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Thread ID: 93277	2008-09-10 07:40:00	Tips for the best man	Greven (91)	PC World Chat

Post ID	Timestamp	Content	User
704168	2008-09-10 07:40:00	I am going to be the best man at my friend's wedding, and I'm appealing to you for tips on what I have to do, what traditional things have fallen out of favour for modern weddings, & how to make it all go easier. I am practising my speech a lot since I am not a very good public speaker & I've looked up a few websites for guidelines, but there is some conflicting information & we are not sure where to fit in Nigel's other closest friend who also wants to do a speech & is a much better speaker than me.	Greven (91)
704169	2008-09-10 08:10:00	I only have experience as father of the bride (twice) so I am not sure about the protocol for the best man (did it once 40 years ago...). However, the only thing I know you have to do is propose a toast to the bridesmaids at the end of your speech. Some hints from listening to best men: 1. Be succinct - don't ramble on forever! 2. Keep it pretty clean - I have heard some very unfunny comments about the groom and bride that were just tasteless. Exposing the bride or groom as the town bikes is not funny. 3. Be humorous if possible, but see 2.! 4. Don't carry a wad of notes with you - the "audience" will groan audibly or inwardly if they see you carrying a sheaf of notes... Develop your speech and practice it to time it, and then write a small note that gives you key words for the things you want to cover - just reminders to keep you on track. I did that as father of the bride, and the note fitted in the palm of my hand so no-one actually saw it, though they would have seen me looking down from time to time. 5. NO mother in law jokes unless they show her in a positive light. 6. Stay sober before your speech, and afterwards all bets are off! Have fun!	John H (8)
704170	2008-09-10 08:32:00	I am practising my speech a lot since I am not a very good public speaker & I've looked up a few websites for guidelines, but there is some conflicting information & we are not sure where to fit in Nigel's other closest friend who also wants to do a speech & is a much better speaker than me. Agree with MrH.... I did the BM thing.....was so nervous didn't sleep the night before, and to this day I can't actually remember giving the speech. I was a wreck! :lol: My tip is don't try to be the speaker you're not....if you're not naturally witty then don't try to be, you'll come off looking like a dickhead. Why not break with tradition and let the other dude do the speech? If he wants to do it, and he's better at it, there's nothing that says YOU have to do it. Apart from tradition, and that counts for **** these days.	allblack (6574)
704171	2008-09-10 09:44:00	Yeah, I am with AB on all his points . In these radical days, even the bride is giving a speech sometimes - it would never have done for the Duke, sir . There are no probs with both the BM and someone else both giving speeches these days . Just make sure the MC knows! And I suggest if you are still really nervous, and you think he is better at it, give your speech before him . If you have to sit and listen to a great speaker, it will only make your knees knock harder and make it more difficult for you .	John H (8)
704172	2008-09-10 10:28:00	Aside from the speech, a Best Man has many other things to do. The main idea is for you to look after the groom and this means calming his nerves, keeping him sober, ensuring the ring, tux and many other items are in order - and - keeping in contact with the groom's parents (and perhaps the maid of honour) to see if you can be of any assistance. I don't know how old you and the groom are, but to do a proper job as Best Man may require a lot of maturity and wisdom. I say "may require" because if the wedding is organized to the extreme and both the groom's and bride's family are thoughtful respectful and harmonious, then your job will be easy. But weddings are notorious for frayed nerves, nasty relatives and unexpected chaos and that is where you can step in and save the day! When I was just out of school I was asked to be Best Man and while I did not botch things up and did support my mate the groom, looking back on it, no one gave me any tips, the internet did not exist, and I did not know what the **** I was doing. Years later I had my own wedding photography business and was immersed in dozens of weddings, up to 8 hours long, with the longest job being 13 hours. Believe me, I have seen what goes on behind the scenes, including punch ups, bride's dresses falling apart, people fainting, and more - including some absolute lovely times that were as perfect as could be. By all means introduce yourself to the priest / marriage celebrant, and to the photographer and tell them you are there to help: if they are doing a good job they just may give you a few tips or reminders to help the groom and others. As photographer I often had the best man and maid of honour stand beside or behind me so they could get the bride and groom to smile or laugh at the right time. It is indeed an honour to be a Best Man. You will remember it for the rest of your life. The above comments about the speech are very true so if you follow that advice and pick up tips from the many websites about best man speeches, you will do well. As for what else you can do, here is a sample: The best man coordinates transportation to and from the wedding site, the reception for the couple, and keeping track of rented wedding attire and accessories being picked up by the groomsmen. On the day of the wedding, the best man helps the groom get ready, waiting with him at the church for his beautiful bride. Finally, the best man serves as an official witness to the wedding ceremony, signing documents along with the maid of honor. Not everything given in this 'traditional, conservative' sample may be relevant to your mate's wedding but it does give you a few ideas. Also check out this website (www.askmen.com) - not the side :stare: pics, of course. :p Good luck and have a great time!	Strommer (42)
704173	2008-09-10 10:46:00	BTW, something many people forget to do before the wedding service is to eat and drink (not alcohol). You have probably seen the Funniest Videos on telly, of the groom - or someone else standing at the ceremony - fainting and keeling over, or vomiting. You may not be able to stop the ring bearer or flower girl from eating junk food, but you can ensure the groom is not drunk, dehydrated or starving! Lastly, no matter who he is, when the groom stands waiting for his bride and sees the wedding procession coming down the aisle, he will be nervous as hell. A few quiet words or just a glance from you will give him the support he needs.	Strommer (42)
704174	2008-09-10 10:49:00	Why not break with tradition and let the other dude do the speech? If he wants to do it, and he's better at it, there's nothing that says YOU have to do it. Apart from tradition, and that counts for **** these days. The bride says I have to do it...	Greven (91)
704175	2008-09-10 10:53:00	If it is going to be a church wedding you should write "HE" on the instep of the left shoe and "LP. on the right one.	mikebartnz (21)
704176	2008-09-10 11:42:00	Get absoluetly drunk and hit on the bride, ya cant go wrong!	rob_on_guitar (4196)
704177	2008-09-10 12:05:00	And whatever you do. Do not stare at the hot brazilian chick at the same table dressed in what looks like lacey lingerie thats there for a few more weeks on an exchange trip :blush:	bob_doe_nz (92)
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