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| Thread ID: 145591 | 2017-12-11 01:28:00 | Monday Laughs ... UK humour, a token blonde joke, and farts | WalOne (4202) | PC World Chat |
| Post ID | Timestamp | Content | User | ||
| 1443263 | 2017-12-11 01:28:00 | Hi folks … here we are again with yet another another dose of puerile adolescent humour for this week … :banana Here’s Bradley … Click HERE (www.youtube.com) +++++<<<<<>>>>>+++++ :eek: In 1993 a German court ordered that a couple receive a partial refund of the cost of a two-week cruise, since the cruise company hadn't warned them that 500 of the 600 passengers would be Swiss yodel exponents, who would be practising their yodels constantly. +++++<<<<<>>>>>+++++ Rowan Atkinson on John Elton, Ben Elton, Monroe Marilyn, and Head Dick … Rowan Atkinson upsets Elton John (www.youtube.com) +++++<<<<<>>>>>+++++ What was that again? :rolleyes: A girl told me she had to delete some photos off her phone because her phone was feeling too heavy. Same girl thought potatoes grew on trees. :groan: We were watching a Sky documentary about a couple of murderers that were executed. During the re-enactment scenes, viewer next to me says "That's cool that they let them out of prison to film this." +++++<<<<<>>>>>+++++ Talking Heads Donald Trump (www.youtube.com) +++++<<<<<>>>>>+++++ One of my favourite blondes is the world’s worst at getting instructions mixed up. When she got married her husband took her to Hardly Normal to buy her one of those fancy, electric coffee makers. It had all the latest gadgets on it. The Hardly Normal salesman carefully explained how everything worked; how to plug it in, set the timer, go back to bed, and upon rising, the coffee is ready. A few weeks later our blonde was back in the store and the salesman asked her how she liked the coffee maker. “Wonderful!” she replied, “However, there’s one thing I don’t understand. Why do I have to go to bed every time I want to make a pot of coffee?” +++++<<<<<>>>>>+++++ “Did God make you, Papa?” “Yep! He certainly did.” “And did He make me too?” “Of course, He did.” “Well, He’s certainly doing better as He goes along, isn’t He?” +++++<<<<<>>>>>+++++ Our man walks into a bar and sees a guy with a really big lighter. He asks the guy with the lighter, “Where did you get such a big lighter?” The lighter guy replies,”See that bloke playing the piano over there? He’s a genie and he’ll grant you one wish.” So our man walks over to the genie and says, “I wish for a million bucks.” And Pow! Zap! The room fills up with a million ducks. Our man goes back to the guy with the lighter and says, “That genie is a little hard of hearing isn’t he.” The guy replies, “No kidding! What make you think I asked for a 14 inch Bic?” +++++<<<<<>>>>>+++++ Rowan Atkinson … Dirty Names (PG) :D Watch here (www.youtube.com) +++++<<<<<>>>>>+++++ “I was in a restaurant yesterday when I realized I desperately needed to ummm, fart.. The music was really, really loud, so I synchonised my fart with the beat of the music. After a couple of songs, I started to feel better. I finished my coffee, but then noticed that everybody was staring at me…. It was then I remembered that I was listening to my iPod.” +++++<<<<<>>>>>+++++ How to open a bottle of wine using only a tree and a shoe Watch here (www.youtube.com) Probably better to buy your wine with a screw cap in the first place … +++++<<<<<>>>>>+++++ Continuing this (puerile, adolescent) downward trend for Monday Laughs is Billy Connolly … Billy Connolly on a late show (www.youtube.com) +++++<<<<<>>>>>+++++ ;) A guide, showing an old lady through the Zoo, took her to a cage occupied by a kangaroo. “Here, madam,” he said, “we have a native of Australia.” “Good gracious,” she replied, “and to think my sister married one of them.” +++++<<<<<>>>>>+++++ ;) “I dreamed last night that I had invented a new type of breakfast food and was sampling it when–” “Yes, yes; go on.” “I woke up and found a corner of the mattress gone!” +++++<<<<<>>>>>+++++ “I’m going to buy a book.” “A book!” “Yes, my husband bought me the most adorable reading-lamb yesterday.” All for this week ... hope to see you again next week. and if you have any good jokes, please help the thread along by posting them here. Cheers :banana :D:D |
WalOne (4202) | ||
| 1443264 | 2017-12-11 05:55:00 | Elton John and Atkinson were the best!!! | Greg (193) | ||
| 1443265 | 2017-12-11 06:32:00 | Thanks | gary67 (56) | ||
| 1443266 | 2017-12-11 07:14:00 | Elton John and Atkinson were the best!!! Thanks Cheers :thumbs: |
WalOne (4202) | ||
| 1443267 | 2017-12-11 22:35:00 | A girl told me she had to delete some photos off her phone because her phone was feeling too heavy. Same girl thought potatoes grew on trees. Back in the day when I was a computer operator for IBM we had a young woman in the tape library (remember them? - 2400' magnetic tapes - we had 5000 of them!). One day she came into the computer room carrying some tapes and complained that "these are really heavy - they must have a lot of information on them!" We told her it was because the one bits were heavier than the zero bits, and she trotted off happy. |
Tony (4941) | ||
| 1443268 | 2017-12-15 07:41:00 | A blonde was shopping at Walmart and came across a shiny stainless Thermos(R). She was quite fascinated by it, so she picked it up and took it to the checkout to ask what it was. The checkout operator said, 'Why, that's a Thermos..... It keeps hot things hot, and cold things cold.' 'Wow', said the blonde, 'that's amazing....I'm going to buy it!' So she bought the Thermos and took it to work the next day. Her boss saw it on her desk. 'What's that,' he asked? 'Why, that's a Thermos..... It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold,' she replied. Her boss inquired, 'What do you have in it?' The blonde replied...'Two popsicles and some coffee.' |
R2x1 (4628) | ||
| 1443269 | 2017-12-16 07:02:00 | If you need to get your Xmas Cards sent in a hurry, or you just want to mass-mail Post-It-Notes, this mob of Vikings (www.youtube.com) may have just the trick - - - | R2x1 (4628) | ||
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