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Thread ID: 92836 2008-08-24 23:25:00 Monday Laughs: ............Mixed bag, choose your poison...... Billy T (70) PC World Chat
Post ID Timestamp Content User
700077 2008-08-25 04:12:00 Roscoe
Thoser sound distinctly like Spike Milligan's work.

I agree sounds just like the great man's work to me
gary67 (56)
700078 2008-08-25 04:54:00 The Confession

An elderly Italian man who lived on the outskirts of
Rimini, Italy, went to the local church for confession.

When the priest slid open the panel in the
confessional, The man said: 'Father ... During World War II, a beautiful
Jewish woman from our neighborhood knocked urgently on my door and
asked me to hide her from the Nazis. So I hid her in my attic.'

The priest replied: 'That was a wonderful thing you
did, and you have no need to confess that.'

'There is more to tell, Father... She started to repay me with sexual favors.

This happened several times a week, and sometimes twice on Sundays.'

The priest said, 'That was a long time ago and by doing what
you did, you placed the two of you in great danger. but two people under
those circumstances can easily succumb to the weakness of the flesh.
However, if you are truly sorry for your actions, you are indeed forgiven.'

'Thank you, Father. That's a great load off my mind.
I do have one more question.'

'And what is that?' asked the priest.

'Should I tell her the war is over?'':D
smithie 38 (6684)
700079 2008-08-25 05:16:00 Ok I'll ask, is this another term for tampons? I don't get it, the phrase that is, as perquisites has always meant the longer version of perks to me

It also means something particular to a person, or in this case gender, as indicated by being prefixed by "female" as they have no (direct) relevance to males.

You are right though, I was being politically correct to avoid offending any of the more delicate flowers that might inhabit this forum. I'd already made reference to both male and female pudenda (go look it up then) and followed that with a swipe at organised religion so it wasn't a bad effort for a Monday.

Cheers

Billy 8-{) ;)
Billy T (70)
700080 2008-08-26 07:19:00 HOW TO INSTALL A HOME SECURITY SYSTEM ON A BUDGET :

1 . Go to a second-hand store and buy a pair of men's used size 14-16
work boots .

2 . Place them on your front porch, along with several empty beer cans, a
copy of Guns & Ammo magazine and several NRA magazines .

3 . Put a few giant dog dishes next to the boots and magazines .

4 . Leave a note on your door that reads:

'Hey Bubba, Duke & Slim,
I went to the gun shop for more ammunition . Back in an hour . Don't mess
with the pit bulls - they attacked the mailman this morning and messed
him up real bad . I don't think Killer took part in it, but it was hard
to tell from all the blood .

P . S . I locked all four of 'em in the house . Better wait outside . '

INSTALLATION COMPLETE!!!!
Cicero (40)
700081 2008-08-26 21:52:00 Whimsical Wednesday..........

'A study in the Washington Post says that women have better verbal skills than men. I just want to say to the authors of that study: 'Duh.' -- Conan O'Brien

When I go, I want to die like my grandfather.......who passed away peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car.' -- Author Unknown

'If life were fair, Elvis would be alive and all the impersonators would be dead.' -- Johnny Carson

'Sometimes I think war is God's way of teaching us geography.' -- Paul Rodriguez

'My parents didn't want to move to Florida, but they turned sixty-five and that's the law.' --Jerry Seinfeld

'Bigamy is having one wife/husband too many. Monogamy is the same.' -- Oscar Wilde

'Our bombs are smarter than the average high school student. At least they can find Afghanistan.' -- A. Whitney Brown

'Everybody's got to believe in something. I believe I'll have another beer.' -- W. C. Fields

And lastly: 'You can say any foolish thing to a dog, and the dog will give you a look that says, 'My God, you're right! I never would've thought of that!'' -- Dave Barry


Cheers

Billy 8-{)
Billy T (70)
700082 2008-08-27 11:15:00 My Mrs has just emailed a pic she thought I'd like, with all the ups and downs with - B00bs On bikes (www.imagef1.net.nz) :eek: is this what all the fuss was about.:) wainuitech (129)
700083 2008-08-27 11:24:00 My Mrs has just emailed a pic she thought I'd like, with all the ups and downs with - B00bs On bikes (www.imagef1.net.nz) :eek: is this what all the fuss was about.:)
That just ain't cool yo.....
qazwsxokmijn (102)
700084 2008-08-27 20:05:00 You're a @#$%^&* Wanuitech, here I checked it out with great interest .

lol

Sarel
sarel (2490)
700085 2008-08-27 20:15:00 So we do have aliens.!

Certainly not humanoid!.
Cicero (40)
700086 2008-08-27 20:40:00 You're a @#$%^&* Wanuitech, here I checked it out with great interest.

lol

Sarel
:lol: if it had have been the real pictures - Well I know the forum rules - and no spyware attached.
wainuitech (129)
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