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Thread ID: 95879	2008-12-19 17:28:00	You Have Cows:	SurferJoe46 (51)	PC World Chat

Post ID	Timestamp	Content	User
731263	2008-12-19 17:28:00	AMERICAN REPUBLICAN You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. So? AMERICAN SOCIALIST You have two cows. The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor. You form a cooperative to tell him how to manage his cow. AMERICAN DEMOCRAT See: AMERICAN SOCIALIST above. Collect fines from farmer for environmental impact caused by bovine flatulence. Tax farmers who make profits until they have equal net income to farmers in Botswana. Send US agricultural products to undernourished Botswanan farmers so it can rot on the tarmac. Provide cows with inter-species marriage rights. COMMUNIST You have two cows. The government seizes both and provides you with milk. You wait in line for hours to get it. It is expensive and sour. BUREAUCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE You have two cows. Under the new farm program the government pays you to shoot one, milk the other, and then pours the milk down the drain. AMERICAN CORPORATION You have two cows. You sell one, lease it back to yourself and do an IPO on the 2nd one. You force the two cows to produce the milk of four cows. You are surprised when one cow drops dead. You spin an announcement to the analysts stating you have downsized and are reducing expenses. Your stock goes up. FRENCH CORPORATION You have two cows. You go on strike because you want three cows. You go to lunch and drink wine. Life is good. JAPANESE CORPORATION You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. They learn to travel on unbelievably crowded trains. Most are at the top of their class at cow school. GERMAN CORPORATION You have two cows. You engineer them so they are all blond, drink lots of beer, give excellent quality milk, and run a hundred miles an hour. Unfortunately they also demand 13 weeks of vacation per year. NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION You are the proud owner of 10,000 cows. Your cows all graze on grass in beautiful pasturelands. You produce the finest quality meats and dairy products in the world. You export all your meat and dairy products to other countries. Your family eats at McDonalds on Chinese meat by-products. ITALIAN CORPORATION You have two cows but you don't know where they are. You break for lunch. Life is good. RUSSIAN CORPORATION You have two cows. You have some vodka. You count them and learn you have five cows. You have some more vodka. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. The Mafia shows up and takes over however many cows you really have. TALIBAN CORPORATION You have all the cows in Afghanistan, which are two. You don't milk them because you cannot touch any creature's private parts. You get a $40 million grant from the US government to find alternatives to milk production but use the money to buy weapons. IRAQI CORPORATION You have two cows. They go into hiding. They send video tapes of their mooing. POLISH CORPORATION You have two bulls. Employees are regularly maimed and killed attempting to milk them. BELGIAN CORPORATION You have one cow. The cow is schizophrenic. Sometimes the cow thinks he's French, other times he's Flemish. The Flemish cow won't share with the French cow. The French cow wants control of the Flemish cow's milk. The cow asks permission to be cut in half. The cow dies happy. FLORIDA CORPORATION You have a black cow and a brown cow. Everyone votes for the best looking one. Some of the people who actually like the brown one best accidentally vote for the black one. Some people vote for both. Some people vote for neither. Some people can't figure out how to vote at all. Finally, a bunch of guys from out-of-state tell you which one you think is the best-looking cow. CALIFORNIA CORPORATION You have millions of cows. They make real California cheese. Only five speak English. Most are illegal. Arnold likes the ones with the big udders.	SurferJoe46 (51)
731264	2008-12-19 20:45:00	I don't have cows. If I did have cows I'd choose to be Italian, easy management! Great one Joe! :thumbs:	lakewoodlady (103)
731265	2008-12-19 21:10:00	I work for a French corporation, and that seems pretty much how it goes. The upside of this is that a company of several hundred thousand isn't shedding any employees. It's called being cautious, and it's great.	Thebananamonkey (7741)
731266	2008-12-19 21:19:00	You missed out the Mad English cows, that took over the world then gave it all away, invented most of the worlds popular sports and then promptly lost all the matches.	gary67 (56)
731267	2008-12-19 23:01:00	i want a japanesse cow. ROFL..... ill teach it to speak english	ZapperBoy10647 (11988)
731268	2008-12-19 23:20:00	i want a japanesse cow. ROFL..... ill teach it to speak english Or we could get a Japanese cow to teach YOU how to speak English.	Thebananamonkey (7741)
731269	2008-12-19 23:35:00	Or we could get a Japanese cow to teach YOU how to speak English. Excellent retort, Bananamonkey, hee hee!	feersumendjinn (64)
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