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Thread ID: 102808 2009-09-02 06:36:00 Random Thoughts SurferJoe46 (51) PC World Chat
Post ID Timestamp Content User
806279 2009-09-02 06:36:00 1. Birds of a feather flock together and crap on your car.

2. When I'm feeling down, I like to whistle. It makes the neighbor's dog run to the end of his chain and gag himself.

3. A penny saved is a government oversight.

4. The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because by then your body and your fat have gotten to be really good friends.

5. The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.

6. He who hesitates is probably right.

7. Did you ever notice: The Roman Numerals for forty (40) are 'XL' (excel).

8. If you think there is some good in everybody, you haven't met everybody.

9. If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame.

10. The sole purpose of a child's middle name is so he can tell when he's really in trouble.

11. There's always a lot to be thankful for if you take time to look for it. For example I am sitting here thinking - how nice it is that wrinkles don't hurt.

12. Did you ever notice: When you put the two words 'The' and 'IRS' together it spells 'Theirs.'

13. Aging: Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.

14. The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.

15. Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me, I want people to know 'why' I look this way. I've traveled a long way and some of the roads weren't paved.

16. When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to youth, think of Algebra.

17. You know you are getting old when everything either dries up, sags or leaks.

18. Ah, being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable.

19. First you forget names, then you forget faces. Then, you forget to pull up your zipper. It's worse when you forget to pull it down. 		SurferJoe46 (51)
806280 2009-09-02 11:33:00 :thumbs: R2x1 (4628)
806281 2009-09-02 11:38:00 I like number 10, pretty true, it has no use! wellyg33k (11804)
806282 2009-09-02 11:43:00 Avoid cutting yourself when slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold the vegetables while you chop.

Avoid arguments with women about lifting the toilet seat by using the sink.

For high blood pressure sufferers - simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure on your veins. Remember to use a timer.

A mouse trap placed on top of your alarm clock will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.

If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives. You'll be afraid to cough.

You only need two tools in life - WD-40 and duct tape. If it doesn't move and it should, use the WD-40. If it shouldn't move and it does, use the duct tape.

If you can't fix it with a hammer, you've got an electrical problem.

The last one for Wainuitech. :-) 		Sweep (90)
806283 2009-09-02 19:59:00 The toilet seat ones irrelevant in our house, we have to put the lid down otherwise SWMBO's cats drink out of it which grosses her out gary67 (56)
806284 2009-09-02 20:42:00 The toilet seat ones irrelevant in our house, we have to put the lid down otherwise SWMBO's cats drink out of it which grosses her out
LOL! 		Renmoo (66)
806285 2009-09-02 21:00:00 I have a cat at home and close the lid for the same reason. I wouldn't want to find my cat drowned in there.

On another note does anyone remember those shutup jokes that were around some time back?

"Mummy Mummy I want to lick the bowl."

"Shutup and flush it like a decent citizen."





"Mummy Mummy why am I walking round in circles?"

"Shutup or I'll nail your other foot to the floor."

A link to more.
www.mustsharejokes.com 		Sweep (90)
806286 2009-09-03 00:27:00 Mummy, mummy, how far is it to America?

Shut up and keep swimming.

Mummy, mummy, why are we pushing the car?

Shut up or you'll wake your father. 		user (1404)
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