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| Thread ID: 101586 | 2009-07-20 05:25:00 | Watch What You Wish For ------------ | SurferJoe46 (51) | PC World Chat |
| Post ID | Timestamp | Content | User | ||
| 793296 | 2009-07-20 05:25:00 | Two men were adrift in a life boat following a dramatic escape from a burning freight vessel . While rummaging through the boat's provisions, one of the men stumbled across an old lamp . Secretly hoping that a genie would appear, he rubbed the lamp vigorously . To the amazement of the castaways, a genie came forth! This particular genie, however, stated that she could only deliver one wish, not the standard three . Without giving much thought to the matter the man blurted out, "Make the entire ocean into beer!" Immediately the genie clapped her hands with a deafening crash, and the entire sea turned into the finest brew ever sampled by mortals . Simultaneously, the genie vanished to her freedom . Only the gentle lapping of beer on the hull broke the stillness as the two men considered their circumstances . The other man looked disgustedly at the one whose wish had been granted . After a long, tension-filled moment, he spoke: "Nice going! Now we're going to have to pee in the boat . " |
SurferJoe46 (51) | ||
| 793297 | 2009-07-20 05:34:00 | A Catholic guy goes into the confessional box . He notices on one side a fully equipped bar with Guinness on tap . On the other wall is a dazzling array of the finest Cuban cigars . Then the priest comes in . The man says, "Father, forgive me, for it's been a very long time since I've been to confession, but I must first admit that the confessional box is much more inviting these days," The priest replies, "Get out . You're on my side . " |
SurferJoe46 (51) | ||
| 793298 | 2009-07-20 05:37:00 | A Catholic guy goes into the confessional box. He notices on one side a fully equipped bar with Guinness on tap. On the other wall is a dazzling array of the finest Cuban cigars. Then the priest comes in. The man says, "Father, forgive me, for it's been a very long time since I've been to confession, but I must first admit that the confessional box is much more inviting these days," The priest replies, "Get out. You're on my side." Love it!!! :thumbs: :thumbs: :thumbs: :thumbs: :thumbs: |
johcar (6283) | ||
| 793299 | 2009-07-20 05:38:00 | A new priest noticed a group of boys playing with a bottle of mysterious, smoking liquid on the sidewalk in front of his church . Wanting to engage the youth of the community, he approached them and asked what was in the bottle . "It's battery acid, Father," they told him . Realizing that this was not good and that they might get hurt, he rushed back into the church and returned with a bottle of holy water which he offered to the boys in exchange for the acid . "What can that holy water do that so's special?" demanded the leader of the group . "Why, I once poured some on a woman's belly and she passed a baby," boasted the priest . "That's nothing," replied the youth . "I poured some of this acid on a cat's butt and he passed a motorcycle!" |
SurferJoe46 (51) | ||
| 793300 | 2009-07-20 05:39:00 | Nice one. :D | wratterus (105) | ||
| 793301 | 2009-07-20 06:03:00 | As a bagpiper, I was asked by a funeral director to play at a graveside service for a homeless man who had no family or friends. The funeral was to be held at a cemetery in the remote countryside and this man would be the first to be laid to rest there. As I was not familiar with the backwoods area, I became lost and being a typical man, did not stop for directions. I finally arrived an hour late. I saw the backhoe and the crew who were eating lunch but the hearse was nowhere in sight. I apologized to the workers for my tardiness and stepped to the side of the open grave where I saw the vault lid already in place. I assured the workers I would not hold them up for long but this was the proper thing to do. The workers gathered around, still eating their lunch I played out my heart and soul. As I played the workers began to weep. I played and I played like I'd never played before, from Going Home and The Lord is My Shepherd to Flowers of the Forest . I closed the lengthy session with Amazing Grace and walked to my car. As I was opening the door and taking off my coat, I overheard one of the workers saying to another, "Sweet Jeezuz, Mary'n Joseph, I never seen nothin' like that before and I've been putting in septic tanks for twenty years. |
SurferJoe46 (51) | ||
| 793302 | 2009-07-20 10:02:00 | 'tis a good day to be sure. | R2x1 (4628) | ||
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