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Thread ID: 145924	2018-03-04 21:23:00	Monday Laughs Mar 5th	Digby (677)	PC World Chat

Post ID	Timestamp	Content	User
1447005	2018-03-04 21:23:00	Continuing my What they really mean series Its New - Different colours from the last one Leading Edge - It needs 24 gig of Ram to run After Years of Work - We finally got one to work	Digby (677)
1447006	2018-03-04 23:35:00	Most seniors never get enough exercise . In His wisdom God decreed that seniors become forgetful so they would have to search for their glasses, keys and other things thus doing more walking . And God looked down and saw that it was good . Then God saw there was another need . In His wisdom He made seniors lose coordination so they would drop things requiring them to bend, reach & stretch . And God looked down and saw that it was good . Then God considered the function of bladders and decided seniors would have additional calls of nature requiring more trips to the bathroom, thus providing more exercise . God looked down and saw that it was good . So if you find as you age, you are getting up and down more, remember it’s God’s will . It is all in your best interest even though you mutter under your breath . Nine Important Facts To Remember As We Grow Older #9 Death is the number one killer in the world . #8 Life is sexually transmitted . #7 Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die . #6 Men have 2 motivations: hunger and hanky panky, and they can't tell them apart . If you see a gleam in his eyes, make him a sandwich . #5 Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day . Teach a person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks, months, maybe years unless you give them your email address . #4 Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in the hospital, dying of nothing . #3 All of us could take a lesson from the weather . It pays no attention to criticism . #2 In the 60s, people took LSD to make the world weird . Now the world is weird, and people take Prozac to make it normal . #1 Life is like a jar of jalapeño peppers . What you do today may be a burning issue tomorrow . Please share this wisdom with others while I go to the bathroom .	B.M. (505)
1447007	2018-03-05 00:33:00	The Goodnight Kiss* One night a guy takes his girlfriend home . As they are about to kiss each other goodnight at the front door, the guy starts feeling a little amorous . With an air of confidence, he leans with his hand against the wall and smiling, he says to her, "Honey, would you have sex with me?” Horrified, she replies, "Are you mad? My parents will see us!” "Oh come on! Who's gonna see us at this hour?" he asks, grinning at her . “No, please . Can you imagine if we get caught?” "Oh come on! There's nobody around, they're all sleeping!” “No way It’s just too risky!” “Oh please, please . . . . love you so much!” “No, no, and no . I love you too, but I just can’t!” “Oh yes you can . Please?” “No, no I just can’t!” “I’m begging you . . . “ Out of the blue, the light on the stairs goes on, and the girl’s older sister shows up in her pyjamas, hair dishevelled, and in a sleepy voice, she says: “Dad says to go ahead and have sex with him, or I can do it, or if need be, mum says she can come down herself and do it . . . but for God’s sake, “Tell him to take his hand off the intercom!"	smithie 38 (6684)
1447008	2018-03-05 06:56:00	This bloke goes to a dance and has the good fortune to get off with a young lady named Tina, he ends up escorting her to her home and he is invited to stay the night, which they both enjoy. She gets up first and he’s surprised to see her in army uniform, she asks him if he’d like bacon and eggs for breakfast, to which he replies... “Don’t fry for me Sergeant Tina”	tutaenui (1724)
1447009	2018-03-06 03:06:00	Semper Tie A former Sergeant in the Marine Corps took a new job as a high school teacher . Just before the school year started, he injured his back . He was required to wear a plaster cast around the upper part of his body . Fortunately, the cast fit under his shirt and wasn't noticeable . On the first day of class, he found himself assigned to the toughest students in the school . The smart-aleck punks, having already heard the new teacher was a former Marine, were leery of him and he knew they would be testing his discipline in the classroom . Walking confidently into the rowdy classroom, the new teacher opened the window wide and sat down at his desk . When a strong breeze made his tie flap, he picked up a stapler and stapled the tie to his chest . Dead silence . . . The rest of the year went very smoothly .	Marnie (4574)
1447010	2018-03-09 20:17:00	During my check-up I asked the Doctor, "Do you think I'll live a long and healthy life then?" He replied, "I doubt it somehow. Mercury is in Uranus right now." I said, "I don't go in for any of that astrology nonsense." He replied, "Neither do I. My thermometer just broke."	WalOne (4202)
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