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Thread ID: 99957	2009-05-21 06:28:00	Thursday Laughs...........The four best '08 jokes that didn't quite make it on Monday	Billy T (70)	PC World Chat

Post ID	Timestamp	Content	User
775608	2009-05-21 06:28:00	Fourth Place: A man bumps into a woman in a hotel lobby and as he does, his elbow goes into her breast. They are both quite startled. The man turns to her and says, 'Ma'am, if your heart is as soft as your breast, I know you'll forgive me.' She replies, 'If your penis is as hard as your elbow, I'm in Room 221.' --------------------------------- Third Place: One night, as a couple lays down for bed, the husband starts rubbing his wife's arm. The wife turns over and says 'I'm sorry honey, I've got a gynaecologist appointment tomorrow and I want to stay fresh.' The husband, rejected, turns over. A few minutes later, he rolls back over and taps his wife again, 'Do you have a dentist appointment tomorrow too?' --------------------------------- Runner Up: Bill worked in a pickle factory. He had been employed there for a number of years when he came home one day to confess to his wife that he had a terrible compulsion. He had an urge to stick his penis into the pickle slicer. His wife suggested that he should see a sex therapist to talk about it but Bill said he would be too embarrassed. He vowed to overcome the compulsion on his own. One day a few weeks later, Bill came home and his wife could see at once that something was seriously wrong. 'What's happened Bill?' she asked. bill said; 'Do you remember that I told you how I had this tremendous urge to put my penis into the pickle slicer?' 'Oh, Bill , you didn't' she exclaimed. 'Yes, I did.' he replied. 'My God, Bill , what happened?' 'I got fired.' 'No, Bill! I mean, what happened with the pickle slicer?' 'Oh... she got fired too.' --------------------------------- The Winner: A couple had been married for 50 years. They were sitting at the breakfast table one morning when the wife says: 'Just think, fifty years ago we were just married and sitting here at this same breakfast table together.' 'I know,' the old man said. 'And fifty years ago we were probably naked as a pair of jaybirds too.' 'Well,' Granny snickered. 'Let's relive some old times.' Where upon, the two stripped to the buff and sat back down at the table. 'You know, honey,' the little old lady breathlessly replied, 'My nipples are as hot for you today as they were fifty years ago.' 'I wouldn't be surprised,' replied Gramps. 'One's in your coffee and the other is in your oatmeal.' Cheers Billy 8-{) :clap	Billy T (70)
775609	2009-05-21 06:55:00	:lol::lol:	pcuser42 (130)
775610	2009-05-21 07:13:00	legend stuff billy	hueybot3000 (3646)
775611	2009-05-21 07:27:00	:lol: good jokes Billy	convair (13650)
775612	2009-05-21 07:50:00	Fantastic as always thanks Billy T	gary67 (56)
775613	2009-05-21 10:23:00	One more for the road......... Kevin Rudd, Prime Minister of Australia, is awoken at 4am by the telephone ringing: " Kevin, it’s the Health Minister here. Sorry to bother you at this hour but there is an emergency! I've just received word that the Durex factory in Sydney has burned to the ground. It is estimated that the entire Australian supply of condoms will be gone by the end of the week! " PM: " Shite!!! - The economy will never be able to cope with all those unwanted babies - we'll be ruined!! " Health Minister: " We're going to have to ship some in from... Britain? " PM: " No chance! The Poms will have a field day on this one! " Health Minister: " What about New Zealand? " PM: " Good idea! I'll call John Key on our hot line and tell him we need ten million condoms; eleven inches long and five inches thick! That way they might start to give the Wallabies some respect! " Three days later a delighted Kevin rushes out to open the boxes. He finds ten million condoms; 11 inches long; 5 inches thick. All are coloured either black or white, with small writing on each one... MADE IN NEW ZEALAND SIZE: SMALL	Billy T (70)
775614	2009-05-21 12:49:00	One more for the road . . . . . . . . . Kevin Rudd, Prime Minister of Australia, is awoken at 4am by the telephone ringing: " Kevin, it’s the Health Minister here . Sorry to bother you at this hour but there is an emergency! I've just received word that the Durex factory in Sydney has burned to the ground . It is estimated that the entire Australian supply of condoms will be gone by the end of the week! " PM: " Shite!!! - The economy will never be able to cope with all those unwanted babies - we'll be ruined!! " Health Minister: " We're going to have to ship some in from . . . Britain? " PM: " No chance! The Poms will have a field day on this one! " Health Minister: " What about New Zealand? " PM: " Good idea! I'll call John Key on our hot line and tell him we need ten million condoms; eleven inches long and five inches thick! That way they might start to give the Wallabies some respect! " Three days later a delighted Kevin rushes out to open the boxes . He finds ten million condoms; 11 inches long; 5 inches thick . All are coloured either black or white, with small writing on each one . . . MADE IN NEW ZEALAND SIZE: SMALL Don't even read your own threads? . co . nz/showpost . php?p=783792&postcount=31" target="_blank">pressf1 . co . nz The first post was actually pretty funny though, first two were fantastic .	roddy_boy (4115)
775615	2009-05-21 22:33:00	It's a sequel/retort to the earlier one, roddy_boy Makes the earlier one funnier....	johcar (6283)
775616	2009-05-22 00:55:00	Not sure whether I've posted this one here before, and it's slightly marginal, but seeing Billy's efforts above, it might sneak in... *** A guy is walking down the street with some chicken wire under his arm. His neighbour sees him and asks what he has. The guy replies, "Its chicken wire and I'm going to catch some chickens." His neighbour says, "You fool, you can't catch chickens with chicken wire." Later that night, he sees the guy walking down the street dragging 12 chickens. The next day he sees him walking down the street with some duct tape under his arm. Once again he asks what the guy is up to. The guy says he has some duct tape and he is going to catch some ducks. He replies, "You fool, you can't catch ducks with duct tape." Sure enough later that night, he sees the guy walking down the street dragging 12 ducks behind him. The next day, he sees the guy walking with something else under his arm. He asks what it is. The guy replies, "Its pussy willow." He says, "Hold on, let me get my hat."	johcar (6283)
775617	2009-05-22 04:59:00	:lol:	qazwsxokmijn (102)
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