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Thread ID: 93205	2008-09-07 21:41:00	Monday Laughs: ............British Humour, and plenty of it!!	Billy T (70)	PC World Chat

Post ID	Timestamp	Content	User
703363	2008-09-09 06:41:00	Dear Tech Support, Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5 . 0 to Husband 1 . 0 and noticed a distinct slow down in overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5 . 0 . In addition, Husband 1 . 0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9 . 5 and Personal Attention 6 . 5, and then installed undesirable programs such as: NBA 5 . 0, NFL 3 . 0 and Golf Clubs 4 . 1 . Conversation 8 . 0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2 . 6 simply crashes the system . Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5 . 3 to fix these problems, but to no avail . What can I do? Signed, Desperate . DEAR DESPERATE, First, keep in mind, Boyfriend 5 . 0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1 . 0 is an operating system . Please enter command: "ithoughtyoulovedme . html" (without the quotation marks) and try to download Tears 6 . 2 and do not forget to install the Guilt 3 . 0update . If that application works as designed, Husband 1 . 0 should then automatically run the applications Jewelry 2 . 0 and Flowers 3 . 5 . However, remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1 . 0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2 . 5, Happy Hour 7 . 0 or Beer 6 . 1 . Please note that Beer 6 . 1 is a very bad program that will download the Farting and Snoring Loudly Beta . Whatever you do, DO NOT under any circumstances install Mother-In-Law 1 . 0 (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources . ) In addition, please do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend 5 . 0-program . These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1 . 0 . In summary, Husband 1 . 0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly . You might consider buying additional software upgrade 2 . 0 . 3 to improve memory and performance . We recommend Oriental Massage 3 . 0 and Hot Lingerie 7 . 7 . Good Luck Babe! Tech Support	SurferJoe46 (51)
703364	2008-09-09 06:47:00	^:lol:	jwil1 (65)
703365	2008-09-09 23:51:00	I knew it!!! :D The Buffalo Theory as told by Cliff Clavin (Cheers): "Well ya see, Norm, it's like this... A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members. "In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells. But naturally it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. That's why you always feel smarter after a few beers."	tingle (6539)
703366	2008-09-10 02:33:00	HOW TO RECRUIT THE RIGHT PERSON FOR THE JOB? Put about 100 bricks in some Particular order in a closed Room with an Open window . Then send 2 or 3 candidates in The room and close the door . Leave them alone and come back After 6 hours and then analyze The situation . If they are counting the Bricks . Put them in the accounts Department . If they are recounting them . . Put them in auditing . If they have messed up the Whole place with the bricks . Put them in engineering . If they are arranging the Bricks in some strange order . Put them in planning . If they are throwing the Bricks at each other . Put them in operations . If they are sleeping . Put them in security . If they have broken the bricks Into pieces . Put them in information Technology . If they are sitting idle . Put them in human resources . If they say they have tried Different combinations, yet Not a brick has Been moved . Put them in sales . If they have already left for The day . Put them in marketing . If they are staring out of the Window . Put them on strategic Planning . And then last but not least . If they are talking to each Other and not a single brick Has been Moved . Congratulate them and put them In top management .	B.M. (505)
703367	2008-09-10 03:11:00	If the bricks have disappeared and no-one saw a thing, you have politicians.	R2x1 (4628)
703368	2008-09-10 03:17:00	If the bricks have disappeared and no-one saw a thing, you have politicians. .... or if they can't recall seeing anything...	johcar (6283)
703369	2008-09-10 08:28:00	If the bricks have disappeared and no-one saw a thing, you have politicians. Well done. :thumbs:	B.M. (505)
703370	2008-09-10 11:20:00	Put about 100 bricks in some Particular order in a closed Room with an Open window. That is humour alone.	mikebartnz (21)
703371	2008-09-11 10:38:00	There was an American man that had an meeting in France. He met a woman and that night they had their own meeting. While they were where having s-e-x, she was yelling, "TROU FAUX,TROU FAUX." He did not know what that meant, but assumed it to be some sort of praise. The next day, he went to play golf with the men he had the meeting with. One of them made a hole in one. He yelled, "TROU FAUX,TROU FAUX !" They looked at him and said, "what do you mean wrong hole?" Quote: www.badmintoncentral.com	Renmoo (66)
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