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| Thread ID: 94062 | 2008-10-12 18:06:00 | Digital Home Diary | SurferJoe46 (51) | PC World Chat |
| Post ID | Timestamp | Content | User | ||
| 711828 | 2008-10-12 18:06:00 | Aug 28, 2008: Moved in to my new digitally-maxed out Hermosa Beach house at last. Finally, we live in the smartest house in the neighborhood. Everything’s networked. The cable TV is connected to our phone, which is connected to my personal computer, which is connected to the power lines, all the appliances and the security system. Everything runs off a universal remote with the friendliest interface I’ve ever used. Programming is a snap. I’m like, totally wired. Aug 30: Hot Stuff! Programmed my VCR from the office, turned up the thermostat and switched on the lights with the car phone, remotely tweaked the oven a few degrees for my pizza. Everything nice & cozy when I arrived. Maybe I should get the universal remote surgically attached. Sept 1: Had to call the SmartHouse people today about bandwidth problems. The TV drops to about 2 frames/second when I’m talking on the phone. They insist it’s a problem with the cable company’s compression algorithms. How do they expect me to order things from the Home Shopping Channel? Sept 8: Got my first SmartHouse invoice today and was unpleasantly surprised. I suspect the cleaning woman of surfing YouTube from the washing machine interface when I’m not here. She must be downloading a lot of Vids from the binary groups, because packet charges were through the roof on the invoice. Sept 3: Yesterday, the kitchen BIOS CRASHED. Freak event. As I opened the refrigerator door, the light bulb blew. Immediately, everything else electrical shut down — lights, microwave, coffee maker — everything. Carefully unplugged and replugged all the appliances to force a cold-boot. Nothing. Call the cable company (but not from the kitchen phone). They refer me to the electric utility. The utility insists that the problem is in the software. So the software company runs some remote telediagnostics via my house processor. Their expert system claims it has to be the utility’s fault. I don’t care, I just want my kitchen back. More phone calls; more white page diag’s. Turns out the problem was “unanticipated failure mode”: The network had never seen a refrigerator bulb failure while the door was open. So the fuzzy logic interpreted the burnout as a power surge and shut down the entire kitchen. But because sensor memory confirmed that there hadn’t actually been a power surge, the kitchen logic sequence was confused and it couldn’t do a standard reboot. The utility guy swears this was the first time this has ever happened. Rebooting the kitchen took over an hour. Sept 17: The police are not happy. Our house keeps calling them for help. We discover that whenever we play the TV or stereo above 25 decibels, it creates patterns of micro-vibrations that get amplified when they hit the window. When these vibrations mix with a gust of wind, the security sensors are actuated, and the police computer concludes that someone is trying to break in. Go figure. Another glitch: Whenever the basement is in self-diagnostic mode, the universal remote won’t let me change the channels on my TV. That means I actually have to get up off the couch and change the channels by hand. The software and the utility people say this flaw will be fixed in the next upgrade — SmartHouse 2.1. But it’s still in beta and not ready yet. Finally, I’m starting to suspect that the microwave is secretly tuning into the cable system to watch Baywatch. The unit is completely inoperable during that same hour. I guess I can live with that. At least the blender is not tuning in to old I Love Lucy episodes. Sept 29: I just bought the new Microsoft Vista Home. Took 93 gigabytes of storage, but it will be worth it, I think. The house should be much easier to use and should really do everything. I had to sign a second mortgage over to Microsoft, but I don’t mind: I don’t really own my house now–it’s really the bank. Let them deal with Microsoft. Oct 1: I’m beginning to have doubts about Microsoft Vista House. I keep getting an hour glass symbol showing up when I want to run the dishwasher. Oct 2: This is a nightmare. There’s a virus….. |
SurferJoe46 (51) | ||
| 711829 | 2008-10-12 20:11:00 | Thanks Joe. I Love it. :thumbs: | Scouse (83) | ||
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