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| Thread ID: 146434 | 2018-08-03 02:14:00 | Friday Funnies | piroska (17583) | PC World Chat |
| Post ID | Timestamp | Content | User | ||
| 1452230 | 2018-08-03 02:14:00 | . us/2018/08/your-cpu-is-really-hot/" target="_blank">bitsandpieces . us Biker Johns old lady has a heart attack and is taken to the hospital . While on the operating table, she had a near-death experience . Seeing God, she asked, “Is my time up?” God said, “No, you have another 43 years, 2 months, and 8 days to live . ” Upon recovery, she decided to stay in the hospital and have a facelift, liposuction, and tummy tuck . Since she had so much more time to live, new roads to ride, she figured she might as well look even nicer . After her last operation, she was released from the hospital . While riding her motorcycle home, she was run into by a delivery truck and killed . Arriving in front of God, she demanded, “I thought you said I had another 40+ years? How come you didn’t pull me out of the path of that freakin’ truck?” God replied, “I didn’t recognize you . ” . us/2018/08/italian-navy/" target="_blank">bitsandpieces . us |
piroska (17583) | ||
| 1452231 | 2018-08-03 02:48:00 | After 10 years, a mother starts to think their kid looks kind of strange, so she decides to do a DNA test. As she suspected, she finds out the kid is actually from completely different parents. So, she decides to ask her husband what’s up. Wife: “Honey, I have something very serious to tell you.” Husband: “What's up?” Wife: “According to DNA test results, this is not our kid.” Husband: “Well you don't remember, do you? When we were leaving the hospital, you noticed that our baby had pooped, and then you said: "Please go change the baby, I'll wait for you here." So, I went inside, got a clean one and left the dirty one there.” Moral: Never give a man a job for which he is not qualified. ************************************************** ******************************************* Blonde Helping a Trucker....... A blonde lady motorist was about two hours from San Diego when she was flagged down by a man whose truck had broken down...... The man walked up to the car and asked, "Are you going to San Diego?" "Sure," answered the blonde, "do you need a lift?" "Not for me. I'll be spending the next three hours fixing my truck. My problem is I've got two chimpanzees in the back that have to be taken to the San Diego Zoo. They're a bit sressed already so I don't want to keep them on the road all day. Could you possibly take them to the zoo for me? I'll give you $100 for your trouble." "I'd be happy to," said the blonde . So the two chimpanzees were ushered into the back seat of the blonde's car and carefully strapped into their seat belts, and off they went. Five hours later, the truck driver was driving through the heart of San Diego when suddenly he was horrified! There was the blonde walking down the street, holding hands with the two chimps, much to the amusement of a big crowd. With a screech of brakes he pulled off the road and ran over to the blonde. "What are you doing here?" he demanded, "I gave you $100 to take these chimpanzees to the zoo!" "Yes, I know you did," said the blonde. "But we had money left over so now we're going to Sea World." :) |
smithie 38 (6684) | ||
| 1452232 | 2018-08-03 06:04:00 | I went to the liquor store Friday afternoon on my bicycle, bought a bottle of Scotch and put it in the bicycle basket. As I was about to leave, I thought to myself that if I fell off the bicycle, the bottle would break. So I drank all the Scotch before I cycled home. It turned out to be a very good decision, because I fell off my bicycle seven times on the way home. |
Roscoe (6288) | ||
| 1452233 | 2018-08-04 08:19:00 | In the backwoods of Arkansas, Mr. Stewart’s wife went into labor in the middle of the night. The doctor was called in to assist in the delivery. To keep the nervous father-to-be busy, the doctor handed him a lantern and said, “Here, you hold this high so I can see what I’m doing.” Soon, a baby boy was brought into the world. “Don’t be in a rush to put the lantern down. I think there’s yet another wee one to come.” Sure enough, within minutes he had delivered another baby. “Now don’t be in a great hurry to be putting down that lantern, young man. It seems there’s yet another!” cried the doctor. The new father scratched his head in bewilderment and asked the doctor. “Do ya think it’s the light that’s attractin’ them?” .................. Why does an elephant have four feet? Because he’d look silly with only six inches. |
tutaenui (1724) | ||
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