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Thread ID: 93725	2008-09-28 21:57:00	Monday Laughs: ............Another Stock Clearance. Some of these are killers!!	Billy T (70)	PC World Chat

Post ID	Timestamp	Content	User
708506	2008-09-28 21:57:00	A rubbish collector is going along a street picking up the wheelie bins and emptying them into his truck. He goes to one house where the bin hasn't been left out, so he has a quick look for it, goes round the back of the house, but still can't see it. So, against the rules of the refuse collector's code but in the spirit of Kiwi kindness, he knocks on the door. There's no answer. Being a kindly and conscientious bloke, he knocks again much harder. Eventually a Japanese bloke comes to the door. 'Harro!' says the Japanese chappie. 'Gidday, mate! Where's ya bin?' asks the collector 'I bin on toiret' explains the Japanese bloke, a bit perplexed. Realising the little foreign fellow had misunderstood him, the bin man smiles and tries again. 'No mate, where's your dust bin?'. I dust been to toiret, I toll you!'' says the Japanese man still perplexed. 'Listen,' says the collector, 'You're misunderstanding me. Where's your w h ee l i e bin?' 'Ok, Ok' replies the Japanese man with a sheepish grin. 'I wheelie bin havin sex wirra wife's sister.........!' ************************************ One day a 12-year old boy was walking down the street when a car pulled up beside him, and the window was wound down. 'I'll give you a bag of lollies if you get in the car,' said the male driver. 'No way, get stuffed,' replied the boy. 'How about a bag of lollies and $10?' asked the driver. 'I said no way,' replied the irritated youngster. 'What about a new cellphone and FIFTY DOLLARS, eh?' quizzed the driver, still rolling slowly to keep up with the walking boy. 'No, I'm not getting in the bloody car!' answered the boy. 'OK, I know, I'll give you $100 and a new Playstation,' the driver offered. 'NO,' screamed the boy. 'So what will it take to get you into the car?' asked the driver with a long sigh. The boy replied, 'Listen Dad, you bought the f@#$%^# Ford, you have to live with it, not me.' ************************************ Paddy was working at the fish plant in Cork when he accidentally cut off all 10 of his fingers. He went to the emergency room in Cork Hospital. The doctor looked at Paddy and said, 'Let's be avin' da fingers and I'll see what oi can do'. Paddy said, 'Oi haven't got da fingers.' 'Whadya mean you haven't got da fingers? Lord Tunderin' Jesus, it's 2008! We've got microsurgery and all kinds of incredible techniques. I could have put dem back on and made you like new! Why didn't ya bring da fingers?!?' And Paddy said, 'So be tellin me, how da heck was I s'posed to pick dem up?' ************************************ Two Australian businessmen in Sydney were sitting down for a break, in their soon-to be opened, new store. As yet, the store wasn't ready, with only a few shelves set up. One said to the other, 'I bet any minute now some thick tourist is going to walk by, put his face to the window and ask what we're selling.' No sooner were the words out of his mouth when, sure enough, a curious Kiwi walked to the window, had a peek, and in a Kiwi accent asked 'What are you selling here?' One of the men replied sarcastically, 'We're selling arse-holes.' Without skipping a beat, the Kiwi said, 'You are doing very well ..... Only two left!' Australians, God bless 'em - should not mess with New Zealanders! ************************************ A lady walks into Tiffany's. She browses around, spots a beautiful diamond bracelet and walks over to inspect it. As she bends over to look more closely she inadvertently farts. Very embarrassed, she looks around nervously to see if anyone has noticed her little accident and prays that a sales person doesn't pop up right now. As she turns around, her worst nightmare materialises in the form of a salesman standing right behind her. Cool as a cucumber and displaying complete professionalism, the salesman greets the lady with, 'Good day, Madam. How may we help you today?' Very uncomfortably, but hoping that the salesman may just not have been there at the time of her little 'accident', she asks, 'Sir, what is the price of this lovely bracelet?' He answers, 'Madam, if you broke wind just looking at it, you're going to require the underwear department after I tell you the price.' Cheers Billy 8-{) :lol:	Billy T (70)
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