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Thread ID: 92260	2008-08-03 21:11:00	Monday Laughs: .......Religion, truth and honesty	Billy T (70)	PC World Chat

Post ID	Timestamp	Content	User
694707	2008-08-07 05:33:00	A young jackeroo ( for the uninformed: a sheep/cattleman ) from outback Queensland goes off to university, but halfway through the semester he foolishly has squandered all of his money. He calls home. "Dad," he says, "you won't believe what modern education is developing. They actually have a program here in Brisbane that will teach our dog Ol' Blue how to talk." "That's amazing!" his Dad says. "How do I get Ol' Blue in that program?" "Just send him down here with $2,000," the young jackeroo says, "I'll get him in the course." So ... his father sends the dog and $2,000. About two-thirds through the semester, the money again runs out. The boy calls home. "So how's Ol' Blue doing, son?" his father Wants to know. "Awesome! Dad, he's talking up a storm. But you just won't believe this. They've had such good results with talking, they've begun to teach the animals how to read." "Read?!"exclaims his father. "No ! How do we get Ol' Blue In that program?" "Just send $4,500. I'll get him in the class." The money promptly arrives. But our hero has a problem. At the end of the year, his father will find out the dog can't talk nor read. So he shoots the dog. When he arrives home at the end of the year, his father is all excited. "Where's Ol' Blue? I just can't wait to hear him, and see him read something!" "Dad," the boy says, "I have some grim news. Yesterday morning, just before we left to drive home, Ol' Blue was in the living room, kicked back in the recliner, reading the Wall Street Journal. Then he suddenly turned to me and asked, "So, is dad still messing with that little redhead barmaid at the pub?" The father groans and whispers, "I hope you shot that ba**ard before he talks to your Mother!" "I sure did, Dad!" "That's my boy!" The kid went on to be a successful lawyer.	Sweep (90)
694708	2008-08-07 06:22:00	Sorry about the black and white, and poor quality. Was all i could get. www.imagef1.net.nz www.imagef1.net.nz www.imagef1.net.nz www.imagef1.net.nz Hmm... how do I make the images show up on the page instead of links? :lol:	rob_on_guitar (4196)
694709	2008-08-07 09:00:00	Ha ha de ha	zqwerty (97)
694710	2008-08-07 10:00:00	This Kiwi Guy dies in a nasty car accident and finds himself in front of St Peter at the Pearly Gates. "Come in to my office", says St Peter. Our hero follows him in. To his great surprise, there is clocks as far as the eye could see. "So, what's all the clocks for?" The Saint tells him there is a clock for every person on Earth and when you are born your clock is set to twelve o'clock. He goes on to explain each time you tell a lie, your clock advances by one minute. In this way, the Good Lord can monitor how many lies you have told when you apply for membership to Heaven. "OK," says the Guy, "but there's a clock that hasn't moved". "That" explains St Peter, "is Mother Teresa's clock, amazing as it may sound she never told a lie in her entire life!!" "Well, what about that one, it's showing just two minutes past" questions our man. "That," says St Pete, "is the Pope's. He told a couple of white lies when he was a young man, no big deal" "Well, where is Winston's Peter's clock?" asks the Kiwi. "Oh," says St Peter, "that's in God's office at the moment, he's using it as a fan!!" BURNZEE	Burnzee (6950)
694711	2008-08-07 22:50:00	What is more interesting, though, is how you managed to hide the personality test. That I liked. Will you please reveal your secret. I have not seen that done before.Lol, half my signature has been like that for months :p	Myth (110)
694712	2008-08-09 21:06:00	Catholic Dog Muldoon lived alone in the Irish countryside with only a pet dog for company . One day the dog died, and Muldoon went to the parish priest and asked, 'Father, my dog is dead . Could ya' be saying' a mass for the poor creature?' Father Patrick replied, 'I'm afraid not; we cannot have services for an animal in the church . But there are some Baptists down the lane, and there's no tellin' what they believe . Maybe they'll do something for the creature . ' Muldoon said, 'I'll go right away Father . Do ya' think $5,000 is enough to donate to them for the service?' Father Patrick exclaimed, 'Sweet Mary, Mother of Jesus! Why didn't ya tell me the dog was Catholic?	Cicero (40)
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