-13 03:29:00 I hope now you can get a half decent set of computers.

The Ostrich
A man walks into a restaurant with a full-grown ostrich behind him.
The waitress asks for their orders. The man says, 'A Hamburger, fries and a coke,' and turns to the ostrich, 'What's yours?'
'I'll have the same,' says the ostrich.
A short time later the waitress returns with the order.
'That will be $9.40 please,' she says and the man reaches into his pocket and pulls out the exact amount for payment.
The next day, the man and the ostrich come again and the man says, 'A hamburger, fries, and a coke.'
The ostrich says, 'I'll have the same.'
Again the man reaches into his pocket and pays with exact amount.
For a while this becomes routine until the two enter again later in the week.
'The usual?' asks the waitress.
'No, this time it's a treat, so I will have a steak, baked potato, and salad,' says the man.
'Yep! Same,' says the ostrich.
Shortly the waitress brings the order and says, 'That will be $32.62.'
Once again the man pulls the exact amount out of his pocket and places it on the table.
The waitress can't hold back her curiosity any longer.
'Excuse me, sir. How do you manage to always come up with the exact money from your pocket every time?'
'Well,' says the man, 'several years ago I was clearing the attic and found an old lamp.
When I rubbed it a Genie appeared and offered me two wishes.
My first wish was that if I ever had to pay for anything, I would just put my hand in my pocket and the right amount of money would always be there.'
'That's brilliant!' says the waitress. 'Most people would wish for a couple of million pounds or something, but you'll always be as rich as you want for as long as you live!'
'That's right. Whether it's a pint of milk or a Rolls Royce, the exact money is always there,' says the man.
The waitress asks, 'But, sir, what's with the ostrich?'
The man sighs, pauses, and replies, 'My second wish was for a tall bird with long legs who agrees with everything I say.' 		Cicero (40)
668522 2008-05-13 04:24:00 Can't you just use your psychic powers to find that out?

I agree with you wholeheartedly, young Roddy Boy . I had already done so and I knew where he was and what he was up to, but I did not want to show up you young lads . :rolleyes:


I laughed, long and hard .

It's easy enough to keep you youngsters amused . :lol: 		Roscoe (6288)
668523 2008-05-13 04:25:00 You gotta admit, Rossi, that was pretty quick on the part of roddy. ;) wratterus (105)
668524 2008-05-13 04:28:00 You gotta admit, Rossi, that was pretty quick on the part of roddy. ;)

Have to agree. Very quick - not very imaginative, but quick. 		Roscoe (6288)
668525 2008-05-13 04:34:00 :p wratterus (105)
668526 2008-05-13 04:48:00 Very quick - not very imaginative, but quick.

That's what she said. 		roddy_boy (4115)
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