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Thread ID: 99687 2009-05-11 02:40:00 Monday Laughs..............Love is a many splendoured thing........I think? Billy T (70) PC World Chat
Post ID Timestamp Content User
772996 2009-05-19 22:18:00 John Key, Prime Minister of New Zealand, is rudely awoken at 4am by the telephone .

"John, its the Health Minister here . Sorry to bother you at this hour but there is an emergency! I've just received word that the Durex factory in Auckland has burned to the ground . It is estimated the the entire New Zealand supply of condoms will be gone by the end of the week . !!!"

PM: "Sh*t - the economy will never be able to cope with all those unwanted babies - we'll be ruined!"

Health Minister: "We're going to have to ship some in from . . . Britain? . . . "

PM: "No chance!! The Poms will have a field day on this one!"

Health Minister: "What about Australia ?"


PM: "I'll call Kevin Rudd - tell him we need one million condoms; Ten inches long and eight inches thick! That way they'll continue to respect the all blacks!!"

Three days later a delighted John rushes out to open the boxes . He finds condoms; 10 inches long; 8 inches thick, all coloured green and gold . With small writing on each one . . . . . . . . .



MADE IN AUSTRALIA - SIZE : MEDIUM :D 		smithie 38 (6684)
772997 2009-05-21 05:44:00 This comes from 2 math teachers with a combined total of 70 yrs . experience .


Here is a little something someone sent me that is indisputable mathematical logic . It also made me Laugh Out Loud .
This is a strictly mathematical viewpoint . . . it goes like this:

What Makes 100%? What does it mean to give MORE than 100%? Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%? We have all been to those meetings where someone wants you to give over 100% . How about achieving 103%? What makes up 100% in life?

Here's a little mathematical formula that might help you answer these questions:

If:
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

is represented as:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 .

Then:

H-A-R-D-W-O-R-K
8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98%


and


K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E
11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96%

But ,

A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E
1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%

And,

B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T
2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20 = 103%

AND, look how far ass kissing will take you .

A-S-S-K-I-S-S-I-N-G
1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7 = 118%

So, one can conclude with mathematical certainty, that While hard work and Knowledge will get you close, and Attitude will get you there, it’s the Bullshit and Ass kissing that will put you over the top . 		Cicero (40)
772998 2009-05-21 06:08:00 brilliant :) williamF (115)
772999 2009-05-22 00:10:00 Good one Ciccy! I choked on my coffee lol!~ rob_on_guitar (4196)
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