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Thread ID: 145800	2018-01-31 01:22:00	Up for grabs ... Monday Laughs and Happy Birthdays	WalOne (4202)	PC World Chat

Post ID	Timestamp	Content	User
1445757	2018-02-07 03:55:00	Not really a joke. I saw this on a TV doco, as a side point of interest. At first I thought it was a joke: The Dinorwig Power Station is a 1,728-megawatt (2,317,000 hp) pumped-storage hydroelectric scheme, near Dinorwig, Llanberis in Snowdonia national park in Gwynedd, north Wales. The project – begun in 1974 and costing £425 million[6] and taking ten years to complete – was the largest civil engineering contract ever awarded by the UK government at the time. 12,000,000 tonnes of rock had to be moved from inside the mountain, creating tunnels wide enough for two lorries to pass comfortably, and an enormous cavern 51 metres tall, 180 metres long, and 23 metres wide. The power station comprises 16 kilometres (9.9 mi) of tunnels, 1 million tons of concrete, 200,000 tons of cement and 4,500 tons of steel. The power station is connected to the National Grid substation at Pentir by 400 kV cables that are buried for approximately 10 kilometres (6 mi). Water is stored at a high altitude in Marchlyn Mawr reservoir and is discharged into Llyn Peris through the turbines during the day. It is pumped back from Llyn Peris to Marchlyn Mawr at night. So basically....it's a cat-rat farm. LOL! Although it uses more electricity to pump the water up than it generates on the way down, pumping is generally done at periods of low demand.	piroska (17583)
1445758	2018-02-08 22:21:00	Senior trying to set a password WINDOWS: Please enter your new password.. USER: cabbage WINDOWS: Sorry, the password must be more than 8 characters. USER: boiled cabbage WINDOWS: Sorry, the password must contain 1 numerical character.. USER: 1 boiled cabbage WINDOWS: Sorry, the password cannot have blank spaces. USER: 50bloodyboiledcabbages WINDOWS: Sorry, the password must contain at least one upper case character. USER: 50BLOODYboiledcabbages WINDOWS: Sorry, the password cannot use more than one upper case character consecutively. USER: 50BloodyBoiledCabbagesShovedUp​YourAssIfYouDon'tGi veMeAccessN​ow! WINDOWS: Sorry, the password cannot contain punctuation. USER: ReallyPissedOff50BloodyBoiledC​abbagesShovedUpYour AssIfYouDon​tGiveMeAccessNow WINDOWS: Sorry, that password is already in use. ..............................​................... ...........​..............................​....... .............. A Islamist Muslim living in New Zealand goes to a doctor and says, "I feel terrible". The doctor examines him and then says, "You need to piss and **** in a bucket for a week, then throw in a dead fish and a rotting cabbage. Then, put a towel over your head, hold your face over the bucket and inhale the vapors for 3 days". The man does this, goes back to the doctor and says, "I feel wonderful! What was wrong with me?" The Doctor said, "You were homesick	kenj (9738)
1445759	2018-02-08 22:55:00	Meanwhile somewhere in space Aliens were watching an unusual dance . KAMATE KAMATE KA-ORA KA-ORA . . . . . . The Aliens were very interested in what must be going through his mind right at this moment and they wanted to see what would happen if they would take a part of his brain away without him even knowing!! So with the Aliens high-technology they sent a laser beam down that hit the Kiwi blokes head and took a part of his brain away . The Aliens then sat back to see what would happen . . . . KA-MATE KA-MATE, KA-ORA KA-ORA . . . . . . . ???WHAT THE??? The Aliens were amazed with what they were seeing so they decided to send the beam down and take another part of his brain???? . The Aliens watched on . KA-MATE KA-MATE KA-ORA KA-ORA . . . . . . ???WHAT THE??? The Aliens then figured these kiwis must be very clever people even with half a brain . So they wanted to see what would happen if they took the remainder of his brain away and left him with no knowledge what so ever! So with a push of a button the Aliens sent the beam down which took the final part of the Kiwis brain . Now surely he won't know anything at all, he should be too dumb to do anything now? So the Aliens watched on as the bloke with no brains left then started singing, WALTZING MATILDA, WALTZING MATILDA . . . . . . . . . . Ken :banana Just going through my old emails :clap	kenj (9738)
1445760	2018-02-09 00:41:00	God's Plan for Ageing? Most seniors never get enough exercise. In His wisdom God decreed that seniors become forgetful so they would have to search for their glasses, keys and other things thus doing more walking. And God looked down and saw that it was good. Then God saw there was another need. In His wisdom He made seniors lose coordination so they would drop things requiring them to bend, reach & stretch. And God looked down and saw that it was good. Then God considered the function of bladders and decided seniors would have additional calls of nature requiring more trips to the bathroom, thus providing more exercise. God looked down and saw that it was good. So if you find as you age, you are getting up and down more, remember it’s God’s will. It is all in your best interest even though you mutter under your breath. Nine Important Facts To Remember As We Grow Older #9 Death is the number one killer in the world. #8 Life is sexually transmitted. #7 Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die. #6 Men have 2 motivations: hunger and hanky panky, and they can't tell them apart. If you see a gleam in his eyes, make him a sandwich. #5 Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day. Teach a person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks, months, maybe years unless you give them your email address. #4 Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in the hospital, dying of nothing. #3 All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism. #2 In the 60's, people took LSD to make the world weird. Now the world is weird, and people take Prozac to make it normal. #1 Life is like a jar of jalapeño peppers. What you do today may be a burning issue tomorrow.	smithie 38 (6684)
1445761	2018-02-09 01:34:00	Loved the list !	piroska (17583)
1445762	2018-02-10 09:23:00	I loved those one liners Roscoe. And Walone. It must have been hard to come up jokes every week. And I agree with you abouy the PC thing. Personsally I hate PC, it is ruining the western world. The only good thing about it is that we now call spastics etc disabled, and we don't laugh at them. That is good. But for the rest, everything goes in my book. Half of us are male and half female We were all young once, and we all get old. Some of us were born white and some black.	Digby (677)
1445763	2018-02-10 09:28:00	What this site needs is More members. And an uptick / thanks button	Digby (677)
1445764	2018-02-10 20:09:00	[QUOTE=Digby;1272918 The only good thing about it is that we now call spastics etc disabled, and we don't laugh at them. That is good. Half of us are male and half female Some of us were born white and some black.[/QUOTE] Double standard there?	piroska (17583)
1445765	2018-02-11 00:03:00	I have a suggestion for Monday Laughs: Why not get someone to start it off with one joke to which anyone who wants to can add their own joke? That seems to have worked fairly well on this thread. All we need is the person to start it off and it does not have to be the same person each week. Why not give it a try?	Roscoe (6288)
1445766	2018-02-11 00:16:00	I have a suggestion for Monday Laughs: Why not get someone to start it off with one joke to which anyone who wants to can add their own joke? That seems to have worked fairly well on this thread. All we need is the person to start it off and it does not have to be the same person each week. Why not give it a try? X2	Marnie (4574)
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