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| Thread ID: 94900 | 2008-11-16 20:26:00 | Monday Laughs: ............Flying, and all that jazz | Billy T (70) | PC World Chat |
| Post ID | Timestamp | Content | User | ||
| 720687 | 2008-11-18 08:45:00 | Oh to laugh again. Thank you Johcar, you're my hero. :D |
Thebananamonkey (7741) | ||
| 720688 | 2008-11-18 08:50:00 | deleted | SolMiester (139) | ||
| 720689 | 2008-11-18 10:01:00 | Back to the jokes: Two sisters, one blonde and one brunette, inherit the family ranch . Unfortunately, after just a few years, they are in financial trouble . In order to keep the bank from repossessing the ranch, they need to purchase a bull so that they can breed their own stock . Upon leaving, the brunette tells her sister, 'When I get there, if I decide to buy the bull, I'll contact you to drive out after me and haul it home . ' The brunette arrives at the man's ranch, inspects the bull, and decides she wants to buy it . The man tells her that he will sell it for $599, no less . After paying him, she drives to the nearest town to send her sister a telegram to tell her the news . She walks into the telegraph office, and says, 'I want to send a telegram to my sister telling her that I've bought a bull for our ranch . I need her to hitch the trailer to our pickup truck and drive out here so we can haul it home . ' The telegraph operator explains that he'll be glad to help her, then the brunette realizes that she'll only be able to send her sister one word . After a few minutes of thinking, she nods and says, 'I want you to send her the word 'comfortable . ' The operator shakes his head . 'How is she ever going to know that you want her to hitch the trailer to your pickup truck and drive out here to haul that bull back to your ranch if you send her just the word 'comfortable?' The brunette explains, 'My sister's blonde . The word is big . She'll read it very slowly . . . . 'com-for-da-bul . ' You missed a couple of points there johcar! The brunette only has $600 on her, and the telegraph office charges $1 per word . |
Erayd (23) | ||
| 720690 | 2008-11-18 18:20:00 | You missed a couple of points there johcar! The brunette only has $600 on her, and the telegraph office charges $1 per word. She had $600and the bull cost $599, leaving 0.99c for her telegram... She walks away with 0.01c - unless she's in NZ where it would be rounded up... |
johcar (6283) | ||
| 720691 | 2008-11-18 19:29:00 | Very few places will give change of 0 . 01c . On the other hand, $0 . 01 will . . . ;) | R2x1 (4628) | ||
| 720692 | 2008-11-18 23:15:00 | Very few places will give change of 0 . 01c . On the other hand, $0 . 01 will . . . ;) Would need a very fine laser cutter for that . |
Thebananamonkey (7741) | ||
| 720693 | 2008-11-18 23:26:00 | Or perhaps a Large Hadron Collider? They might need another use for it now: Quantum effects bring no solace for physicists ONE of the grandest visions of physics could be a mirage. Conventional thinking has it that all the fundamental forces of nature diverged from one single force soon after the big bang. Now it seems that quantum effects may make it impossible to prove if this idea is correct. In the 1970s, data from the Large Electron Positron Collider at CERN near Geneva hinted that the strong, weak and electromagnetic forces were beginning to converge at the energies created during particle collisions. By extrapolating this convergence to much higher energies, physicists speculated that the forces would become indistinguishable at around 1016 gigaelectronvolts. The universe was in this energy state soon after the big bang, which suggests that all the forces may once have been unified. Now Xavier Calmet of the Catholic University of Louvain in Belgium and his colleagues argue that it may be impossible to prove if this theory is right via any conceivable experiment in a particle accelerator. The problem is that the high energy levels at which unification of all the forces is thought to occur is close to the "Planck scale", at which quantum fluctuations in space-time become strong. These fluctuations may create huge uncertainties in the strengths of the forces at this scale, says Calmet. If true, it would mean that all bets are off as to how the forces will actually behave at high energies - no matter what the data from particle accelerators might suggest in the future. The researchers' calculations explored whether the existence of "supersymmetric" particles would make a difference to the Planck scale. Supersymmetry models, devised to tackle inherent problems with standard theories of unification, suggest that every particle has a high-energy partner. The existence of all these extra supersymmetric particles reduces the Planck scale, causing enough uncertainty to make it impossible to tell if unification does occur at higher energies. The results will appear in Physical Review Letters (www.arxiv.org/abs/0809.3953 (www.arxiv.org)). Calmet admits all this is "a bit depressing", because it dashes hopes of a grand unified theory emerging from the relatively low-energy measurements made at the Large Hadron Collider at CERN. "We have shown that this is virtually impossible," he says. "We'll never find out whether unification happens by doing low-energy measurements."Depressed physicists! Just think how depressed the funders of the Collider will be when they find out the billions of Euros they spent were effectively poured down the drain!!! :D |
johcar (6283) | ||
| 720694 | 2008-11-19 00:51:00 | Or perhaps a Large Hadron Collider? They might need another use for it now: Depressed physicists! Just think how depressed the funders of the Collider will be when they find out the billions of Euros they spent were effectively poured down the drain!!! :D Cool machine though, beautiful too. Most expensive soldering mistake ever at the moment though. $30mil and a years downtime to fix a single faulty solder point. lol. |
Thebananamonkey (7741) | ||
| 720695 | 2008-11-19 19:50:00 | CHINESE PROVERBS *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* Virginity like bubble, one prick, all gone . *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* Man who run in front of car get t y red . *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* Man who run behind car get exhausted . *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* Man with hand in pocket feel cocky all day . *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* Foolish man give wife grand piano, wise man give wife upright organ . *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* Man who walk through airport turnstile sideways going to Bangkok . *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* Man with one chopstick go hungry . *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* Man who scratch ass should not bite fingernails . *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* Man who eat many prunes get good run for money . *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* Baseball is wrong: man with four balls cannot walk . *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* Panties not best thing on earth! But next to best thing on earth . *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* War does not determine who is right, war determine who is left . *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* Wife who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cat house . *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* Man who fight with wife all day get no piece at night . *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* It take many nails to build crib, but one screw to fill it . *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* Man who drive like hell, bound to get there . . *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* Man who stand on toilet is high on pot . *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* Man who live in glass house should change clothes in basement . *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* Man who fish in other man's well often catch crabs . *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* Man who fart in church sit in own pew . *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* Crowded elevator smell different to midget . *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* |
Cicero (40) | ||
| 720696 | 2008-11-20 07:26:00 | I don't get any of them? :confused: | Blam (54) | ||
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