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Thread ID: 103536	2009-09-27 09:55:00	Monday Laughs.............It's whack-a-blonde week..........	Billy T (70)	PC World Chat

Post ID	Timestamp	Content	User
814411	2009-09-27 09:55:00	With all the daylight I saved over winter, I had enough left over to bring Monday morning forward by 8 hours............... A blonde and her husband are lying in bed listening to the next door neighbor's dog. It has been in the backyard barking for hours and hours. The blonde jumps up out of bed and says, "I've had enough of this" and she goes downstairs. The blonde finally comes back up to bed and her husband says, "The dog is still barking, what have you been doing?" The blonde says, "I put the dog in our backyard, let's see how THEY like it! ********************************* Two Blondes With Hammers... Lynn and Judy were doing some carpentry work on a Habitat for Humanity house. Lynn was nailing down house siding, would reach into her nail pouch, pull out a nail and either toss it over her shoulder or nail it in. Judy, figuring this was worth looking into, asked, 'Why are you throwing those nails away?' Lynn explained, 'When I pull a nail out of my pouch, about half of them are defective and have the head on the wrong end so I throw them away.' Judy got completely upset and yelled, 'You moron! Those nails aren't defective! They're for the other side of the house!' ********************************* Did you hear about the two blondes who froze to death in a drive-in movie? They had gone to see 'Closed for the Winter.' ********************************* You might have to think twice about this one. A blonde hurried into the emergency room late one night with the tip of her index finger shot off. 'How did this happen?' the emergency room doctor asked her. 'Well, I was trying to commit suicide,' the blonde replied. 'What?' sputtered the doctor. 'You tried to commit suicide by shooting off your finger?' 'No, silly' the blonde said. 'First I put the gun to my chest, and then I thought, I just paid $6,000 for these implants, I'm not shooting myself in the chest.' 'So then?' asked the doctor. 'Then I put the gun in my mouth, and I thought, I just paid $3,000 to get my teeth straightened, I'm not shooting myself in the mouth.' 'So then?' 'Then I put the gun to my ear, and I thought: This is going to make a loud noise. So I put my finger in my other ear before I pulled the trigger'. ********************************* A blonde was driving home after a game and got caught in a really bad hailstorm. Her car was covered with dents, so the next day she took it to a repair shop. The shop owner saw that she was a blonde, so he decided to have some fun. He told her to go home and blow into the tail pipe really hard, and all the dents would pop out. So, the blonde went home, got down on her hands and knees and started blowing into her tailpipe. Nothing happened. So she blew a little harder, and still nothing happened. Her blonde roommate saw her and asked, 'What are you doing?' The first blonde told her how the repairman had instructed her to blow into the tail pipe in order to get all the dents to pop out. The roommate rolled her eyes and said, 'Uh, like hello! You need to roll up the windows first.' ********************************* A blonde was shopping at the Warehouse and came across a shiny silver Thermos. She was quite fascinated by it, so she picked it up and took it to the checkout to ask what it was. The checkout operator said, 'Why, that's a Thermos..... It keeps hot things hot, and cold things cold.' 'Wow', said the blonde, 'that's amazing....I'm going to buy it!' So she bought the Thermos and took it to work the next day. Her boss saw it on her desk. 'What's that,' he asked? 'Why, that's a Thermos..... It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold,' she replied. Her boss inquired, 'What do you have in it?' The blond replied..... ...'Two popsicles and some coffee.' ********************************* A blonde misunderstanding.......... A blonde drops off a shirt at the cleaners. As she turns to go, the lady at the counter says, "Come again". The blonde snaps, "No, it’s toothpaste this time, you nosey cow". ********************************* AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST: A blonde goes into work one morning crying her eyes out. Her boss asked sympathetically, 'What's the matter?' The blonde replies, 'Early this morning I got a phone call saying that my mother had passed away.' The boss, feeling sorry for her, says, 'Why don't you go home for the day? Take the day off to relax and rest.' 'Thanks, but I'd be better off here. I need to keep my mind off it and I have the best chance of doing that here.' The boss agrees and allows the blonde to work as usual. A couple of hours pass and the boss decides to check on the blonde. He looks out from his office and sees her sitting at her desk and crying hysterically. 'What's so bad now? Are you gonna be okay?' he asks. 'No!' exclaims the blonde. 'I just received a horrible call from my sister. Her mother died too! Cheers Billy 8-{) :clap	Billy T (70)
814412	2009-09-27 10:13:00	:thumbs:	Renmoo (66)
814413	2009-09-27 17:05:00	Love them as always thanks BIllyT	gary67 (56)
814414	2009-09-27 19:55:00	Good jokes Billy:banana	convair (13650)
814415	2009-09-27 20:12:00	Great ones today thanks Billy! :)	wratterus (105)
814416	2009-09-28 05:01:00	Not a blonde one but.... Two dwarfs go into a bar, where they pick up two 'working girls' and take them to their separate hotel rooms. The first dwarf, however, is unable to get an erection. His depression is made worse by the fact that, from the next room, he hears his friend shouting out cries of ' Here I come again! ONE, TWO, THREE .... UGH!' Here I come again! ONE, TWO, THREE .... UGH!' Here I come again! ONE, TWO, THREE ... UGH!' ... ALL NIGHT LONG. In the morning, the second dwarf asks the first, 'How did it go?' The first mutters, 'It was** e**mbarrassing.. I just couldn't get an erection.'** The second dwarf shook his head. 'You think that's embarrassing? I couldn't get on the bed.'	kenj (9738)
814417	2009-09-28 06:11:00	Like it Ken. ;)	Richard (739)
814418	2009-09-29 00:28:00	Good joke Ken:banana	convair (13650)
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